


Fools Desire [Orokamono no yokubō] (DD/lg SSC Kakashi x Reader)

by Lady_Rhey (xSukunas_Toy_Gojos_Bitchx)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood and Injury, Blushing, Broken Promises, Daddy Kink, Declarations Of Love, Dominant Hatake Kakashi, Dream Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Hatake Kakashi is a Good Teacher, Idiots in Love, Kink, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Little Girl - Freeform, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Lust, Multiple Orgasms, Neck Kissing, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Hatake Kakashi, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Reader as Little, Reader is a sub, Reader-Insert, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, SSC, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sensei - Freeform, Sex, Sexual Tension, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Simultaneous Orgasm, Sleeping Together, Story Arc, Surprise Kissing, Top Hatake Kakashi, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, daddy domme, dd/lg, new kink, sub Reader, x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 73,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xSukunas_Toy_Gojos_Bitchx/pseuds/Lady_Rhey
Summary: NO TRIGGER WARNINGSThanks to Luna3457890 this story now has a theme song. It’s RBD - Enséñame.https://youtu.be/fl_3RgaEzxgThis is the story that accompanies the Daddy’s Love One-Shots I did with Kakashi x Reader for Kinktober2020.  It can be read separately and there may be slight changes to the parts already written when they are incorporated.This is not mean to teach anyone about the DD/lg SSC dynamic so do your own homework. I am also not a guru in terms of knowing the ins and outs of this particular kink so let me know if dynamics need to be changed or aren’t believable. Just be polite.
Relationships: Ha take Kakashi/You, Hatake Kakashi & Reader, Hatake Kakashi & You, Hatake Kakashi/Reader
Comments: 130
Kudos: 180





	1. Trading One Daddy For Another

had always been a daddy’s girl.

At the ages under ten, whenever I got hurt or started crying, daddy would scoop me up in his arms and I would snuggle against his chest saying, “It’s alright princess. You don’t need to cry. Daddy’s here. Beside’s, princesses don’t cry. They have much better things to do.”

He felt so strong yet gentle, warm yet detached so I grew up with a sense that it was ok to feel but at some point you had to face the hard realities one step at a time.

In my early teens when boys would break my heart or something else would upset me on an emotional level, daddy would cook and feed me telling me, “Until you get control of your emotions you aren’t ready to feed yourself. Eating isn’t just about feeding oneself, it’s about feeding the soul.” 

Before I turned twenty daddy died on a mission leaving a princess without her king, a child without her father, and a void no one else could fill; or so I thought.

Unlike some, I couldn’t latch on to a man and desperately worship him beyond reason. I didn’t need to because no man could be worshipped more than my dad. Though the love for him shouldn’t be the same for a partner, I couldn’t help feeling the basic emotions, sense of security and daily interactions should be the same so I continued to stand next to my pedestal and wait for the right man to come and stand upon it beside me.

But that man never came.

By the time I was eighteen I was easily the butt of at least half a dozen friendly jokes from my female friends. They would tease me constantly that my face should be the old maid on the deck when we played old maid. I was always the witch or the evil step sister that never got the man when we acted out scenes from our favorite fairy tales. I was also the one everyone in the village called to watch their kids when they wanted to go out with their significant other.

Eventually I got fed up and decided on my twenty-first birthday to pursue my dream of becoming a medic so men like my father didn’t have to die needlessly leaving the hopes and dreams of unknown women behind.

That morning I went to the village chief ready for an argument but left with a letter of recommendation and an audience to see the Hokage of the lead village to discuss my potential.

For most of my days after that I would say that day was the moment my life changed, but I would be completely wrong. My life wouldn’t change until a month before my twenty-fifth birthday when I went out on my first mission as a wind medic hybrid to test what I had learned.

The mission should have been easy. It was a C level escort mission and I was with a seasoned team who wasn’t expected to need my support if things went sideways. Unfortunately things went more than sideways and we ended up getting ambushed as the sun was setting in front of us causing partial blindness by a group of trained assassins after the person we were supposed to escort; the unknown leader of some major underground slave trade organization.

That was the first easy mission I failed and the one that would change my life forever.

It all happened so fast. One minute we were talking casually on the road, the next our captain’s head had been sliced clean off; his body spraying blood that spattered my face and rendered me speechless.

Everything burst into chaos then. The rest of the team vanished into action as I, in shock, gathered the Captains head and brought it to his body placing it on his neck as tears poured down my face. Without realizing what I was doing or what was happening, I began to try to heal him as if somehow I could reattach his head and his soul would just return making everything all better. All the while weapons were clashing all around me and the person we had escorted vanished. 

I was never sure how long it took for the battle to end and the rescue team comprised of Kakashi and a few members of the Black Anbu to arrive, but when they did I, emotionally broken, was still seated covered in blood holding the captains head as I kept trying to heal him. Shaking and desperately crying while my team groaned around me or dragged themselves to fallen bodies in a vain attempt to heal them using whatever means they had, I felt just as small and fragile as I did when I was a little girl overwhelmed by something I couldn’t understand.

Kakashi had come up behind me then in the dying light of day and asked as he looked down on me if I was hurt. Completely incoherent, I had looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and said, “I just want to go home Daddy.”

Despite looking right at him I never saw the look of confused shock on his face as it flushed or registered the slight tremor that shook his body when I snuggled into his chest and neck when he picked up my bloody shell and cradled me against him.

I wouldn’t remember any of it ever. Not even when I woke up clear headed at the hospital forty-eight hours later after passing out in Kakashi’s arms as he carried me back. All I would sense is that something inside me had healed just a little bit, but I couldn’t figure out what or why.

Nor could I even conceive that it would have anything to do with the white haired ninja seeing that our history together was spotty at best. The first time Kakashi and I met was the first day I arrived in the leaf. We were in the Hokage’s office as I presented my theories and she accepted me as a student, though we hadn’t said a word to each other.

Every time after that was either a random occurrence or involved a mission we were both involved in. We never found ourselves in the same circle or at the same place doing the same thing ever outside of that, which helped dismiss the idea that we could ever be good together when the topic came up in conversation with Ino and Sakura who were hell bent on finding Kakashi a girlfriend for some strange reason.

When Ino asked me point blank one day while we were hanging out if I would ever date Kakashi, I nearly choked to death on the food I was eating.

“Jeez, so dramatic.” She said. “I never realized you had such an aversion to him.”

I shook my head slightly as I coughed and regained my breath. “It’s not that I’m adverse to him I’m just not sure we are compatible. Sure he is very attractive and yes his personality makes him cute and mysterious but he doesn’t seem interested in anything or anyone unless it’s his books or his work as a ninja.”

Grinning mischievously Ino rubbed her hands togetherness “That’s not a no.”

I rolled my eyes. “Stop Ino. He and I are two totally different people. We don’t even have the same interests and besides, I doubt he wants someone several years younger than him.”

“You don’t know that.” She gave an exaggerated smile.

“Please, Ino. Just leave the poor man alone.”

She pouted then. “You are no fun. You won’t let us set you up with anyone.”

“That’s right. If I want a boyfriend I will just find one myself.”

But I had lied. I did want a boyfriend, but I couldn’t find one myself. No matter how hard I had tried they all had come up short. I got that my friends were trying to help me, but I just wasn’t able to fall in love. None of the feelings and experiences felt genuine and none of them had loved me in the pure, honest, and affectionate way my father had.

So I remained single as a one hit wonder who was only able to get a first date half a dozen times but never went beyond that as the world around me found the happiness I seemed to be missing. 

Or at least that’s how I felt before my whole team was brutally attacked leaving mothers without husbands and kids without their precious parents and the trauma of losing my father hit me full force all over again. 

With only a few kisses from boys I never got to know to my name, one awkward grope and a bunch of empty promises behind me, I felt rather lonely and afraid. I had thought after all this time that once I became a medical ninja I would become stronger and feel more secure knowing I had the power to save lives so no one had to suffer what I did.

But that day my dream shattered and the only person there to pick me up was the last person I ever expected to take the time to piece me together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to show your enjoyment of my work outside of AO3 please visit https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ladyrhey and reference the top pinned post. Your support and love is always appreciated.


	2. The Mission

Though not a man of many words, it was extremely rare to render Kakashi completely speechless.

The night he had been sent out on an emergency mission to rescue and recover the group sent out to escort the man named Toshida Hanamora he had definitely not expected to be faced with a situation that would rock his emotional foundation.

When he had arrived on scene it was a blood bath. The injured and dying littered the ground everywhere except the spot where $Name sat balling hysterically as she held the body of the teams captain. Surrounded in a pinwheel of blood that splattered over her face it was impossible to know if the blood on her clothes was hers or just the captains.

Attempting to assess the situation he had walked up to her slowly and asked if she was hurt only to have drawn dead eyes whose crimson veins glistened with tears turn and look at him in abject desperation before the shell of a girl begged to be taken home by her Daddy.

He could tell her mind was broken, tell her soul had been torn to shreds and that something haunted her that was just as bad if not worse than what she had witnessed. What he couldn’t tell was if she saw him or the man she wanted him to be. And if she wanted him to be her daddy how did that make him feel?

Though he realized the entire train of thought wasn’t rational and that he should probably disregard it as words said in a moment of delirium, something about the way she nestled into him before she passed out suggested the words weren’t necessarily untrue.

When he picked her up she had stopped crying; her hand not tucked against his chest had immediately reached up and gently clasped his neck as her nose tucked under his chin. By the way her cheek moved against his chest he could tell she was smiling or at least content and the deep breaths she took were calm as if his very presence was enough to soothe the things that haunted her mind.

When he had brought her back to the village he had taken her directly to the hospital. Though a quick exam had gleaned she had only a few scratches and bruises to her name, she still needed to be checked and receive the rest her body needed.

When he went to place her down on the medical be, her face began to pinch and her mouth quivered as he tried to pull back once she was settled. She began to whimper as well, as tears came to her eyes.

“Unless you plan on sleeping the entire night with her we will probably have to give her gas so she will rest soundly.”

Looking up Kakashi met the gaze of the Hokage as he knelt down to ease the girls suffering at being separated from him against her will. No sooner had he lowered his top half to the mattress then she turned on her side in her sleep and curled herself against what parts of him she could; her hand coming to rest on his cheek as her breathing leveled.

Embarrassed by the compromising position, Kakashi flushed while the Hokage placed her hand at her lips and smiled behind it a moment before adding, “I will send someone in shortly. When she is stable come see me in my office. I need a full report.” 

It would take Kakashi more then several

minutes before the nurse came to relieve him, but during that time as he watched her sleep comforted merely by his presence, the seeds had been planted for him to realize he wanted nothing more than to have her cling to him, find warmth in him, and call him things that might not be appropriate in public.

When he was finally able to open the door to the Hokage’s office, Tsunade was leaning against her desk with a look that suggested she was rather proud of herself even if no one else was.

Stepping in and closing the door behind him, Kakashi came to stand a few feet in front of her.

“You know the first day she arrived I had the chance to see the two of you together and I have to say I held the smallest hope that maybe she would be someone who would interest you. It’s nice to see my silent encouragement didn’t go unanswered.”

Kakashi just gave her a bored face doing his best not to feed into her girlish taunting.

“She was quite pretty then all young and vibrant wanting to please, filled with passion. It would be a shame to let her whither especially since she seems to be rather attached to you.”

“She thought I was someone else. She was delirious and in shock.”

Shaking her head Taunade sighed. I’ve seen shock and trauma. That was something completely different. Somehow she’s been imprinted with a very powerful image of something that seemed to resonate with you. You shouldn’t brush that aside. Instead you should nurture it and help it to blossom into its full potential.”

Sighing as he rubbed the back of his head -a clear sign of being resigned to something he didn’t want to do- Kakashi’s reply was exasperated. “I take it that’s what you really want to talk about?”

“Partially, but I do still want that report. I need to understand where our information network failed and why we didn’t know who we were actually dealing with. The first part, though, does involve the girl or rather your primary mission since I know you will shirk it if you can. I want you to help the girl move past this experience and become the ninja I sense she can be. She has some amazing ideas and for the most part they are sound. I can’t afford to lose that talent.”

Kakashi remained silent, but Tsunade knew it wasn’t because he was trying to get out of what she had told him to do. It was actually a sign of ascent to have him not say anything because it meant on some level he had accepted the task that needed to be done, though she would watch how this particular task developed because something told her it was going to surprise Kakashi the most.

“With that settled why don’t you give me that report and you can…get back to more pressing matters.”

Kakashi just closed his eyes and crossed his arms. She wasn’t going to let this go and it was already annoying.


	3. Daddy Issues

“You know you can come in she’s awake.” The nurse on duty bringing $Name her food said to Kakashi who leaned against the wall outside her hospital room door.

Not opening his eyes or moving a muscle, the nurse just half smiled before opening the door and greeting the young woman.

“Good morning dear, how are you feeling?”

When she came in I had been sitting up and staring out the window with my knees tucked into my chest as my chin rested on my kneecaps; the sound of her greeting making me raise my head to look in the direction of her voice.

When our eyes locked, the nurses eyes went from cheerful to sad, the corners dropping slightly and her smile more strained as she watched my body acknowledged her but the soul inside remained cold.

“I’m fine, thank you ma’am.”

Eyes dull, hair limp, face drawn with dark circles I looked like the life had literally been sucked out of me.

Trying again, the nurse spoke quieter with a more soothing tone. “I brought your meal. Make sure to eat it and don’t let that bully outside keep you from eating.”

Confused at who she would be referring to I gave her a tired, curious glance. “Bully?”

The nurse gave me a wink and turned around making sure to flash a stern look Kakashi’s way as he entered the room, which he returned with his usual smile before walking past her towards his real destination.

Confused, the food temporarily forgotten, I turned my eyes to meet his and waited for him to settle in.

“I’m sorry if I came at a bad time. The Hokage wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A weak smile crossed my lips, “As good as I can be given what happened.” Unconsciously my fists clenched and my eyes began to glisten with a sheen of rising tears.

Not good with emotions and not sure what to say to young woman he didn’t really know, Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets. “What happened wasn’t your fault. The Hokage is investigating how the information we got about the mission was incorrect. Had we known what the real mission was sooner we never would have taken it let alone sent the team me did. You can’t take the results of that on yourself.”

Unable to keep my feelings in check, I bowed my head in an attempt to hide the tears that started to fall.

“I should have been able to save them. I should have…” I sniffled and the sobs started “…I should have been able to do something.”

Pursing his lips and sighing, Kakashi moved towards the bed and sat down next to me. There was no easy road back from what had been seen. Having watched his own friends die time and time again while he remained powerless to help, Kakashi knew first hand how difficult it was to come to terms with the burden of responsibility for a loved ones life.

Like a moth to a flame, however, all words of wisdom flew out the door for no sooner had he sat down then the crown of my head thunked into his chest;my hands coming up to clench the sides of his vest as tears fell onto his lap.

“Why. Tell me why. Please. I have to know. Why couldn’t I do anything. Why did I crack like that and why don't I remember anything clearly?”

Unable to answer in a way that would take away the pain, Kakashi raised a tentative hand to the back of my head and rubbed it there gently.

“$Name…”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, daddy. It wasn’t supposed to go his way. I was supposed to be like you. I was supposed to take care of everyone and instead I sat there and cried like a useless little girl.”

His heart broke for her desperation, her feelings of loss and the pain she carried that made her feel inadequate in comparison to the person she looked up to and had molded her life around; feelings he knew all too well.

Unsure of what to say to ease the pain, knowing first hand it wasn’t a burden anyone could take away, he placed the hand on my head on the side of my arm and rubbed up and down gently.

Eventually my tears slowly subsided and the sniffles stopped entirely but I didn’t raise my head from his chest. Instead I turned to place my cheek there, my hands releasing their death grip on his vest to tuck up against me as I leaned into him.

There was silence for several moments before I spoke again, “Daddy always said not to cry. That princesses don’t cry because they have better things to do. With him gone I’m just not that strong anymore. I try but it just feels like my shield against everything negative is gone leaving me to wade through the misery without my guiding light.”

I sighed then and pulled away, my eyes looking out the window as if searching for an answer I couldn’t find.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this. You didn’t come here to deal with an emotional train wreck. Did Lady Tsunade need something? I’m happy to provide what help I can.”

Momentarily rendered mute by the feeling of emptiness he felt when she pulled away, Kakashi said the first thing he could think of like an idiot. “She just wanted to know if you were alright.”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine. I do need to thank you though.” That’s when color rose to my pale cheeks. “Ino told me all about how you apparently swooped in and carried me here. You even…lay here with me until the doctors could give me gas because I was showing signs of distress in my sleep. She said it was just like some knight in a fairy tale. I told her she shouldn’t listen to hospital gossip, but if you really did do that I appreciate it. The only other man to take care of me like that was my daddy. He would always just swoop in and save me any time I was hurt; holding me in his arms and telling me I was his beautiful little princess and everything would be alright.”

I looked up at him then and gave him a light awkward laugh. “But you aren’t my daddy and it’s not your responsibility so thank you for stepping in anyway.” Torn by an indescribable sadness, I turned my eyes away to look at the food. “I hope you don’t mind if I eat. I haven’t really felt like it until just now.”

Able to only nod as he was taken aback by her words that had affected him on a visceral level he could not completely grasp, he stood and headed for the door. When he got there he half turned towards and managed to redeem himself slightly by saying, “Everyone, including the Hokage is glad you are ok.”

All I could do was swallow the bite I had just taken and smile up at him. “Thank you again for stopping by. Please let everyone know I’ll be fine and will be out of here most likely tomorrow.”

He nodded and turned to leave making sure to close the door behind him gently.

Though he had sensed her as soon as he arrived at the door, Lady Tsunade was quicker on the response then him. “You know damn well she isn’t alright, but since waking up you are the only one to have gotten her to eat even if it was just so she had something to do with her hands because she was too embarrassed.”

Kakashi sighed and looked at her sideways.

“Believe it or not that girl is tied to you now. You have a moral responsibility, even without the mission, to see this through…” then her lips came up to his ear “Daddy Kakashi.”

If Tsunade could have died in laughter at his bright red face and jump of surprise she would have. Especially when he growled, “You are the last person I want to hear that from.”

“I’m sure. Just make sure not to break her little heart in the process.” Then she brushed past him and took hold of the door before entering, leaving Kakashi to his emotional misfortune which she knew only this girl could lead him out of.


	4. Sagely Advice

It felt weird arriving home the next day from the hospital. It was like opening the door to a world of innocence that no longer existed. Though nothing here had changed I had, my outlook on life had and the room with its lilac colored walls, clean organized surfaces, small but perfectly round dining table for one, and smell of cedar so reminiscent of my father when he came back from a mission, that it reeked of someone trying too hard to hold their life together under a façade of picture perfect sanity.

Looking over the room, part of me marveled at how delusional I had let myself be and how much I had ignored the pain that had been sitting there since dad died. Trying to always be strong like he had said, I had spent a reasonable amount of time crying after his funeral before picking myself up, dusting myself off, and plastering that smile he loved so much on my face in case he was watching me from beyond.

But I knew better now. I knew I couldn’t be that little girl anymore and had to face the harsh realities that dad had tried so hard to shelter me from for so long. So I took one last look at the room and turned right back around. Things needed to change and it needed to happen now.

By the time I got back, the sun had started to set and there wasn’t enough light to even think about doing anything to move furniture or repaint the place so all those memories could be out to rest and new ones could be made. I would be twenty-five soon so I mind as well make a fresh start before then.

That same morning $Name was released to go home, Kakashi found himself in an unexpected conversation with Jiraiya.

Having run into each other, Kakashi leaving Tsunade’s office while Jiraiya was coming up the stairs, the white haired wolf soon found himself dragged off to a more remote area of the village for a little chat, where the view just so happened to also look out over the women’s bath from a very discreet distance for anyone not Jiraiya.

Looking out on the baths with his back turned, his voice was serious. “As a man with experience I have to say…” then he was by Kakashi’s side slapping his hand against his back “congratulations on becoming a Daddy!” Then he hangs his head in shame as he clasps Kakashi’s shoulder. “Though I have to admit I’m jealous. I’ve been trying to get the girls in town to call me that for as long as I can remember but they say I'm old enough to be their grandpa and it’s gross.”

His eyes start tearing and he sniffles once before standing up and pulling a book out of nowhere which he presses against Kakashi's chest.

“I’ve been saving this for a special occasion. Thought I would publish it on Valentine’s Day actually but here is an advanced copy.”

Kakashi takes it flustered and Jiraiya turns and heads back the way they had come. “Make sure to put it to good use!” He calls over his shoulder as he waves giving Kakashi no chance to defend himself or change his opinion.

Looking down, Kakashi reads the title. The Daddy In You and The Daddy In Her-Being The Father She Wants and The Daddy She Needs. His face felt on fire while his body felt strangely aroused though not enough to make him hard. Not having given much though to sex or love outside of the novels he read, Kakashi now felt his mind wandering to what it would be and feel like to have a woman want and need him the way the women in the books he read did.

Cursing Tsunade for telling that perv and cursing that perv for putting these thoughts in his head, Kakashi turned and walked back home to see at least what all the fuss was about or if it would be more trouble than it was worth in the end.

At the same time Kakashi made it home the sun had set and the first stars shone in the sky and a knock came at $Name’s door. Having just finished setting up what she would need to repaint and reorganize her living space tomorrow, she had some time on her hands and wasn’t really looking forward to going to bed just yet.

“Coming!” I yelled from the kitchen area as I grabbed herself a drink before opening the door to see Sakura and Ino grinning like idiots before pushing themselves inside.

“Sooooo…” Ino’s inquisitive voice teased. “I hear you had a visitor at the hospital yesterday. Were you planning on taking us?”

Rolling my eyes I tried not to blush; my reply fell awkwardly off my tongue. “There was nothing to tell. Kakashi just checked on me because the Hokage asked him to.”

The girls gave their do-you-think-I’m-an-idiot stares; their squinted eyes boring into me making me back away slightly.

“Even if that’s true, that doesn’t explain the nurse who overheard Lady Tsunade tease him about being called Daddy Kakashi.”

Taken completely by surprise and embarrassed, I spit my drink all over the place just barely missing my friends before coughing so much my face turned red.

Sakura squealed, “Does that mean you actually called him that!”

Still trying to catch my breath I shook my head wildly waving my hands in front of my face. “Absolutely not! Why would I call him…?”

That’s when it hit me and my face turned so red it was almost purple.

“$Name?” The two girls asked in unison suddenly worried.

“Oh my god. Please tell me he didn’t really think I meant…him when I said that.” The parts of my face that weren’t red were now pale as complete and utter embarrassment hit me as my mind recalled the conversation from yesterday.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” The two girls were suddenly in my face.

Begrudgingly I repeated what I said and the two girls cringed slightly.

“Well, I mean maybe he didn’t take it seriously.” Sakura tried to be reassuring with a descent measure of disbelief in her voice.

“Is that the first time you have said something like that?” Ino asked curious.

Scrunching up my face, my brow knit in worry, I thought back to the conversations they had had and couldn’t find another time I had left that particular element up in the air like that. “Yes, I think so. I don’t remember anything from the incident but no one has told me I said anything weird so I think this is the first.”

“Good.” Was Ino’s reply. I’d just play it off as something casual and not worth adding meaning to.” That’s when she smirked and looked accusingly at her friend. “That’s is unless you want him to be your Daddy?”

Unconsciously $Name’s legs pinched shut as her clit throbbed and she scrambled to reply. “Why would I want Kakashi as my Daddy? I want a real, normal boyfriend not some casual fuck buddy.”

That’s when Sakura crooned in jealousy, “But think about it. To have that body all to yourself pounding into you telling you you're a good girl, his good girl, or even better his princess, as he touches your body and pleasured you until you couldn't stand…” she groans “…that red eye looking up at you from between your legs as he…”

“OH MY GOD YOU GUYS GO HOME! Or better yet go get laid!” $Name corrals them together before shoving them towards the door.

“You are so lame $Name. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing about a gorgeous man calling you dirty names and treating you like a goddess which I bet money he would do.” Ino managed to get in before the two were shoved out my front door.

“Goodnight you two!” Then the door closed in their faces and all I heard was giggling and “Goodnight yourself.”


	5. XXX Rated Education

That night Kakashi didn’t sleep. From

The moment he went back to his place he had laid on the bed and read Jiraiya’s book cover to cover three times before heading out to the late night district to find him in person; an act that only took him fifteen minutes as there were only three places he could be.

When Kakashi entered the Blue Orchid and asked for Jiraiya he was taken upstairs to the most expensive suite where the man lay; his head in the lap of one topless woman as she fed him while two others massaged various parts of his body.

Already flushed and with a single focus Kakashi pulled him aside and spoke briefly to him before leaving with a key Jiraiya kept safely tied to a strand of hair at the base of his neck.

Ignoring the crude comments and drunken jests, Kakashi raced to Jiraiya’s place before opening the ninja’s porn cabinet and selecting the first of many tapes. Popping the one titled Sex With My Little Pt 1 Kakashi watched and studied what it would take to create a DD/lg dynamic with a woman, especially one several years younger.

Knowing full well Jiraiya’s stories were all his fantasies and sexual escapades, it was vital for Kakashi to have an educational background to build upon, especially since he didn’t understand if the word Daddy was turning him on, if $Name was turning him on, or if he just wanted someone to dominate having been trained to acquire information in such a way.

Sitting on the floor cross legged, Kakashi hit play ready to establish the answers.

The first thing any new Daddy or Dom should always do is set his SMART goals. Make sure if you go the Daddy route that your goals are centered around the concept of maintaining a nurturing environment.

Once these goals have been established you need to figure out if you are a good girl/boy sub, a bratty sub, or a combo. Since new Daddy’s need to learn how to be both Dom and Sub, understanding the sexual limitations and preferences of both is crucial.

This and every tape he watched Kakashi drank in with unparalleled interest, not realizing there was so much emotional value to creating a relationship such as this. With each second he watched he felt he got closer to both his own sense of loss and his unspoken need to be a provider and protector; two elements he would build on as he created himself as the Daddy he wanted to try to be.

When the sun came up the next morning he felt he had a good baseline for his own limits as well as his own desires, at least those related to his own sexual gratification. What he still didn’t know was how to convince $Name that he had feelings for her and he was serious about finding a way to make it work without demeaning or negating her healing process.

Having gone through several of the tapes, Kakashi had realized that the one thing that constantly came to mind was the image of her desperate and crying both in the field and in the hospital as her eyes and heart searched him to find a man she was desperately searching for. Calling out Daddy had just been a trigger that set in motion his desires making her the catalyst for his own sexual and emotional maturation. What had been the clincher was the sense of security she seemed to find only in him and he needed to figure out if it was just in his imagination or if she had an innate desire to be with him and submit to him; finding solace in him in ways she couldn’t achieve elsewhere.

When Jiraiya finally stumbled back to his pad and passed out on the bed Kakashi had locked up the cabinet and left the key on the table with a roughly scrawled thank you on a scrap piece of paper. There was still so much to do and if he didn’t hurry Kakashi felt he would lose the chance, and her, in the same shot.

Once back out in the streets Kakashi realized he had no idea where $Name might be. Not knowing anything about her except where she lived, the only relevant hard information he could glean from her file, he had no idea where to start looking or even what you might like that could give him some clues as to where you might be.

After wandering the town from sun up to noon he was rather astonished to come across her by accident right across from the Blue Orchid sitting down and eating while she held a drink, which he guessed was coffee, in her hand.

At that moment all his research and all his ideas just seemed to vanish as he stood there undetected watching her do the most mundane of things. She looked slightly agitated by the pinch of her brow and the intense way she was chewing as if she was trying to digest something mentally and physically but only managing to sate one need.

Impressed with how efficiently she finished and how courteous she was about throwing away her trash and thanking the vendor, he felt drawn in to the nuances of her nature that he never purposefully noticed on others.

Unfortunately, she seemed ready to leave and not wanting to scare her should he continue to follow her like he wanted, he decided to engage her so as not to lose the chance.

“Yo. Going somewhere?”

He had tried to give a greeting like he would give anyone else so he didn’t make her uncomfortable, but the tensing of her body and the look of uncomfortable surprise on her face told him she was indeed uncomfortable.

“Just out trying to clear my head. You?” The words were forced, the tone slightly guarded, her posture suggested she wanted to run all signs this had not been a good gamble on his part.

Knowing he had to respond but couldn’t say exactly where he had been he said the most neutral and believable thing he could. “On my way back from the training grounds.”

Her face changed then and it made his chest clench as her features relaxed and her voice became more engaging as if he had opened the door to a safe space that allowed her to feel comfortable.

“I could never get up that early to train. Dad tried to drag me out but…”

Then it all came crashing down as her face went red and a look of absolute horror and embarrassment flashed in the cinema that played behind her eyes. He could see her scrambling mentally to back track as if she wanted to take it back but knew she couldn’t. In truth just the mention of the word dad from her lips had caused a ripple of arousal to course over his body, but he could tell something in that phrase had triggered something she had not come to terms with.

At that moment he wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her and provide some kind of assurance, but he didn’t know how to touch her that wouldn’t make it worse.

Then the opportunity slipped away.

“Yeah, you know…I gotta get back. I …think I left the kettle on.”

Then she turned and fled, leaving him to watch in silence wondering what had gone wrong and what he could do to change it.


	6. Don’t Make It Weird

Don't make it weird.

After getting up and dressing I slapped my cheeks at the same time with my palms before heading downstairs to start breakfast. I had a big day ahead of me if I was going to complete this remodel and the last thing I needed was to be mentally side tracked thinking about something that wasn't even a thing.

Giving myself one last deep sigh to clear my head, I turned and headed downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee. Though a normal action, it was one of the few that didn't bring painful memories. Having acquired a taste for the dark colored brew after becoming a student of Tsunade's, it had now become an integral start to my day. Setting my mind both at ease and making me think clearer as I went through the same motions every time I made a cup or pot, I now felt off if I didn't do it as party of my daily routine.

Stepping into the are that held the small kitchenette, I grabbed a cup, portable filter, grinds and measuring cup before setting it all out on the counter and opening the lid. Scooping up two mountains of grounds, I poured them into the filter that rested on the mug before closing the lid and placing both items in their respective home.

With that settled, I took hold of the mugs handle and turned on the water letting the running water become hot before placeing it under the faucet. Adjusting the waters flow so the water didn't overflow the filter at the top, it took only a minute and a half to get the water the correct height to cover the grounds and let them soak while leaving enough room for cream and sugar.

Letting the mug sit, I pulled out the cream and sugar from their respective places while grabbing an extra spoon to stir it with. When the grounds had steeped enough, I pulled them out and took them to the trash before upturning the filter and pitching the used grounds into it; the filter getting washed and placed back on its hook above the sink.

Adding the cream and sugar took seconds; the stirring of the two a secret pleasure that normally was hypnotic and tuned me in to my surroundings elevating a calm a few moments before I would raise and tap the spoon on the edge of the mug releasing me from the spell.

Today though, unexpected thoughts flashed across my mind. Seconds after the spoon began its first rotation Kakashi's arms were around me; his muscular chest pressed against my back as his arms cradled me in his overwhelming warmth and kindness. His lips then brushed against my ear as he seductively asked, "Did you make a cup for Daddy?"

The clattering of the mug as my hands released it and it tumbled into the sink broke me from my trance; my eyes half open and my breathing heavy as I leaned against the counter in front of the sink.

"Fuck." Was all I could say, my coffee forgotten since somehow it had all ended up in the sink.

Despite it being just a daydream, the perceived feel of him against me was so real it made it seem like if I had felt it before in the same way. And that voice. Biting my lip I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Just thinking about him saying that in my ear set me on fire and put me in a light headed state that when I came down I was most definitely ashamed as I had never had a single sexual encounter or even dreamed of having a kink up until this point. 

“Daddy.” My voice was slightly breathy as I said it and I could feel heat traveling to various parts of my body that it was too early to pay attention to. Unable to focus or catch my breath, I decided the best thing to do was remove myself from the area and gain a fresh perspective. Grabbing my money, I headed out the door not even caring how I looked.

Having lost the opportunity to start my day off in a typical way, I stopped by the local vendor and bought a cup with something to eat. Being wary enough most people weren’t out and about, I was able to snag a bench off to the side of the stand and attempt to reclaim my morning.

It had been a while since I had ventured out first thing in the morning without it having to do with a mission so I had forgotten how light hearted the village was as the sun created the sky.

Time slipped easily by and I soon found myself in the beginnings of the early afternoon rush as food stalls and other stores opened or prepared for the lunch rush.

Suddenly anxious to turn over that new leaf I rise and discard my trash before turning back to head home. 

“You. Going somewhere?”

Though the tone is different the voice is still the same as the one that seduced me in the kitchen causing such intense shivers to run up my spine that I almost trip.

Gathering myself in an awkward spin. I face Kakashi who looks at me with the same bored expression he always has.

“Just out trying to clear my head. You?” Kicking myself for instigating a conversation I just keep saying in my head “Don’t make it weird. Don’t make it weird.” but my voice is strained and it is obvious I want to be anywhere but here.

“On my way back from the training grounds.”

Momentarily impressed but not surprised that he would be up early training, I kept the conversation going. “I could never get up that early to train. Dad tried to drag me out but…” My face went red then as my brain caught up with my mouth.

Why the fuck did I have to go and say that?

My eyes looked anywhere but at him as I said, “Yeah, you know…I gotta get back. I …think I left the kettle on.”

It was a lie.

I had made it weird.

Did it really matter? It wasn’t like it was anything but a fleeting fantasy. I just needed to reset my living space and get back to training so I had no time to think or stupid stuff.

Turning quickly without even saying goodbye, I set off at a jog back home. The blank stare of Kakashi’s following me until I was out of sight. 


	7. Intervention

With suddenly more energy than I knew what to do with, I began rapidly moving furniture to the center of the room with a god-like strength that stemmed from my embarrassment when I got back home.

Unable to shake the feeling of Kakashi’s eyes on me as I ran back or the thought of him training not entirely clothed -his obscenely gorgeous body slick with sweet as I watched him breathe heavily- spurred me on as I tried to exhaust myself enough to stop thinking entirely.

When the bed, television, small dining table, coffee table, plant, book shelf, and dresser had been moved I collapsed onto the bed and focused on my heavy breathing until I was no longer light headed.

With my breathing mostly stabilized, I rose to set up the painting equipment, making sure to cover the floor and tape the cabinets so no paint fell where I didn’t want it. When everything was set I looked around for something to open the paint lid with when a knock came at the door.

Slightly trepidatious that Kakashi might have followed me to my home and would see me in this chaotic state, I opened the door cautiously.

“Hello $Name. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course!” Opening the door without thinking, I turned bright pink as soon as Lady Tsunade’s eyes got wide. “Sorry ma’am I’m doing some painting and rearranging. Thought now was a good time to redecorate since my birthday comes up in a few weeks and I want to get a fresh start on life after everything that happened.”

She smiled hiding the cogs that were turning in the back of her mind. “I think that is a very good idea. I am happy to see you are bouncing back nicely. On that subject though I would like to discuss something else with you.”

“Absolutely ma’am. Let me get you a chair.”

Taking my shoulder gently but firmly she stops me before I even move.

“That won’t be necessary. Just relax and hear me out.”

I nod.

“Now, I’m sorry if some of this embarrasses you but I am speaking from a medical perspective. I want to make that clear.”

I nod and begin to fidget with the hem of my shirt.

“Despite your tenacity and given the information we have found regarding the attack you were a victim of, and my concern over your mental health, I think it would be in your best interest to train with me part of the time and Kakashi the rest of the time.”

My body went rigid at the mention of his name, my eyes going wide as my brain started whizzing so fast smoke should have come out of my ears.

“I say this because whether you have picked up on it or not you seem to have developed a very unique trust in Kakashi that stemmed from his rescue of you and subsequent care of you after you arrived at the hospital. That trust will be essential to you gaining confidence as you develop your skills in the way you proposed when you first came.”

I swallow and my palms sweat.

“I trust Kakashi completely to ensure you develop appropriately and effectively in my stead since the time you and I spend will be focused only on your healing skills due to other matters preventing me from training you beyond that. Does that seem acceptable to you?”

My mouth feels dry and my voice cracks in response. “Yes, ma’am.

“Good. You will begin first thing tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you in the evening.”

She smiles and then sees herself out; the door remaining open as my body refuses to move.

Me training with Kakashi? How the hell am I going to do that! I can barely talk to him in the streets now. Groaning inwardly I force myself to move. I still have a room to paint and dinner to make. Besides, if I don’t tell Ino and Sakura about all this they will just come beat down my door and harass me once they find out.

Resigning myself to my fate, I close the door, get a knife from the cabinet and finagle the top of the can open; the beautiful red colored paint soothing me much the same way looking into Kakashi’s eye did at the hospital. 

——————

Back at her office, Tsunade educated Kakashi on her plan and what she expected. Having been given the report from the hospital stating that $Name had shown increased amounts of cortisol and norepinephrine when confronted with certain stressors during her exit exam, it had been suggested that some form of PTSD may have either arisen or been exasperated given the nature of her original response upon Kakashi collecting her. Should this be the case she would need to undergo some type of counseling if not at least rehabilitation if she were to be considered for further missions.

“Due to the results I got back from the hospital and with careful consideration I have informed $Name personally that you will be training her in the morning for everything not medical related while I will do the rest a few hours every evening. I expect to see results by the twenty-fifth of this month or there will be hell to pay do I make myself clear.”

Kakashi just sighs.

“I’m not playing around and I’m not just referring to her ninja skills when I say that, Daddy.”

Kakashi looks at her, arms crossed, and glares.

“Glare all you want. Jiraiya told me he let you see his temple of porn. There is absolutely no reason you can’t figure out a way to make a move between now and then. It’s clear by the way you react when I call you that there is some interest there. Act on it while you are still young. Besides, on a more serious note, I don’t think she can go back to being a ninja without your help. The psychological damage seems too great. I can’t have her caving during another mission.”

“I get it.” His reply is simple.

“Good. You start tomorrow morning first thing and don’t you dare be late. I refuse to have you waste my time.”

Kakashi rolls his eyes then disappeared; a wicked smile crossing Tsunade’s lips in his wake. For as loyal as he had been and as essential of a ninja as he was, the man deserved some happiness in his life. Sure he liked porn but so did Jiraiya and that man was happy enough for everyone despite everything he had seen and done.

“You two still have time. Don’t let it fade away like us old folk have.”


	8. Boundaries, Punishment and After Care: the Prequel

My life was so much simpler before Kakashi invaded it causing me to think of things and fantasize about things I had accepted would only enter my life once I got married.

When my alarm went off at 5:30 A.M. I was caught in a lucid state where I was half dreaming about Kakashi pinning me down with a “fatal blow” whose heavy petting session was cut short.

Groaning when the blaring sound went off, I slapped it across the room where it slammed into something causing smaller clattering sounds as parts came dislodged.

“Fucking hell.”

Rubbing my eyes with my fingers, I sighed contemplating curling back up and blowing the whole thing off. Turning my head I close my eyes and seriously consider the thought, laughing at first at the idea of Kakashi getting stood up except then he comes to find me and comes into my room and sees me curled up naked in bed and…

“NOPE! Nope nope nope!”

Suddenly quite motivated, I jump out of bed and dress, throwing myself together before running out the door. There is no way in hell I ever want to give him a reason to come collect me at home. In fact, I want him as far away from my home as I can keep him.

Dodging crowds I race towards the training grounds ready to get this over with when my stomach growls.

Slowing to a stop, I look around for anything quick. There is no way he will be on time anyway so grabbing something fast won’t hurt. When a stall selling candies apples without the core comes into view I jog over and buy two before popping slices into my mouth as I speed walk the rest of the way.

When I arrive at the grounds, I realize I have made a grave error. Seated atop one of the training pylons staring down the path with no book in sight is Kakashi.

Swallowing hard, I walk towards him and give a casual greeting.

“Hey. Honestly I assumed you would be late and since I didn’t get much sleep last night I slept in and almost didn’t eat. I would have been a mess if…”

Not breaking eyes contact, Kakashi lifts his hand and does a come hither motion with his upturned finger without uttering a single word.

Not sure if I should be terrified or laugh, my food still in hand, I come to stand a foot away from him where he stands and we stare at each other uncomfortably, at least for me.

I can feel my skin starting to quiver under his gaze. If I was a dog I would have flattened my ears in submission and rolled over, his gaze was that intense.

When I finally couldn’t handle it anymore I thought about breaking the silence when he interrupts me.

Bending down he reaches out, never braking eye contact the whole tome, to take my hand and bring the piece within it to his mouth. With the apple within reach he takes it from my fingers gently with his lips pulling it into his mouth and chews slowly, the hold on my hand remaining until he places it back into the container with the rest of the pieces and rests it on top of another piece.

Stunned, embarrassed and on auto pilot-my face growing redder by the second but my eyes unable to look away-I pick up another piece which he brings to his mouth and takes delicately from my hand once again.

This continues until all the pieces are gone and he has finished eating; my hand being placed back at my side.

I’m not sure how my heart didn’t explode beating out of my chest so hard, but the act of feeding him, of his mouth delicately taking the food as he looked down at me from atop the pylon over and over had me so weak in the knees they actively trembled.

Finally his voice filled the silence while his eye stayed locked on mine.

“I expect you here before the sun rises. If you are not here I will punish you and it will be up to me what that punishment is and when I give it to you. The only thing you will know about it is it will not compromise your integrity nor jeopardize your health.”

Here he pauses for effect and I nod without thinking.

“Today, since it was more important to eat then arriving on time, I have taken the liberty of eating the rest of your breakfast.”

Then he gives that obnoxious smile. “Make sure you don’t do it again unless you want me to punish you more.”

If he hadn’t been smiling when he said it I would have melted right there; my legs collapsing underneath me so I looked like he was punishing me for real during something much less innocent than this. Instead I just felt like a child being scolded for bad behavior and it made me feel anxious.

Giving him a stern look I blurted out, “Im not a little girl needing to be punished by Daddy. I said I was sorry.”

He stopped smiling then as he hopped off the pylon and walked up to me. When he was breaths away he leaned in so his lips were at my ear and said. “By the time we are done you are going to beg for me to be your Daddy because I bet he was nicer than what I have in store for you.”

Then he backs up and walks toward the tree to the right where a stash of gear has been laid.

“We are behind schedule. Since I can tell you ran here you have already warmed up. Put those weights on your ankles and give me one hundred on the pylon with each leg.”

He then lays down and closes his eyes waiting to see what I will do. 

Not understanding what this has to do with anything, I begrudgingly walk to the tree and do as he says before standing in front of the pylon and taking a deep breath.

“One…”

My leg thwacks against the wood.

“Two…”

Thwack.

“Three…”

By the end of our time I could barely walk. Having never had to do this strenuous of training, I lurch to the tree and collapse before removing the weights.

The first one hundred had been too easy so he had me add more weight. When I had completed that, he had me stand on top of the pylon and dodge his attacks without falling off; my legs aching and my balance skewed.

All I could do now was sit there and wait for him to say we were done before trying to figure out how I would get home and rest enough to train with the Hokage later that day.

“Good start but you have a long way to go. You can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself which means your body has to be strong enough for more than you.” He said as he came to kneel in front of me.

Unable to move to resist, I did nothing but watch as he reached out and took my right leg tenderly holding the ankle as he raised the leg of my pants up to my knee to examine my shins. I’m not sure why I thought his hands would be cold but I sighed and leaned back enjoying the warmth of his hands against the soreness and tenderness in my legs; his hands deftly running over the places that had come into contact with the board.

“Seems to just be deep bruising. Do you think you can walk?” 

Nodding but not saying anything, I brace against the ground and then try to stand but just end up stumbling forward before being caught in his arms against his chest.

Blushing uncontrollably I try to pull backwards but he somehow gathers me into a princess carry before escorting me via rooftop to my door.

Setting me down at my front door step one story above the street, he makes sure I am stable before removing his hands.

“Make sure to ice those before you see the Hokage. I don’t want to be lectured for not taking care of you when you were then one that didn’t listen.”

That’s when he reaches up and ruffles my hair before disappearing leaving me confused by both his reaction and the sudden loss of warmth he had provided that felt like it seeped through my clothes and into my skin to warm me from the inside out.


	9. An Infinite Sky

Kakashi had gotten an earful that night about putting $Name in a state where she could barely walk without looking like she was as stiff as a grandma. 

He had told Tsunade the same thing he told $Name, that if her body wasn’t strong enough she couldn’t expect to support anyone else let alone herself. The Hokage just reamed him out more, but he could tell she was more concerned than mad. Despite that it was still annoying.

Besides, he wouldn’t have had to be so rough if she hadn’t have pushed his buttons. Simply relaying the scene in his mind made his body shiver slightly at the thought of having her test him like that and to have to put her in her place. If it hadn’t been for his extensive training in coercion and discipline he would have forced her into submission instead of providing her the option to save herself while still maintaining the upper hand. Her hair tightly gripped in his hand, her forced to her knees with her head craned so she had to look at him from waist level with those defiant eyes and her lips so close to…

Flushed and feeling the heat in more than just his face, Kakashi dragged his mind back. Nurturing. He had to stay nurturing; an element that was actually quite easy in regards to her given how they had officially met, but that challenging little bratty side got right under his skin and made him want to break the rules.

Smiling slightly he remembered the look on her face as he forced her to feed him. Her pupils had rapidly dilated and eyes gone wide while her face flushed; locking on his as if drinking in the nuances she must be imagining.

There was something there hidden in her eyes of that he was almost positive. Problem was were they cute feelings she kept hidden or did they burn deep within her core? And if they ran deep did they involve him or were they just something she craved without needing a specific person attached to them? Immediately irritated by the thought, he scowled.

Needing a change of scenery he began walking through the town as thoughts of $Name during their training continued to play across his mind. Having kept it strictly professional after putting her on the spot when he ate her food from her hand, he begrudgingly accepted it was best to take things slow especially since these emotions weren’t really anything he had allowed himself the luxury to feel and he needed time to come to terms with the elements he was trying not to think about; the idea that he would lose her if he wasn’t careful.

Knowing most of what he had studied required there to be some type of formal intimate relationship and in truth wanting her to be the one to admit to him how she felt instead of him telling her, Kakashi found himself at an impasse.

To him there was something so much more arousing about her admitting her feelings and submitting to him and his affections. Having come to the conclusion that he was intimately attracted to her courtesy of some misplaced words and perfectly timed scenarios bringing to light a womanly appeal he was not used to being drawn to, he now struggled with figuring out how to get from step one to step three without omitting two and trying to stampede towards the clitoris so to speak.

Blocking that image out as he felt himself flush at the thought, Kakashi stopped and looked up at the night sky. With its dazzling lights it was easy to gain the perspective that there were a million ways to get to one place and no two ways gave the same outcome or reached the same conclusion.

Having thought about it incessantly that night he had pulled an all-nighter watching porn, Kakashi had realized there was a fine line between the control he had and the control she took from him. The control he had, put her in a awkward or unique space where she was unsure of the correct course of action and was forced to receive what he gave instead of thinking independently.

The control she took involved the way she responded that touched on a nerve, desire or hot button that Kakashi hadn’t realized he had, hadn’t gotten full control over in that situation, or lost the will to resist against due to a moment of weakness.

And after today he was forced to accept he would have to be diligent if he wanted to stay in complete control because he knew and felt it all rode on a hair trigger.

Opening his eyes and dropping his head, Kakashi continued walking as he looked forward but his mind looked inward; his steps carrying him automatically without him even realizing where he was going. He must have walked that way for an hour as his mind got lost in various thoughts of $Name and his feelings as he watched over and over her reaction in his mind until a voice called him out of his trance.

“Kakashi?”

The world slammed into focus as he raised his head to suddenly see the very person he was thinking about as she descended the outside stairs to her home with a trash bag in hand.

“Why are you here? Did you need something?”

Still on autopilot he said, “Yo” with a brief wave before honing in on the predicament he found himself in. Thinking quickly he gave only the relevant reason he could easily explain.

“I just came back from meeting the Hokage and thought I should stop by to check on you. She gave me quite a lecture on my methods today. Seems she feels I was too rough.” His eyes glanced down to $Name’s legs. The redness and scratches were gone as well as the swelling. “By the look of things it seems like you got all patched up though.”

He smiled then as he put his hands in his pants pockets. “I’ll see you first thing tomorrow.” He turned then and headed back the way he came but only made it a few steps when her voice called him to a stop.

“Sensei?”

He stopped dead and went rigid, the implication of that word grating on his skin like sandpaper. The way it dismissed the dynamic he wanted to cultivate and turned it into something more innocent and digestible leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.”

Turning his head slightly as he looked back at her he waited.

“I’m…I’m sorry Lady Tsunade gave you a hard time. I told her I was fine and that you had been hard but not cruel. You had only pushed me far enough to force me to reassess my pride without breaking my spirit or my determination. I had thought she had left it at that. I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.”

Sighing, his heart suddenly gripped by her consideration, he waved it off. “It’s fine. She’s just concerned about your well being and wants to make sure I don’t overdo it even though she knows I won’t.” Turning forward he began walking again. “Try to get some sleep. I won’t go easy on you if you are late or tired.”

Her eyes were a comforting presence on his back as he walked away, not looking back, giving him reassurance that despite being conflicted, she was hard pressed to watch him walk away without some feeling of guilt or emptiness. It even made him walk a little slower as he came up on the bend in the road that would lead to his pad; his body wanting her gaze to always be on him but his mind knowing she can’t miss something that never goes away.

When he finally got home he sat on the edge of his bed before collapsing backwards. Emotionally exhausted from his lecture from Tsunade and slightly charged from his and $Name’s interaction, he was a discomforting balance of tired and restless. Turning his eyes to the bedside table, he picked up the book Jiraiya gave him to read yet again.

It was never too late to learn something new from something you had already done. The key was perspective and the outcome was application because just like the many stars in the sky, no two ways of looking at something ended with the exact same conclusion. And right now his sky was infinite. 


	10. Color Theory

By day three of training I had begun to lose feeling in my legs from the hip down. Sure I knew I had legs and yes I could walk, but the continuous abuse and repeat healing of my shins and thighs as well as the muscles around them created a calcification and hardening of the shins that caused a deadening of the nerves to pain.

Between the repeat micro fractures and the rebuilding of bone and muscle, I was cutting my strengthening in almost half. Sure I also had to use a manageable version of shadow clone that allowed me to summon up to twelve versions of myself for as long as it took to execute 1000 kicks per twenty minute break, but I still progressed at a steady pace despite feeing completely exhausted when I was done.

Which is why I was also powerless against the invasion of my personal space my adoring friends seemed to feel they could exploit.

Having not seen my pad since I repainted, Ino and Sakura should have been surprised. Instead, I was the one taken aback by their reaction.

“Seriously $Name? When you said you repainted in a striking new color I hadn’t anticipated you would choose that color. Could you be anymore obvious?” Ino’s unamused eyes stared at me like I was the biggest idiot.

“You have to admit though, Ino, it is a striking color. On the wrong day it would give me chills.” Sakura chimes in slightly more supportive.

“First you barge in and then you insult my paint job. Some friends you are.” I stick my tongue out at Ino childishly too worn out to care I was being immature.

“Yeah well if you weren’t such an idiot.”

“How am I an idiot? I happen to like this color a lot. It’s very calming.” I pout.

“Gee I can’t imagine why. Can you Sakura?”

Smiling widely and laughing awkwardly, Sakura tries to remain neutral. “Well, it could remind her of something in her past from before she came the the leaf village. It also really does brighten up the room and I am sure the sun setting through the window is beautiful.”

“Don’t be dense you flat chested ape! You know damn well what I’m talking about!”

Glaring at Ino, Sakura readies an insult back but I cut them off. “Enough you two! If you are just gonna fight then leave. You are giving me a headache.” I plop down on my bed that I had been sitting on the edge of and cover my eyes with my forearm.

Ino sighs. “Do you really not see what I’m talking about?”

My eyes still covered I shake my head back and forth once. “Not a clue. I just went to the store and grabbed some paint. I picked this because it was a vibrant color that wasn’t too dark but still carried jewel tones making the room seem brighter without really trying. I mean I was on the fence in the beginning but the more I painted the more I wanted to be surrounded by this color. It was captivating and made me feel warm and safe.” I shrug my shoulders and leave it at that.

“Well at least we know that once you see what we see things should progress smoothly.” Ino stands then and heads to the door; Sakura taking the hint and following behind. “Just know you have our support.” She turns and smiles.

“Thanks? I still have no idea what you are talking about though.” My confusion clear on my face.

“I know you don’t. That’s part of why we love you so much. Your innocence is so refreshing at the same time it can be just so incredibly irritating. I’m sure that’s why others love you too. Just, do yourself a favor and really LOOK at the color you picked and think about what that color means to you before the chance to really touch on something special passes you by.” She waved then, before grabbing Sakura’s hand and walking out the door.

Turning, I walk to the center of my room and look at the walls that surround me. Though not a color everyone enjoys, it really had livened up the room in subtle ways. It seemed to absorb light instead of dilute it making the entire room warm without even meaning to. It made the dull earth tones pop bringing a sense that the room was a living, breathing environment instead of a dead cold place of rest.

The longer I looked, the more I was forced to also acknowledge a feeling of longing. Like being here surrounded in this color made me want something or want to exist near something I couldn’t pin point but felt close to just by being here.

Thinking back on the last few nights I also noticed that despite being exhausted I had woken up rested and refreshed, like being in the room now calmed my restless nights and gave me a peace I had been missing since my father died.

Walking to the closest wall, I reached out and touched the paint as if wanting to feel the pulse behind the color that had permeated my very existence without me really realizing how much or why. Running my fingers lightly over the surface, I smiled softly. Firm but smooth, the texture brought an image of my father but as I looked for ways to attribute the color to him I became more and more sure that the feelings I was having were residual memories of ones we he experienced but didn’t fit with the color as it surrounded me now.

Opening up my palm, wanting to feel more and dig deeper, I ran the entire length of my hand over the wall; my mind begging for the answer but my heart keeping it just out of reach.

More. I needed more. Placing my other hand on the wall in the same fashion, I ran them both quickly but gently over its surface; my eyes closing and engrossed in the feel of the color and the pulse of the room as I tried to force the images and feelings to the surface that would provide the answer.

Breathing deep and slightly heavy I was caught completely off guard by the presence entering the room.

“$Name? What are you doing?”

My eyes shoot open and my head turned towards the voice; my mind recognizing I was on the brink of an epiphany while my hands stayed plastered to the wall. Though I knew it was Kakashi before I even turned, the impact of his presence and my awareness of him and I didn’t hit until my eyes locked on his, and more specifically his red one.

That’s when the light bulb exploded and my heart began to beat so fast it felt like it would break through my chest. It was his eye. The color I chose matched his beautiful red eye. My mind began racing at that point desperately trying to remember when I would have seen it and drawing a blank. My confusion must have shown because Kakashi’s voice broke the silence again.

“$Name? Are you alright?”

Jolting back to reality I stumbled out a series of incoherent thoughts. “I was looking for you!” My mind catching up a fraction to late to my mouths declaration I blushed profusely and tried to recover. “I mean, I was looking for a stud.” That comment not making it better I groaned and ranted out the rest. “I mean, I was trying to hang a painting and I was looking for a stud but then you came in and now this.”

Frustrated, embarrassed, still being pulled by a longing I was no closer to understanding but at least had a point of origin for, I turned and faced the wall; my hand running over the surface unable to glean the same comfort I had acquired before.

“Is that so? Ino and Sakura had said you were in distress over something but weren’t specific. All they said was you needed my help so I came and when I saw you, you looked possessed so I was prepared to fight off whatever had you but it seems you were just really focused.”

Seemingly nonplussed, a fact that stung for more reasons I couldn't explain entirely, I dropped my head and mumbled. “You could say that.”

Continuing to give no inkling that he had heard or had any feelings about what I said, he continued on as if nothing had happened. “Still, if you need help I mind as well help you while I’m here.”

Each step he made towards me made my breath catch in my lungs. Each inch closer caused an electric current to vibrate over my flesh. It was painful and exhilarating at the same time and only made the longing worse which frustrated me even more. Then he came to stand behind me -our bodies barely separated as he planted a hand to the right on mine on the wall before placing his left knuckle to the wall- before rapping once.

“Hmmm.” Was all he said but it was enough to send shivers down my spine as my mind traveled to indecent images of him whispering it in my ear as I sat on his lap.

Tapping a few more times he finally found a spot that made a dull knock instead of a hollow one.

“That’s the spot. Now you have to reach into my tool bag and grab something to mark the wall with while I hold the spot here with my finger.”

I bit my lip painfully hard but not enough to draw blood. If I reached back without looking I might grab something I shouldn’t. If I look behind me for guidance my ass might bump into something it shouldn’t. That left only one option.

Sliding down the wall, I pivot on my toes before rotating one hundred and eighty degrees so my face is now almost eye level with his pelvis. Swallowing heavily, I lock my eyes on his left thigh where his pouch is before reaching out with one hand to slide under the flap; my legs slightly scissored in between one of his and the outside of the other.

Fumbling around a few seconds I found a shuriken. Testing the tip with the pad of my finger I pull it out and hold it in front of me. For a handful of seconds I’m conflicted. Do I hand it up? Do I turn back around and rise so I can mark it myself? Do I slide up the wall and face him; my eyes getting lost in his until I can’t think straight and god only knows what happens?

Opting for the safest route, I pivot back around and rise before placing the tip of the star in the wall and drawing a line down; the wall now looking just like the scar above and below his beautiful red eye.

Once marked neither I nor him move for several seconds. His hands still planted where they are and one of mine clenched at my side while the other presses into the shuriken. Acknowledging that I don’t want him to move but not knowing what to do about the feelings I am having, I decide to turn slowly and face him.

As soon as I do and my eyes lock on his red one my breathing becomes heavier and the feeling of longing intensify making me want to reach out and touch his face; my fingers delicately tracing his eye as I stare at him.

And without realizing it I am; an action I am only made aware of when his hand reaches up as if to take mine but instead pulls on the edge of his bandana so it covers over his eye.

“Sorry, guess that was upsetting you. I wasn’t using it on you. I honestly had forgotten I had uncovered it.”

The distress on my face must have been evident, but was clearly mistaken. He pulled away then and I visibly shivered more from the cold my body now felt with his heat no longer there sustaining me than anything else. Unable to find the words as his back turned and he headed for the door, I watched in agony as he got farther and farther from me.

When his hand was on the knob of the door, my mouth opened in a strangled attempt to recall his presence, but once again he cut through my intent as if it were a kunai penetrating through flesh.

"I'm glad I could help. It was actually nice to see a weaker side of you. A side that was willing to accept what someone was offering instead of being met with this bold determination everyone else has to overcome. If you need anything else just let me know. If nothing else, it keeps the Hokage from harassing me about being heartless with how I treat you."

Then the door closed and he was gone; the red rose color of the walls a heavy reminder of the eyes that no longer watched me and the opportunity I had let pass by.


	11. Intangible Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who waited -and in some cases continue to wait- patiently for me to update. A lot has gone on. I’ve changed jobs and now work 45 hours a week, both of my parents have been in and out of surgery (just found out dad is back in with another nasty infection in his knee-he has had 4 surgeries and 3 replacements) and a handful of other messy pieces of business has gone on. I haven’t abandoned my stories, I just don’t always have the time to devote to make them into what I want them to be since I will never just throw an update up there just to update. 
> 
> Know I love and appreciate all of you. Hoping you all stay safe. 
> 
> ❤️ Always,  
> J/R

Each step away from her had been torture.

Turning his back made the selfish devil inside that he didn’t feel he had the right to express claw and scream at the walls his mind had put up to force himself to block her and his needs out so he wouldn’t do anything $Name would regret later.

She. Not him. There wasn’t a thing in that moment he would have regretted doing. Not taking her hand and lacing their fingers together as he pinned it against the wall behind her head. Not capturing her lips in the next instant to press her against the wall just enough that she knew to submit. Not even the breath he would steal as he left her barely enough to stand up as he stole it over and over with every inch of his body against hers.

Digging the shuriken into his palm after deftly and unknowingly removing it from her clasp, he dulled his wandering mind with the pain that now dripped from his palm having drawn blood in multiple places just to keep himself walking out her door and into the street.

Don’t look back. Just keep going.

So close. She had been so close he could almost taste the salt on her skin as she sweated from fear mixed with excitement. But the best part had been when something behind those eyes had come together. He had seen it clear as day in the width of her eyes and the intent stare she gave him but when nothing changed and she didn’t act on whatever she had come to realize, he was left assuming it either had nothing to do with him or she was too in shock to do anything.

Like with torture, it was that fine line interrogators rode between gleaning information and breaking the captive. So he had stood there with her passively wall slammed staring into her eyes until she reached up to touch his red one; an act that broke the intensity of the moment and made him self conscious.

Unconsciously, as he continued to walk, he reached up and touched his covered eye with the pads of his fingers on his left hand. Funny, such a thing had never bothered him before. He had never cared what others thought about his eye until that moment but something in the way she looked at him and reached towards him made him want to shrink back.

What was strange was that he hadn’t been concerned the day he rescued her and she had seen it; the day he had picked her up and cradled her against his chest after she had begged for Daddy to save her. Unsure if it was just because the feelings he now had hadn’t taken hold or if it was because he knew she wasn’t herself then so she most likely hadn’t even seen his eye, either way it was irritating to think there was now some integral part of him she didn’t like, making it harder to feel the connection he desired was entirely obtainable.

Tomorrow. He would have to see what would happen tomorrow during training.

――――――

That night after Kakashi left and I tried to go to bed, the whole room seemed hotter. It was as if the red on the walls had become an intangible heat; cold to the touch but able to permeate flesh to enflame the body from the inside. Just thinking about the color behind closed lids caused me to throw the blankets off just to see if the opposing air from the one open window would be enough to temper the simmering warmth of my body.

Laying there naked, bare to the red heat from the walls and the cool breeze that ghosted over my flesh I fought in vain against the thoughts that crept into my mind.Images that associated the breeze with Kakashi releasing a trickle of his wind chakra across my body in an attempt to torment me; a thought that quickly escalated to the breeze being his breath as his lips rested inches from my nakedness.

Turning away from the wall, I curled into myself and clamped my eyes shut. Why was I thinking these things? What could have provoked such salacious thoughts? That’s when the memory of Kakashi delicately eating from my hand, his lips and cheek brushing against my fingers and knuckles as our eyes stayed locked, played across the cinema of my internal theatre causing me to groan slightly.

Since it had happened during training, I hadn’t taken much time to think about that scene out of context, but now as I lay clutching myself as my body ached in places I wasn’t accustomed to, I began to toy with thoughts I had never considered with any guy I had been with.

Doing the best I could to shove those thoughts aside, I focused again on the redness of the wall which perfectly matched the garnet color of Kakashi’s eye. What would have caused me to latch on to such a color and allow it to have so much power over me? Racking my memory as my nails dig into my shoulders -my arms crossed in front of my chest where my hands rested- so I would stay focused, I thought back to all the times we had met and couldn’t remember a single one where I had seen him use his sharingan.

It was true we had been on a handful of missions together but they had been more like training sessions than anything major leaving no room for life or death dynamics.

That didn’t change the fact that the thought of him looking at me as I was pinned against the wall colored in the same red as his eye made me forget to breathe; my body held in a mesmerizing thrall that could only be broken by finding the answers that lay behind the source of the heat held within.

“I need to touch it.” My voice breaking through the silence softly, caught barely by my ears as my mind dug deeper into the image of his eyes; the weight of my words grazing across my conscious without ever realizing they had come from my own desire to reach a solution.

Then my hand reached out, palm open, to the ceiling before closing around air. I would find out, one way or another, why I felt this way and what would come of it should the answers take me down a road of conclusions I wasn’t prepared to come to.

Bringing my arm down to tuck against my chest, I took one final deep breath before throwing everything out of my mind and drifting off to sleep; the blankets still on the floor as my body continued to be kept warm by a fire I had only just begun to stoke.


	12. Peek-a-boo: A Game of Trust

Infuriating. Simply and indescribably infuriating. The worst part was it shouldn’t even bother me to the degree it did, but it did, I hated it and I didn’t know why.

From the moment I arrived at the training grounds, Kakashi wouldn’t look at me. I had even arrived a little early thinking I could possibly catch a glimpse of him unexpectedly which hadn’t happened. No sooner had I entered the clearing and whispered his name curious as to his absence since he was being a stickler for time for some reason, he walked up behind me, speaking as he passed right by without visually acknowledging me.

“If you are here early that means we can start early.”

Walking to the nearest tree he jumped up to a branch about 15’ off the ground and gave me my first instruction as he pulled out some new porn and settled in to read it; one leg hanging casually off as the other crossed over the branch while his back rested against the trunk.

And yes his eye was covered.

Crestfallen. That was the best word to describe it. Though he hadn’t plagued my dreams, he was beginning to consume my every waking moment. In fact, the entire time on my way here my mind had been filled with images of last night.

Now that I was here and he didn’t seem to care less, I was beginning to feel like a fool. “Nice to see a weaker side my ass,” I grumbled. Tearing my eyes from his reclined body, I set my mind to the task. If he truly didn’t want to look, I’d give him a reason to need to or make a fool of myself trying.

—

Part of him wanted her to come early to train to need the validation that something had indeed happened between them last night and it would be enough to make her seek him out in unconventional ways. Her early presence this morning seemed to confirm that, though there was only one way to make sure.

A master of deception, Kakashi had perfected the unofficially named Peek-a-boo technique. Named by Jiraiya for completely indecent purposes, Kakashi had reinvented it to allow him to maintain eye contact with his victim while doing everything else but that. The technique allowed him to keep a certain perceived discretion and allowed the victim certain security of sorts in “knowing” he wasn’t watching.

Though not a technique meant to portray detail, it helped fill in the gaps for actions and events that went on around him when he wasn’t looking directly at the victim. In this case, it allowed him -by accessing $Name’s body language, sounds, and position- to watch her every move and thought while seemingly distracted by something else.

For his purposes today, the technique required some additional prep work. Having been in a rather flustered state when he left her place last night, Kakashi had made up his mind to deploy the technique as a way to sate his own curiosity without giving his growing obsession away too easily.

Stopping by Jiraiya’s -he now had a spare key which had been attached to the back of the book the sage had given Kakashi- he had grabbed some mirrors of the necessary size and headed to the training area. Gauging the time of day and the angle of reflection, Kakashi then placed them accordingly so a minor shift of his handheld mirror allowed him to capture her features without her knowing.

So seated in his tree with his handheld mirror resting on the left side page, he tilted the book this way and that as if adjusting or turning the page to capture exactly what she was going through as he spouted out directions and accurate instructions of what she was doing wrong without ever looking at her, something he hoped would at least upset her slightly.

Never had he anticipated the amount of frustration and anger she would attempt to suppress as she tried and failed not to look at him through the whole training session. Each glare, caught at different angles, excited him. To watch her bite her lip, grunt as she pushed herself harder, pant, and to see the sweat give her body a tantalizing sheen was better than any porno he had read.

It was clear she wanted at least something from him, the question was what exactly. That, he planned to try to uncover during the noon daybreak; a respite that would create more questions than it answered.

After watching $Name until she had thoroughly exhausted herself and was running on sheer stubborn anger, Kakashi casually closed his book and hopped down. Tucking the book into his pack, he brushed himself off and walked towards $Name who was visibly panting and stabilizing herself, half bent over, on her thighs; her eyes focused on his feet as he walked closer.

Keeping an air of disinterest, Kakashi addressed her in a dispassionate tone. “Good work. You seem to be improving at an average pace. Take a break. When I get back we will do something a little more to your liking.” Still not looking at her he walked past for a second time.

Unable to catch her breath she just stood half bent until she could no longer sense his presence at which point she released the lock on her knees and fell in a heap to the ground.

—

Feeling she needed about an hour to recover enough to stand as it was easy to tell by the way her body subtly shook that she was about to collapse- Kakashi took his time wandering into and out of town for food. Making sure he was done with no objects that would alert her to his arrival, he snuck back a different way than he has come; a tactic that paid off as he arrived with her seated cross-legged facing the path he had walked down while he watched her a moment from an Eastern position.

Circling so he would be able to sneak up behind her, he had decided to test the most obvious thing within his control and the one thing she has shown a reaction to.

Standing less than half a foot from her back, he placed his left hand on his bandanna as his right tapped her shoulder and he said, “Peek-a-boo”.

Not anticipating the severity of her reaction as she flung herself around with such force her left arm hit his left elbow and jerked his bandana up faster than intended causing his thumbnail to scratch his cheek slightly as he pulled the fabric up, he found himself pushed back onto his butt as she fell partially on him between his legs; her right arm planting on the ground next to him while her left fell short and landed squarely in the center of his right peck.

Both of them now slightly dumbfounded, Kakashi was the first to recover.

“For a girl as tough as you, you sure scare easily.”

To be honest he wasn’t sure how he was able to eek that out. His mind was racing as his body drank in the supple feel of her wedged between his legs as she half draped over him; her hand pressed securely into his chest as if her very existence was defined by the security his body provided.

To make matters worse that look in her eye -half mesmerized half wanting- spoke of a need he desperately wanted to quench for her right here despite the dirt and the sweat.

Her silence wasn’t making it any easier.

“$Name?” His voice was quiet and calm. Even so, all she did was tighten the hold she had on his chest, balling the fabric of his clothes into a fist as her eyes pinched slightly; a clear sign the exhaustion had exceeded her filters ability to keep her emotions in check causing the dammed up tears to begin to pool.

“$Name, please don’t…” He tried to follow up with but she cut him off.

“Why?” She half asked half yelled.

“Why?” Still looking at her calmly he inquired further even though he was willing to bet he knew where this was going. “Why what?”

Pushing down on his chest in anger she half cried half yelled, “What do you mean why what?” Sniffling she continued. “Why? Why didn’t you watch me at all today? Do you even care about me getting better? Do you even really care about teaching me so I can become stronger?”

The tears began to fall in quick successive drops onto his chest and torso now

“Tell me. Tell me why. Why wouldn’t you…”

Kakashi sat up quickly then placing his hands on either side of her hips as they unconsciously shifted to take the weight of her upper body without straining her back. His eyes, uncovered, were now staring just at her as their faces remained separated by the distance between two noses.

“…look at me.” The tears still fell but $Name’s voice was quiet as her eyes locked onto his -more specifically his redone.

Neither one moved nor blinked for several seconds before Kakashi broke the silence.

“I don’t need to look at you to know everything about you and what you are doing or are capable of.”

Maintaining eye contact, Kakashi set the stage for her to give a little more and confirm what he had unexpectedly been hoping more than anything else.

Caught by surprise, $Name’s eyes went slightly wide and her face flushed a soft pink. Releasing his shirt she pushed him in the chest; her hand staying on his shirt as if afraid that letting go would break more than just the contact they shared.

“Do you always say such thoughtless things? A girl could get the wrong idea you know.”

Wanting to push her buttons more, Kakashi egged her on “It’s only the wrong idea if you don’t ask the right questions.” His face was serious but not stern, his eyes piercing hers with only a slightly watered-down version of his passion that had continually built up since she had found purchase in his lap.

Her hand clenched at her chest a moment, the implications behind his words sinking in rapidly before she took a sharp intake of breath and reached her right hand out towards his face.

“What is the right question then?” She asked as her hand inched closer to his beautiful red eye.

Not shying away this time, Kakashi watched her hand get closer -the fingers extending slowly out in anticipation of the contact it sought

“That I cannot tell you, but it ties directly into the thing you want to see.”

The soft pads of $Name’s index and middle finger came in contact then with the slightly ragged flesh associated with the scar under his left eye. Allowing her to trace it and the underside of his eye in silence, he waited for her response

“What I want to see?” The question seemed slightly detached as her finger traced towards his nose and then back towards his ear as it traced the underside of his eye. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” That was all he could say as he caught to hold back his desire to wrap his arms around her.

That’s when her hand lifted from his eye and presses down on his upper lid. “Then if you trust me close your eyes and don’t open them until I tell you.”

He could hear the struggling embarrassment in her voice as he allowed his eye to close and in turn closed his right. When they were tightly shut he heard her breath in and out once.

“What I want to see is this.”

A second split the distance between them before her hands were on his shoulders and her lips pressed into the lid of his scarred left eye. Caught by surprise, he almost opened his right eye but her finger pressed against it a second before his bandana was pulled down to cover both his eyes. Remembering that she had said he couldn’t look until she said so, he sat shaking slightly with excitement.

At least until he felt her rise and the heat of her presence rapidly fade. Looking up trying desperately to look through the fabric of his bandana he heard her come to a standing position before rising and stepping back.

Frantic on the inside that she would leave him here emotionally open he fought against his urge to rip off his bandana and rise to chase after her.

She must have sensed his distress because she responded to his panic. Next thing he knew her hand was pulling up the side of

his bandana that usually covered his left eye and said “Peek-a-boo. What I want to see the most is the hidden part of you.”


	13. Unspoken Words

There was only one other time Kakashi could call to mind where he had been frozen in his tracks in complete shock. Though the intimacy of the kiss was surprising, it was the emotional agony he heard in her voice as she spoke, the warmth of her lips mixed with the damp cold from her tears as her cheek brushed his nose when she applied an unexpected fluttering of her turbulent emotions onto his scar, that left him spellbound.

It was as much her asking permission to see his eye as it was confessing her desire to have it gaze upon her. Her hand slightly cradling his head as her hesitant lips molded into the splayed and ragged flesh; the plush surface caressing it so lovingly it was like they accepted and forgave in the same instant everything that had come before and resulted after the scars creation.

More than that, the feeling of acceptance spread like a warm heat down his spine and throughout Kakashi’s body implying that which was hidden by the bandana wasn’t the only thing she wished to see and accept; her awareness of those implications remained hidden however in the emotions that bled through her intimate gesture and in no way shone within the sincerity reflected in her eyes as he stared dumbly back at her.

Not capitalizing on the moment cost him, setting them back emotionally as her face blushed and she curled into herself; her steps carrying her backward as she quickly backed away to gain distance.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me. Just…pretend I didn’t say anything. I must still be a little disoriented from everything that happened.” Smiling awkwardly, $Name stopped three feet from him awaiting a fidget for him to rise and continue.

Cursing inwardly that he had fallen victim to disorientation, Kakashi rose effortlessly and reached out an olive branch of his own desperate to gain the connection he had just severed.

“If I pretend it never happened then I deny all the feelings you had in conveying them to me.” Dusting himself off and removing the bandana he took a step forward and waited.

Tensing but not suggesting she wanted to run, he held her gaze that contained within it a storm of emotions both realized and not.

“In all the time I have had this scar, no one has handled it so kindly let alone shared a desire to have such a weapon gaze on them for any reason.”

He took another step and hesitated. $Name flinched but didn’t turn to run or back up to maintain distance. This left two feet between them.

“You can understand why it might have shocked me a little to have someone, especially someone I share a bond with, express such a desire since most fear or dismiss my eye; separating the man from the weapon.”

Taking slow steps forward, never breaking eye contact, Kakashi came to stand directly in front of $Name so she looked up at him with a mixture of fascination, embarrassment, and curiosity.

“In truth, it would be beneficial if you trained with me while my sharingan was exposed so you are not caught at a disadvantage. Just understand…”

It was a risk he was willing to take as he could tell she teetered know the precipice of fight and flight. It took only a second before he was behind her, her arms pinned behind her back with one hand as the other wrapped around to rest on her abdomen. With her secured, he pressed his lips to her ear and spoke in a low voice laced with hints of his dormant desire.

“I won’t go easy on you. Your life belongs to me.”

Grazing the lobe with each syllable in a vernacular kiss, Kakashi expressed his own raw sentiments with both his body and mind. Pulling her against him so she molded against as much of his body as her pinned hands allowed, he invited her to desire him hoping the memory of being against him with his voice in her ear would sink into her conscious and make her crave more even if it only leads to excuses for her to see him.

They would still be excuses he could take advantage of.

——

The silence between my words and his lack of response made my stomach turn. Why had I said that? I hadn’t even come to terms with that being something I wanted until last night and here I am confessing to wanting to see his eye.

And with a kiss on his scar no less! What the hell had come over me? With my heart racing and bile rising up my throat, I stepped hurriedly backward hoping distance would dilute whatever power he seemed to have over me when we were in close proximity.

Once distance was gained, I stumbled out an apology. He needed to understand that it was nothing, SHOULD be nothing, that I was just rambling an internal monologue outside and didn’t mean anything by it. But as I looked at his eye I knew deep down that wasn’t true.

Somehow that eye held the key to everything I had felt since that fateful mission and was slowly shaping the person I was even without me acknowledging it. I had painted my flat in its color; had slept better than I had in years after doing so as well. I even found myself getting frustrated today when it didn’t fall on me at all today, sure it was covered but I knew all I needed was for Kakashi to look at me and that eye would capture me wrapping me in its crimson heat and giving me a peace of mind I didn’t know I needed.

That’s why I didn’t run as he walked slowly towards me. Sure the embarrassed part of me wanted to, but the stubborn part that wanted answers and craved something completely irrational won out. So I stood my ground and kept my eyes locked on his even when my knees began to get weak the closer he got.

I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying as he got closer. All I focused on was the intensity of his eye and the tone of his voice. The closer he got and the calmer he spoke the more my body began to relax. Before I knew it he was in front of me staring down with his clear red-eye and I…I was completely at his mercy.

In a flash, I was reminded of the times when my father and I would train when I was young and I would lose my temper so badly at my failures I would end up exhausted and hurt. Inconsolable like a wounded feral animal hell-bent on proving everyone wrong about what I could do I would lash out at him as I cried.

Instead of yelling, dragging me off, or abandoning me, he would calmly confront me with his kind, unwavering gaze, and soft voice until he could get close enough to wrap me in a bear hug while I balled my eyes out in frustration.

Though not the same affectionate gesture, the security of Kakashi’s body against mine as his soft voice bore into my brain triggered the same feelings of acceptance and intimacy, evolving as the last words rang out in my mind into something less innocent and pure.

“Your life belongs to me.”

Belongs to him. I belong to him. The idea of his red eye and solid comfort possessing me entirely without reservation or hesitation, even on a whim, both excited and terrified me. I had not, until now, been faced with the possibility that the absence of a comforting and constant male presence in my life had such a profound impact on me.

Yes losing a parent, even as a more mature person, is hard to process and accept, but I had never realized until now - and only just slightly- that I had felt starved of male direction, security, and affection to such a degree when he died.

But now, as Kakashi pressed against me with his hand securely but not repressively resting on my abdomen all I could do was let go. Tears began pooling in my eyes and my heart started aching. I wanted nothing more at this moment than to be held by this man and told me that I was okay, that I would be okay, and that he would protect me no matter what.

On the verge of ugly crying I leaned back into him and tilted my head up before thinking, my mind too exhausted to comprehend all the overwhelming emotions, ‘Daddy, please help me’ before the dam broke and the tears fell.

I had never expected him to read my thoughts and say “It’s okay princess, Daddy’s here” until my mind shot into focus at the sound of his huskier voice in my ear and I realized I hadn’t thought that, I had said it.

And I was pretty sure I couldn’t take it back or that I even wanted to. 


	14. Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?

There is a profound moment when reality and perception split and the mind fights for purchase. Slamming against preconceived notions and dense smoke screens it darts frantically around its limitless cavity desperate to find something believable and tangible to hold onto.

Bound by Kakashi’s words and held by the vision of a man I needed to let go of but didn’t have the emotional strength to establish myself without, I floundered internally in Kakashi’s grasp gasping between sobs riddled with terror and sadness as I weakly fought against his grip a few moments before my legs gave out and we crumpled to the ground together; his body encasing mine as his crouched legs spread out to either side creating a barrier to confine my rampant emotions as he continued to hold me firmly.

Still leaning back against his chest -my head turned away from his- I begged him to stop.

“Kakashi, let me go. I don’t want this…I don’t want you to…”

“Shhhh.” He whispered softly. “It’s just you and me. I won’t think any less of you. Trust me. You are going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

His hand tightened around my stomach then so it wrapped entirely around me while the one on my wrists released my right hand before carefully bringing my now sore left around my front so he could wrap me up in both his arms.

Breathing in through the pain of my sore joint, I could do nothing but quietly cry as he held me, my shame mingling with the desperate need to seek affection from him unabashedly in my emotionally weak state.

Feeling small and raw inside I curled into him and stopped fighting, not willing to think what tomorrow would bring.

That’s when he began to rock slowly back and forth, a feat that seemed physically impossible in his crouched position with my ass plastered to the ground and my body wedged against him. Unable to think clearly and feeling completely drained, I closed my eyes and relaxed against him.

The next thing I knew I was breathing in the faint scent of lemon as my head rested on the slightly firm surface of a cotton material that didn’t register as anything worn by Kakashi. Opening my eyes and sitting up, I felt a stiff towel fall into my lap as my eyes took in my room in the medical ward and the Hokage sitting next to me.

“I’m glad you are finally awake. You were asleep for two days and we had to sedate you the first day when that irresponsible ninja brought you here because you had a very high fever and had become pale.”

Disoriented, I looked around for the ninja in question only to be surprised when a pug with a bandana jumped onto the bed.

“Before you worry yourself sick, he’s at home with strict instructions to sleep. I’m here in his place and will take my leave to let him know you have recovered enough to wake.”

Turning on the small dog with mild fury, Tsunade gave her thoughts on the matter.

“Like hell you will! That idiot needs to stay as far away for as long as possible so she can rest and recover. She was sick because of the emotional strain she was under and if I had to guess it was his fault!”

Turning to me with a deceptive smile, she continued.

“If I hadn’t thrown him out he would have been sick as well. He stayed with you the first two days without eating or sleeping worried he had pushed you too far. He wouldn’t tell me what happened but judging your symptoms I knew it was more emotional than anything.”

She sighed heavily then. “That’s when I agreed to let one of the Ninken stay in his place.”

Looking down at the dog I smiled and placed my hand on his head to rub it before scratching behind his ears and under his chin.

“I appreciate the company.”

The dog just gave a weird snort growl before his jowls turned up slightly in a grin.

“Since I’m not foolish enough to think I can keep him away the entire time, I’ll go pay him a visit.” Rising she spoke one final time before turning and leaving. “You will be here at least another day before I release you. Try to rest as much as you can until then.”

I nod. “Thank you Hokage.”

She just smiled and then left leaving me alone with the pug and my thoughts. Laying down on my side facing the door, I continued to pet his ugly cute face, which he didn’t seem to mind or seem to be in any hurry to leave. 

———-

if the image doesn’t work here is the link   
[Kakashi in bed](https://pin.it/78SOGpK)

———-

To say Tsunade was mad was the understatement of the year. Not only was she pissed when she got to Kakashi’s place and found he wasn’t there, she now had to traipse down to $Name’s house and recover the idiot since the Ninken left at his place relayed the message that she never told him he had to sleep at his home, just go home and sleep. Since he couldn’t sleep there and he was worried about $Name -knowing full well the Hokage wouldn’t release her without visiting him first- he had no reservations about going to the place that reminded him the most of her and sleeping there.

And to be honest it was the best sleep he had in forever. Though her bed was meant only for one, her sheets were soft and warm, her pillow as smooth and pliant as her skin and the faint scent of her was intoxicating, pulling him to sleep as soon as he settled under the covers.

It took Tsunade yelling at him once she entered at full volume next to $Name’s bed for him to wake up enough to open his eye and acknowledge her.

“YOU PERVERT! DO I HAVE TO BAN YOU FROM HANGING OUT WITH JIRAIYA AND HER ROOM! WHAT PERVERSITY MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS OKAY!”

Growling at his nonchalant response as he rose to a seated position before covering himself with $Name’s comforter as he sat looking at Tsunade, she continued to tear into him.

Would you mind telling me what happened now that we don’t have people around?

Kakashi yawned. “Nope.”

Tsunade’s eye twitched. THAT WASN’T A REQUEST!”

Kakashi just fell back over and closed his eyes pretending to snore wrapped like a burrito in $Name’s comforter.

Growling openly she yelled again. “Don’t make me send you out on a mission as punishment for your behavior!”

Kakashi sat up and dropped the blanket before uncovering his bandana from under the pillow and putting it on.

“That wouldn’t be a wise decision.” His voice was dead serious and a chill entered the room.

“At least I have your attention.”

“You do realize you are hard to ignore.”

Tsunade’s eye twitched. “Look. I know she got sick from emotional strain. I just want to know what happened, what might have caused it.”

Rising, Kakashi turned to make the bed. “If I knew that she wouldn’t have gotten ill. At some point you need to realize I won’t tell you because I have nothing to tell you.”

Waiting a moment for him to finish and turn around Tsunade spoke softly.

“Nothing to tell me or nothing you want to admit to?”

Glaring at her Kakashi remained quiet.

“Look Kakashi. I meant it when I said you were the only one who could help her. I am and remain completely behind you two. But I have to make sure she remains healthy and happy in the process. That being said, what happened three days ago caused a complete shut down of her body. Whatever you did you have to be careful. She can’t take too many more hits like that. It will destroy her bodies ability to fight back and recover.”

Turning and walking to the door Tsunade gave one last remark. “If you care about her at all you have to be more careful. And if you find yourself more than caring you can never let her go. It might just kill her.”

Then she was gone leaving Kakashi to put the place back the way he had found it before heading to see $Name.


	15. Push Me, Pull Me

Tsunade was right. Kakashi really did come right over. Unfortunately, our reunion wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be.

Knocking once, Kakashi opened the door and scowled at the sight of Pakkun on his back with his tongue lolling out as I casually rubbed his belly.

“I told you to guard her and notify me when she was awake.” His voice was irritated and his eyes hard.

Removing my hand from Pakkun’s belly I tuck it into my lap as he rises with a slight whine.

“I’m sorry. He stayed with me because Tsunade said she was going to visit you. He was actually a very sweet and comforting substitute. I didn’t mean to get him in trouble.”

Still glaring at the dog but speaking to me, he moved towards the bed.

“Watch the door. Don’t let anyone in unless it is Tsunade and then notify me if it is her.”

Pakkun just huffs and says something under his breath which causes Kakashi to tense as he tries to ignore it.

With the dog outside, Kakashi walked to a chair at the foot of the bed and sits down causing me more distress than I cared to admit since at first he wouldn’t look at me and when he did his eye was covered.

Acting as if nothing substantial happened, he began questioning me about my condition.

“Seems like you recovered well. I have to admit you gave me a scare when you passed out and started burning up. It was like your whole body was on fire.”

With a brain that had a habit of running full throttle with most things, I quickly went from imagining myself hot in Kakashi’s arms to me in a hospital gown and Kakashi not leaving for two days causing my face to redden again. Fortunately, my eyes also went wide so he didn’t think I was relapsing.

“Don’t think too hard about it. The nurses undressed you and I stood outside. They let me back in when you were settled.”

Relieved and slightly disappointed, I set my face in an expressionless mask. “I see. That’s good then.”

“Still, it took a day under anesthesia, and two after that wore off for the recovery process to yield any results. It seems you had been under substantial stress.”

Here his eyebrows pinched slightly and worry crossed his brow making my heart flutter. Was that a sign he was worried? Trying not to react, just listen, I linked my hands together and began idly messing with my fingers.

Silence permeated the space between us than leaving the only sound the noises of the world outside that knew nothing of the chaos that roiled under the surface of this room.

Finally, Kakashi asked, “Do you feel okay?”

I just nodded and bowed my head unable to look at the eyes that had lost the intensity I had witnessed a smattering of days ago. “Tsunade says I need to be here one more day and then I will be released. I know that is going to set my training back…”

Suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, I clench the sheets in my fists and fought back tears that were rushing in from nowhere. Tears that never fell because my body, just as quickly, was cradled by Kakashi’s as he wrapped his arms around me and held me with my forehead against his chest.

“Don’t do that. You can’t do that.”

His voice was suddenly fearful and intense catching me off guard and making me swallow my tears before they could ever fall.

“You can’t let yourself get worked up over silly stuff.”

Then he pulled back and looked me in the eye never releasing his arms from around me.

“I’m not going anywhere. You have to trust me.”

Sniffling and pushing my luck, I said “How am I supposed to trust you if you insist on hiding from me when it’s just us?”

We stared at each other and I can see the hesitancy behind his eyes as he battles with something he hasn’t shared with me yet. Wanting to comfort him, I reach for his bandana so I can run my fingers over his scar - an unwritten sign of the acceptance I want to ingrain in his subconscious- but seconds before my finger comes in contact with the fabric a loud bark erupts causing Kakashi to dart back to his chair leaving me hanging like a marionette in mid-performance.

When the door opens and Tsunade steps in, she locks eyes with Kakashi who retains his expressionless mask causing her to slightly scrunch up her eyes in skepticism.

“I can’t let you sleep here now that she is awake you know that right? Besides, the girl needs a break eventually. I’ll clear her to walk in the back garden with you but that is as far as you go. Just let me run a few tests first.”

Coming to sit beside me, Tsunade takes my temperature, draws some blood, listens to my heart, and a few other things that I’m beginning to believe she is doing just to see if she can irritate Kakashi who has pulled out his book and begun to read as he waits.

Slightly depressed that he can just switch off like that and go from potential intimacy to casual everyday care free I begin to chew my lip.

Then Tsunade catches my attention as she brings her face close to mine and whispers, “Don’t worry, he is antsy. He has read that same page at least five times now and if not the page, then the paragraph. Just make sure you aren’t biting off more than you can chew.

Turning my head as I flush slightly, Tsunade finishes.

“There, all done. Just make sure to bring her back and tuck her in before bed.”

Kakashi gives no response but Tsunade looks at me and winks before exiting the room.

When we can no longer hear her presence, I hesitantly inquire, “It might be nice to get up and stretch my legs. Will you walk with me outside for a little while?”

Glancing my way we lock eyes momentarily before he sets his book down and walks over to my bed. Holding out his hand he waits patiently for me to take it so we can help me up.

Embarrassed, I push his hand aside. “I’m not an invalid. I can get up and walk my...” Then a Yelp escapes my lips as he leans over and takes me over his shoulder; his arm locking my knees against him as he carries me to the garden.

Once there, he slides me down his chest leaving me slightly breathless and flushed. Beating a fist against his chest I half-heartedly voice attempted displeasure.

“Damn you, you idiot. I could do it myself.” Stepping backward I lose my balance and fall back only to be caught and pulled against his chest yet again.

“You were saying?”

Pouting, I turn my head and sulk but make no move to release myself from his grip. Even without putting up a fight, he insisted on pushing my buttons.

“You know if you don’t want me here I can always take you back and leave you alone.”

Turning my face sharply I glare at him. “I never said that.”

“Maybe not, but that is what you’re actions are telling me now that we are outside. I bet you just used me to get you out of that room.”

Part of me knew he was teasing, goading me for a response I too easily was inclined to give him. In truth, if I had more sense then, I would have realized he was begging for the same affectionate validation I was, we just went about it differently. Sadly, my naivety afforded me no such wisdom. Yanking free I stormed over to the tree in the center and leaned against it hugging myself tightly in an attempt to block out the hurtful accusations that should never have upset me in the first place.

But they did, and resting against the tree only validated how dead it made me feel and how lifeless the world was when I wasn’t wrapped up in the energy I had when circling around Kakashi. Even if I couldn’t see him or touch him, just knowing he was around the corner gave me life, hope, and a sense of solace I had lacked the last several years.

Even if it wasn’t anything more than just a one-sided flirtation, it involved moments I stole from his life that he could never get back. Moments that would imprint memories of me wherever he went.

A one-sided flirtation. The thought left a black hole in my stomach. How had this happened? How had feelings for a man I should have no attachment to crept up and overwhelmed me? And why did everyone see it before me?

Leaning farther into the tree I cursed softly. “Damnit.”

“You know, princesses are supposed to be ladies and ladies shouldn’t speak like that.”

Despite no arms wrapping around me, despite our eyes not meeting, despite his lips never touching my ear, I felt the teasing affection behind his words as he came to stand directly behind me.

Wanting nothing more than to press back into him as I had during training I sensed the awkwardness in the space between us so instead I spoke to the emptiness in front of me.

“What are you, my father?” It was meant to be a petulant jab but instead, it backfired.

“No, my dear I am not your father. I would never dream of replacing him. Instead, I intend to be…”

His voice filled my ear then as he bent around me and placed his lips to my right ear. “…your daddy.”


	16. Miss Me When I’m Gone

The world stopped then, or maybe it wasn't the world maybe it was just that I was frozen in time and the world was spinning faster than I could perceive. Either way, in that moment, I lost consciousness of everything around me except Kakashi.

Closing my eyes so as to block everything out, I focused all my energy and extended all my senses so they just perceived him. When at first I couldn't feel him, I extended my chakra outward farther wanting to fill the space between us and around us with the solid feeling of his presence. Even then I could not find him.

Frantic, I turned around. How could he say something like that and not explain it? How could he just toy with my emotions and then leave me hanging? Seeing him back at the door to the hospital casually leaning along the wall infuriated me. What the hell?

"I think it's time I took you back in. You need to eat something before bed since you haven't really eaten anything recently."

Glaring at him with clenched fists at my sides I storm up to and then past him heading back to my room. We don't speak the entire way back and he continues to walk behind me which only further irritates me. When I get inside, I want to slam the door shut in his face, but his hand holds the door over my head so I cannot. Clamping my jaw, I walk briskly to the bed before yanking back the covers, slipping under them and turning to face the window as I curl into a crescent shape; my hands hugging the extra pillow to my body.

"I'll go find the nurse and tell her to bring you food. Try not to do anything rash between now and then."

I can hear him turn and head toward the door. My anger increases, but my insecurity remains my driving emotion. 

"Care to explain what you said back there?" I desperately want to know but I also am terrified of the answer.

He stops then and pauses for a moment before answering. "If you really want to know, ask me when you are released. Until then, why don't you think about it and try to figure out what your feelings are and what you really want." Then silence again a few seconds before Pakkun jumps back up on the bed and comes to lie down against my back. "Take care of her for me. Let me know if anything happens." Then he opens the door and walks out without even a goodbye.

\----

It had tore at him all three days she had been unconscious. Should he tell her and risk sending her into this state again? Should he keep trying to drag it out of her? The guilt he felt at forcing her hand was palpable and yet he couldn't help but feel a little relief knowing her feelings regarding him had caused her to have such an intense reaction. Maybe she didn't realize it, but she did have some type of attraction to him.

For two days he had stayed by her side with no food or sleep eating himself alive on the inside. Though she wasn't helpless or weak, she was fragile. Her emotions, though fierce, teetered on a fine rope of memories and ideals that couldn't hold her forever. He knew breaking them down wouldn't be pleasant and building them up wouldn't be easy, but he never expected her to be shattered so badly by the whole experience.

The argument he had with Tsunade the day she threw him out was the only one they had in the history of knowing each other that almost came to blows. Not able to think rationally, he had dug his heels in and adamantly defied her telling the Hokage he wasn't going to leave unless he was unconscious or dead; a proposition Tusnade had no problem obliging. The only thing that stopped her was the interference of Jiraiya who had come by to offer support to Kakashi by bringing him a new book that might help take his mind off things. When he saw the two almost at blows, he proposed using a dog as a stand in.

Not thrilled with leaving, but willing to accept the alternative, Kakashi had left Pakkun with specific instructions to contact him when she awoke and headed out of the hospital. Try as he might when we got home he couldn't relax. His flat was so lifeless and it made him realize how empty his life was without $name. Not knowing when he would see her or what shape she would be in when he awoke left him anxious and fidgety. Knowing he should get some sleep, he had another pup watch his house with instructions for Tsunade and headed to $name's to look in on it so she could come back and not have to worry about what had happened to it while she had been out. The rest was history.

Now, as he left the hospital and her room once again, Kakashi was filled with the same anxious insecurity. He had been certain in the garden she had feelings for him and had taken a leap in faith telling her just what he wanted to do hoping she would accept it openly and honestly. Her hesitancy and lack of response had thrown him off and put him on the defensive. Maybe he had miscalculated. Maybe he had jumped the gun.

Giving her space to process and him a chance to regroup, he had repositioned himself by the door before suggesting they head inside and get her something to eat. When her fierce look and grandiose tantrum came in response, he knew he hadn’t miscalculated.

Sighing internally, his inside filled with nervous currents charged with his anxiety, he watched with an aloof eye to see just how frazzled by the whole thing she was.

As she came to the door, her foot planted just inside the frame and her body slid slightly right as she grabbed the door, a glaring indication she was considering slamming it in his face. Darting forward he grabbed and failed to suppress a smile as she stormed to her bed and covered up making sure to face away from him.

Such ferocity in such a small package. Making sure she we settled he made good his escape.

"I'll go find the nurse and tell her to bring you food. Try not to do anything rash between now and then."

She didn’t bite and truth be told he didn’t expect her to. Not turning around, she kept a cold detachment that was a good enough signal to give her space even though he would have bet money she didn’t really want it.

But what you want isn’t always what you get.

Which is why he told her to ask him again when she was released about what he had said in the garden. It would give her time to think and come to her own conclusions before they took this past the point of no return. With the feelings he had now there would be no turning back if they flew in head first. She deserved a chance to consider and accept what he proposed.

Calling forth Pakkun he set him to guard her before exiting the room and leaving her to her thoughts. It wasn’t fair to put her through this and not tell her what she was getting into. It was even more unfair to leave her on her own to figure it out, but in some cases knowledge, like revenge, was a plate best served cold when emotions weren’t as high and cooler heads prevailed.

The question was would she hate him for what he was about to do or would it bring her to a conclusion they both could come to terms with?

Fortunately Tsunade was alone in her office when he arrived. Closing the door behind him he made his request.

“I want you to send me out on a mission.”

Tsunade stared at him questioningly. “Are you sure that is wise? I take it she doesn’t know you are here?”

“She does not.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? I can’t guarantee when you will be back.”

This time it was Kakashi’s turn to look questioningly at the Hokage. “Is there a reason I should be worried when I will arrive back?”

Tsunade leaned back in her chair. “I take it you don’t know.”

“What is there to know?” Raking his brain Kakashi tried to think over why it would matter when he might arrive back. He had just assumed Tsunade would give him something easy to pass a few days giving him ample time to face $Name with a strong reserve.”

“You know for a man as diligent as you I would have thought you would have known her birthday is only two weeks away.”

Closing his eyes and bowing his head as he sighs Kakashi dismissively says, “Just give me something within the date range.”

Tsunade’s face turns hard. “Didn’t I tell you not to give up on her and to take care of how you treated her? Do you even know how much this little escapade could set you back?”

He just shrugs. “I have to trust my gut.”

Growling in frustration, she rustles through the pages on her desk and pulls out a C class escort quest. “This should have you there and back in two weeks with time to spare to do something thoughtful to save your ass.” Then she slams it on the table before crossing her arms and scowling.

Walking forward and picking it up, Kakashi gives the paper a once over and nods. “I told her to think while she recovers about what she really wants and what she is willing to accept. This should give her just enough time to do that and me the time to figure out the rest.”

Then he disappeared leaving Tsunade drained. Maybe she could come up with a reason to have $Name stay in the hospital. Pinching her nose between her fingers she sighed.

“Why don’t you leave her to me. I’m sure between him and I we can sort everything out.” Jiraiya entered the room saying.

Though skeptical at first since she hadn’t sensed his presence outside the room. though there was no place else he could be and gave knowledge of the conversation, she was inclined to believe Jiraiya was just the person to fill in the emotional gaps those two children lacked.

“Just don’t fuck it up.”

Laughing before giving his idiot smile Jiraiya did his best to reassure her. “I promise I will be a complete gentleman.”

Snorting, Tsunade just shook her head. “No taking her to shady places Jiraiya.”

Looking at her seriously he assured her he wouldn’t.

Not being one to feel comfortable educating someone in the ways of intimate relationships, Tsunade just waved him off. If nothing else it would be an education of a lifetime. There was no way Jiraiya would force her to do anything. He was actually quite a gentleman. The bigger concern was how she would feel knowing Kakashi left and might not be back in time.


	17. A Rose By Any Other Name

“He’s on a mission?” I asked Pakkun outside the hospital as I was released the following day.

“That’s right. I’ll be staying with you until he get’s back. It is also my understanding you will be training with Jiraiya until he returns as well.”

My brow furrowed in worry. “He expects to be gone that long?”

“Try not to worry. It’s only a C grade escort mission. It should be fine. Odds are he will be back before the month is up.”

Twisting my lips to the side I shove my hands in the pockets of my pants. “I see.”

More nervous than I was frustrated, I tried not to think that he would have left so he wouldn’t have to deal with me when I got out. We hadn’t parted on the best of terms, which I was feeling stupid and guilty about. Still, why would he say why he did and then leave? Did he not mean it? Did he change his mind?”

Pakkun and I walked in silence the rest of the way to my house. I had the day off to recoup and get settled, which now seemed an awful lot of time to be alone. As I continued to muddle over Kakashi’s absence, I opened the door and walked inside only to be taken by complete surprise.

This was not how I had left my house the morning I went to train and never came back. My floor was spotless, my dishes were all put away, the room smelled fresh, my bed was meticulously made and there were white roses with one red one in the center on the table with a note.

With teary eyes I picked up the note and read it.

$Name,

Here are the flowers I never brought to the hospital because I didn’t want to create a scene and a lot of questions; you needed to rest. I came by and cleaned up your place before falling asleep in your bed. I made it before I left. I didn’t want you to worry about what might have happened here while you were away so I took care of it for you. Hurry up and get better. We have a lot of training to do and it will be nice to see your smiling, stubborn face.

Kakashi

“Stupid.” I was so mad at myself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I sat down in the chair and balled my eyes out. I was the reason he left. Me and my insecurity. Me and my inability to see his kindness. Me and my selfish emotions. Burying my head in my arms I cried and cried, not even realizing Pakkun had left and come back with Jiraiya until his hand rested on my shoulder.

“Now, now I’m sure you being this upset isn’t good for your health right now.”

Slightly embarrassed, I swallowed my tears as best I could and rose my head; taking the handkerchief the Sage held out for me.

“These are quite beautiful aren’t they. Especially that red one. It reminds me a lot of his eye.”

Leaning my head on my fist I just nodded as my lower lip quivered.

“You know, in the entire time I have known Kakashi, I have never seen him have a meaningful relationship nor vest in another person like he has with you.” Removing his hand and coming to sit beside me in one of the other chairs Jiraiya continues as I look at the flowers.

“He even cleaned this place which he never does for anyone else. Tsunade said he actually looked adorable wrapped in your comforter when she was yelling at him after you woke up.”

The image hit me and I laughed slightly before sniffling.

“He is taking his time and doing a lot of research to try to figure out how to deal with how he feels you know.”

I look at Jiraiya curiously. “Research?”

“That’s right.” He smiles and nods. “Let me ask you. Did you two fight before he left?”

Turning my eyes down my face pulls into a frown. “Not a fight per se he just said some things I didn’t understand and then when he acted like he wanted to take them back I got upset and wouldn’t talk to him or look at him.”

“I see. Care to tell me what he said that you didn’t understand?”

My face turned red as I quickly recalled what he said.

“You don’t have to tell me, though considering the information I know about how all this started and the books and materials I know he perused, I’m pretty sure I know what was said.”

Jerking my head around to look at Jiraiya I blurt out, “What do you mean what you know about how this started?”

Jiraiya raised his hands in surrender. “Easy girl, you yourself should know what I’m referring to unless you completely forgot the day he recovered you and carried you back in his arms when that mission went south.”

Scrunching my eyes, I tried to think back. “I know he brought me back but I don’t remember seeing him or him carrying me at all. That’s all a blank.”

Jiraiya sighs. “I think you just found your problem.”

“My problem?”

“Yes. Because you don’t remember you have no idea why Kakashi said whatever he did today that confused you, thus creating a tension between you that didn’t need to exist.”

“Why he said…that?”

Jiraiya nods. “Would you like me to fill you in?”

Eager for an explanation for everything that had happened, I nod. “Yes please.”

“Very well just don’t shoot the messenger.”

The rest of the evening was spent being told the story of what I had said when Kakashi arrived that had triggered his unexpected emotions, the research he had done in an attempt to understand what he felt and what he thought I wanted, and where the course of events had taken us until now. Most of it I spent mortifyingly embarrassed since Kakashi had told these things to Jiraiya in confidence, but it also made me warm inside to finally know about Kakashi’s feelings and begin to understand why what he said affected me so much. When Jiraiya finished I was smiling like an idiot.

“Now, does what he said make more sense?”

Nodding I rubbed my index finger absentmindedly over the table. “I’m just not sure what to do or what it means to have him tell me he intends to be my daddy.”

Jiraiya whistles and I blush harder.

“He must have thought you were in a good place to accept his feelings. What did you do?”

Half frowning, I reply, “I closed my eyes and tried to reach out with my chakra to fill the space between us so I could feel close to him. I was confused and had a lot of insecurity at that moment and wasn’t sure how to respond. When I couldn’t find him I turned around and he was leaning on the wall at the entrance to the hospital.”

“Colossal idiot.” Jiraiya shook his head. “He got ahead of himself and then got his feelings hurt when you didn’t overwhelmingly accept him.” 

Looking up at him with slight fear and anxiousness I ask, “So how do I fix it? What if he doesn’t come back? What if he comes back and doesn’t want to be around me?” Feeling overwhelmed and scared I reach out and take hold of the vase bringing the flowers to my nose and trying to find some comfort as I breathe in.

“Trust me, he will be back. Didn’t he tell you to ask him again once he saw you when you were released?”

I nod slightly.

“Then have faith.”

“But it’s hard.”

“Yes it is. Imagine what he has gone through hiding his feelings as he tries to support you.”

I look at Jiraiya awkwardly. “I guess you are right.”

He nods. “So I think, starting tomorrow, you need some very specific training so when he comes back things will run a lot smoother.”

“Special training?” My face flushes as I envision me sitting down with walls of porn.

“Don’t start thinking! I didn’t meant like that!”

“Sorry.” Was all I said.

“Anyway, I want to take you to meet someone I know. She’s quite knowledgeable in this subject and I think would be a good mentor so there are no misunderstandings and things don’t get weird.”

I sigh in relief. “Ok. Thanks Jiraiya.”

He smiles. “You are welcome squirt. Now, try to have a good night and make sure to take extra special care of Pakkun. I love how jealous it makes Kakashi.

He laughs when I blush the rises. “I know it will be hard but try not to worry too much and thanks for opening up.” He becomes slightly serious. “Kakashi is an incredible person and deserves all the happiness in the world. As do you. Try to be patient and understanding. This can’t be easy for him either. He isn’t the most emotionally intelligent person.”

Then he smiles and waves before heading out leaving me to gently touch the roses one last time before rising and curling up in bed. The faint smell of Kakashi’s scent left over in the sheets pulling me to sleep quickly. 


	18. Daddy Kiria Lesson 1 | Day 1: Awareness

“Oh, Jiraiya she is just the cutest!” A woman who could be the spitting image of Tsunade squeals next to Jiraiya before turning her head towards him and saying softly, “She is gonna kill that poor boy when I’m done.”

Grinning mischievously, Jiraiya introduced me to her as we sit at a table in her home on the Southside of town. “$Name, this is Kiria. She and I go way back…”

“We have been going at it since way back you mean.” She snickers as Jiraiya turns beet red. “We met while he was coming back from a mission in my hometown. We got a little too drunk and he admitted a little more than he intended about his personal preferences and fantasies.” Scratching under his chin affectionately, ignoring his embarrassed sighs of distress, she turns to me.

“That being said, how much do you know about why Jiraiya brought you here?” It was an honest question though her mannerisms were creepily similar to Tsunade’s.

“Just that you would be a good mentor for teaching me about…certain things.”

Squealing again, Kiria reached over and took my hands since she was sitting next to me. “You are absolutely perfect. Not a single preconception in your body and so innocent. We can use that.”

Turning to Jiraiya she waved him off. “You can go. Thank you for the gift now run along. I’ll take it from here.”

“Yeah, Yeah he said with a slight pout. Before I forget, Tsunade said until her time with me is done $name isn’t expected to train with her. That should give you the freedom you need.”

Blowing a kiss that turns Jiraiya red again she thanks him, gets up, drags him to the door, and shoves him out making sure to lock it behind him.

“Now that that overgrown ball of sentiment is gone we can get down to business. Since Jiraiya didn’t tell you but I’m sure you can guess with a few more pieces of information, is that you are here to learn from me what it’s like to be someone’s little girl as well as what it takes to understand and cultivate a daddy that works for both of you.”

I blush but she continues. “There is nothing to be ashamed of. As you can see I have an incredible likeness to Tsunade which is why Jiraiya zeroed in on me in the first place. I have no delusions as to why he and I are friends or what our dynamic actually is. For him, I am a stand-in for the relationship he wishes he could have with Tsunade so I help him realize his fantasies. One of which is having a more vulnerable and less confrontational, intimate side to Tsunade as his little girl version of her.”

Rising, she walks to the sink and pulls out a glass. “Need something to wash all that down with?”

Completely stunned, I just nod and she pours a glass of water before bringing it to the table where she sits back down, hands it to me, and watches me down it before continuing.

“Believe it or not that particular fantasy isn’t based on sex at all. Yes there is a lot of passion and yes there is physical intimacy but it is mostly about exploring the trust between two people which is where we need to focus on with you if I have you two’s story straight.”

I hunch down trying to become smaller in my embarrassment. How can she be so honest about all this?

Humming she leans her head on her wrist and smiles. “Honesty to I guess as well as communication. If you can’t tell him what you want and need, which I promise will send him through the roof, this situation won’t go anywhere and you both might get hurt. The key is delivery and timing. You have to be able to read his body and know his mind even when he himself doesn’t or refuses to acknowledge it.”

Looking up with a frown I finally speak. “But what if he rejects me?”

Lifting a finger she chimes in. “Valid concern. Why don’t we jump right in and see if I can answer that for you in a way that makes more sense.” Reaching her hand out towards me she asks, “Care to go for a stroll?”

—

We walk in silence down the bustling streets of the town. Though our general direction seems to be heading towards the main square, my mind can’t wrap itself around the fact that everyone walking by addresses Kiria by name with a friendly welcome. Feeling slightly brazen, I ask.

“How do all these people know you aren’t the Hokage?”

She smiles. “I don’t have the gem on my forehead and I’m wearing this.” Pointing to a charm around her neck with the word wisdom that I hadn’t seen before, she winks. “That doesn’t mean in the beginning when I moved here there wasn’t mass confusion but eventually we all found a way to discern between the reality and the fantasy.”

Baffled that someone who seemed so grounded and sure of themselves could have such a double life, I just looked at her in wonder.

Sensing my awe like state, she spoke up. “Trust me when we are done you will understand. Your situation will be no different.” Walking to the outskirts of the crowd she sits on a nearby bench. “Look out and tell me what you see.”

Looking out and scanning the crowd I respond, “The people around us seem familiar and ordinary. They are both busy and relaxed going about their day with the same energy they always do.”

She nods. “A perfectly superficial answer and there is nothing wrong with that but tell me, how do suppose I know Uncle Niriko over there has a dream of creating a super vegetable from his garden that he tends that will revolutionize health and medicine?”

I look at her matter of factly and say, “You asked?”

She bursts out laughing. “Smartass. I know because of this. Do you see the color and shape of those veggies in his basket? What do they look like to you?”

Squinting my eyes I look closer. “They are shaped like radishes, but have an orange color and have sturdy green stalks that resemble celery.”

She nods. “What do you think that suggests?”

“They are hybrids?”

She nods again. “And?”

Looking deeper for several minutes, I notice the care he takes in arranging the collected vegetables in his basket as he stands and talks to Lady Orime who lives next to him. Lifting my eyes I see the enthusiasm and deep pride etched onto his face as he talks making me focus my hearing on his conversation as he talks about all the methods he has tried and why these are the best of the best so far.

“That his passion is his life and that he is dedicated heart and soul to it.” I then point out the things I noticed and she claps.

“Well done. That leads me to my first point. Anyone can be anything if they put their heart to it. The same goes for Daddies which is why Jiraiya brought you to me. Daddies aren’t defined by the sex they are defined by need. When Kakashi asked you to think about what you needed he was as much asking for you to see if you could accept him as your Daddy as he was asking for you to be his Little.”

I turn to her confused. “Little?”

“Yes. By little you would be defined as his little girl which is the crux of the Daddy dynamic. Every Daddy, be they male or female, is responsible for a little unless they are practicing to be a Daddy on their own in preparation for a little. That requires self-exploration which Kakashi seems to have tried to do.”

I nod but the look of starting to be overwhelmed must have been evident on my face because Kiria changed gears.

“I can’t speak for Kakashi and his feelings with accuracy so my focus is on establishing you within this potential dynamic and testing to see if you and he can support this type of relationship.”

Taking in a slow breath she asks, “I’m going to ask you questions and I want you to respond honestly using the first emotions you feel instinctively.”

I nod.

“If you were sitting here waiting here for Kakashi and you spotted him walking up what would you want to do?”

Looking out on the crowd I concoct the image before speaking in a soft embarrassed voice. “While he remains at a distance I start to fidget and bite my lip. Once he is close enough I can make out all these features, I jump up and run to him calling his name before jumping up for him to catch me as I wrap my arms behind his neck.” Blushing furiously, mortified I would ever admit that, I sit in silence with my head bowed down.

Not skipping a beat, Kiria asks another. “He comes back to your place after being gone on a mission that took several days. He finally arrives around dinner time three days later than he had anticipated in the note he wrote when he finished his mission and sent it out. What do you do or what had you done?”

Raising my head I look forward without really seeing as my mind recalls the image of the flowers on the table. “I would have cooked every meal from the time he said he would arrive until he actually arrived. When he didn’t show, I would have boxed it up and given it to someone in need the next day as I would have only wanted him to eat something fresh. When he did finally arrive I would have pouted and acted a little mad while inside I would be euphoric. Being also slightly needy I would demand all his attention that day and the next to make up for not arriving when he said.”

Firing off another question without hesitation Kiria asks one final thing, “Would you have the heart to love him even when he doesn’t love himself? I don’t love him on the surface I mean love his happiness, his pain, his weakness, his fuckups, his injuries, him as he ages, his insecurities, everything. Do you think you could do that?”

We sat in silence for several minutes as I recalled our past over the last month. Since I was still trying to sort out how all this came to be it was hard to admit what I felt for Kakashi resembled love since the only love I had was for my father and it was nothing like this. Turning to look at Kiria, I told her the truth. “I’m not sure I can answer that because I’m not completely sure what that kind of love looks like. I’ve only ever loved my father and this so definitely not that type of relationship.”

Kiria smiled and brushed my cheek with her hand. “It is and it isn’t, but that’s a good start. Now I have an idea of what type of relationship we need to work on.”

I cock my head and look at her questioningly. “You do?”

She nods and winks. “Yep. You are a complete brat. My favorite kind.”

The rest of the day was spent discussing the different types of Littles, the behaviors of the brat type, and digging into more of my feelings about the things that had happened between me and Kakashi; what I wanted to do but hadn’t, what I hadn’t done and should of and how better to convey my feelings to him within my own comfort zone. By the end of the day my head was swimming with information but I felt lighter. It was nice to have someone to talk to that didn’t treat everything like gossip they were entitled to - nothing against Ino and Sakura mind you.

When I got home, Pakkun was waiting on the bed for me with a rolled-up scroll.

“This arrived while you were gone. It’s from Kakashi.”

Sitting down I hurriedly unroll it.

$Name,

You should be out of the hospital now. I hope you are taking care of yourself. I am a quarter of the way to the destination and have to say training you is far more enjoyable than this. Try not to spoil Pakkun too much or he will never want to do any real work.

Kakashi

I smile slightly and shake my head. “Dismissive jerk.” I stand then and place the scroll on my desk before getting out paper and pen to respond.

Kakashi,

I am better thank you and am keeping busy. Tsunade has me training with Jiraiya in your absence and it is rather educational. I am interested to see how what I am learning changes our training sessions once you come back. Please be careful and stay safe.

$Name

Though not a lie, I wasn’t ready to divulge my feelings -especially not on paper. Rolling it up and sealing it, I turn to Pakkun. “Can you make sure this goes out after I leave tomorrow to train with Jiraiya?”

“Of course.”

I come over to the bed and pet Pakkun’s head affectionately. “Thank you Pakkun, you are a huge help.”

He just pleasure grumbles.

Suddenly tired, I change into pajamas and headed to bed. Tomorrow, I imagined, would be just as eye-opening as today. I would need to sleep to be adequately mentally prepared. Nestling with my arm tucked around Pakkun, who began to snore like a small pig dragon, I drifted into a dreamless sleep. 


	19. Daddy Kiria Lesson 2 | Day 2: Ground Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good Thanksgivings. I wanted to give a heads up that with Christmas around the corner, I invested in some adult inspiration that I intend to try to use to fuel some holiday cheer. One of these inspirations does involve this gorgeous white haired devil. 
> 
> It is possible that my ambition will exceed my execution abilities since my goal is to post daily for December (and for multiple fandoms a day) . We shall see how successful that is 😆. That means this story may have a slight lag. I promise you the content I am thinking of (should it arrive on time) will be worth it.
> 
> Just bear with me ❤️
> 
> Lots of love  
> J/R

Day two found me in Kiria’s home with ink and paper seated at her table.

“The most important thing in any relationship besides mutual feelings of affection are ground rules and expectations you have or will be communicating. That being said, we are starting out with expectations since we can’t create rules if we don’t have some form of boundaries. It will also help me understand your comfort level and help guide your acceptance level of this type of relationship.” Kiria said as she paced back and forth before coming to an abrupt halt and facing me.

“First, how much experience do you have with the opposite sex on an intimate level?”

Looking down at my paper with red cheeks and nose I quietly say, “Not much.”

She slaps her thigh with her hand. “Be. Specific. Have you kissed a guy?”

I nod.

“French, regular, peck, or cheek?”

“Not French.” I feel myself getting even more red.

“Have you been groped or felt up?”

I shake my head. “I panic when they try. It doesn’t feel right.”

Continuing to fire questions Kiria asks, “I take it you haven’t been naked in front of a guy or shared touching of private areas either?”

I shake my head violently.

“Oh boy. Okay. Have you ever wanted a guy to be sexual with you or have you ever wanted to be touched or intimately interact with a guy before?”

Thinking back to when Kakashi and I were in my house together “hanging the painting” I nod sheepishly.

“Reeeealy? When was that and what happened?”

I recap the story and she hums while smiling. “There may be hope for you yet.” She asks more questions. “Has there been a time where you wanted Kakashi to comfort you?”

I nod without hesitation.

“Hold you?”

I nod again.

“What about tell you he has feelings for you?”

My eyes widen and my mind goes blank leaving me unable to process that concept or respond.

“I see. You aren’t there yet.” Walking to the table, she sits down reverse in the chair before taking the ink and paper and placing it in front of her. “I’m going to make a list and you are going to red out loud each item and do three things: tell me how it would make you feel, if the answer is yes and if not cross off anything you aren’t comfortable with at this moment.”

I nod and she begins. When the page is full on one side she stops and slides it to me saying, “Now before each one you have to say ‘Do I want Kakashi to’ and then each item I wrote, got it?”

I nod and look down reading the first line aloud. “Do I want Kakashi to compliment me in private or in public?” I think for a moment before responding. “Yes to both, though more

In public than private. Something about him saying nice things in public excites me and makes me feel like he sees me and is proud of me. That recognition makes me want to do more things that give that same result.”

Kiria smiles “Next?”

“Do I want Kakashi to tease me verbally in public and in private?” I think back to all the conversations we had and realize that even the times he teases me negatively he isn’t being hurtful and I am forced to accept that I miss having that connection.

“Yes to both but I would want him to tease me playfully and never tease me harshly.”

“That’s good! Write that down on a separate piece of paper. That will be ground rule number one.”

I do as she says before reading the next one. “Do I want Kakashi to tease me physically in private, public or both?” Turning my head I ask, “physically how?”

She winks, “technically that is up to you to define with him, but I will give you some ideas. Can he play with your hair, poke you, whisper in your ear, slide his finger up your arm/leg/under your waistband, lick your ear, and so on?”

The more she says the redder I get. The thought of Kakashi licking my ear in public or running his hand up my leg is overwhelming. Shifting to the other page with ground rules I write out my stipulations before reading the next.

“Do I want Kakashi to hold my hand or any part of my body in public or private? If so is it only when I initiate it or can he?” Thinking back to the concept of comfort, I give my feelings on the issue and then jot down that I am ok in private but in public I only want it if I initiate it.

I keep reading and writing down my stipulations as we go until the list is finally done. Looking up at Kiria I have a slight smile of triumph.

“Feel good?” She asks and I nod. “Good. This is only a start though. What I think you should do is show this list to him when he gets back and discuss with him that this could change as things change between you two. This will give him an idea of what you are comfortable with because it is his prime responsibility to only do things with you that are in your best interests. That of course requires you to admit you have some kind of feelings for him that warrant a more serious relationship.”

I scrunch up my face and set my lip in a worried bunch.

“Can you honestly say after everything you two have been through and everything he has done to show you small fragments of his feelings that you don’t have any desire to be with him in an intimate relationship?”

I think back to the bedroom after I came back from the hospital, the beautiful roses on the table of my clean house with the scent of him still in my sheets, and realize that I have not felt lonely or alone since Kakashi and I started this strange dynamic. Thinking back further I carefully reassess the moments where we could have been intimate and get the the same ache in between my legs and from my nipples as I am forced to see just how close we were to something more. My thoughts then switch back to the garden and him leaving the hospital and not saying goodbye before his mission and how hurt that had actually made me.

Looking up and into Kiria’s questioning eyes I say, “No, I cannot because even if I can’t label it as love I can’t say it isn’t friendship either. I definitely want to move towards something more but I’m scared of how to do it and being rejected.”

Kiria reached up a hand and ruffles my hair. “And if Kakashi told you how he felt even if it was awkward?”

Pursing my lips I closed my eyes a moment before opening them and responding. I want to believe I would accept but tell him we need to take it slow.”

She clapped her hands then and squeezed, “I’ll take it! Now, let’s work on your self-esteem and some other personal developments. You don’t give yourself enough credit. There is a lot to love about you and being a virgin that is inexperienced doesn’t change that. If anything that makes this more special for you both.


	20. Time Waits for No Man

“Two days left and he is either going to make a glorified entrance or be a glorified idiot.” Kiria grumbled to Jiraiya who stood next to her in the kitchen after one of her final sessions with $Name.

“I have faith he will make it but I also have no doubt he is going to make himself look like a glorified idiot.” Jiraiya’s response was matter of fact and Kiria sighed.

“That’s why I have a contingency plan.”

Jiraiya looked at her curiously sideways.

“That’s right. All we have to do is get to him first which means we have to control his destination.”

“Why do I feel like I’m going to lose sleep over this?” He moped.

“We all are you big pervert. Now shut up and listen.”

——

There hadn’t been a day or minute that passed where Kakashi didn’t know to the second how much time he had left to make it back for $Name’s birthday. Sure he had blown it off as no big thing to Tsunade, but inside he was a wreck when she told him.

What should he get her? What would she like? How should he give it to her? Would she even accept it? Should he tell her his feelings or just leave things as they are?

After feeling some rejection in the garden at the hospital and his subsequent rapid exit from town, Kakashi found that subconscious guilt was the second worst kind of torture imaginable; second only to Tsunade being right about him being sure he should leave and knowing she would never let him live it down should he admit to it. 

It hadn’t sunk in until the second day on the road how much he missed having her around. Her innocence kept him grounded. Her wit challenged him and forced him to look at her like an equal instead of his superior or inferior. Then there were the swirling emotions that roiled and raged in the depths of her eyes changing their color depending on her mood. When she was excited the lowlights brightened. When she was mad her highlights darkened. She was the epitome of turbulence and fragility all compressed into an independent and mouthy frame that no one could tame. No one, he hoped, but him.

The more he had witnessed the array of her personality the more he wanted to touch and indulge in every layer he could peel back. Yet here he was, stubbornly doing an escort mission to “help teach her about her emotions” while he punished them both for his frustration at not being able to get her to understand his feelings and the ones he hoped she had that mirrored his.

Now, as the mission came to an end and he found himself two days away from a complete disaster, the only thing that kept him going was the thought that when he made it back things would be different. He would be different. Yes he wanted her to fulfill a role that he hadn’t realized he had been open to, but backing her into a corner wasn’t the way to do that. If it was one thing he realized with almost two weeks of time on his hands was what his actions looked like from the outside. No matter how you viewed them, he had been in her face with every major attempt and that hurt him the most.

How much of her last episode had been his fault? Had he pushed her that hard? Nothing suggested she would have collapsed if he hadn’t pushed her. Groaning inwardly, he wrapped up the final details of his mission and headed home. Two days should be enough if he ran straight through now that he didn’t have to make stops. Hell, he had stayed up two days straight just watching over her in the hospital so this should be easy especially given how much anxiety he had about making it in time.

——

Two weeks had gone by fast. After day two Kiria and I had delved into my emotional onion as she called it pulling back layer upon layer of hesitation and finding out exactly what I was looking for while trying to determine if Kakashi was the right fit and where exactly I fit in with the Daddy dynamic.

Having established a deep seated need to cling to the vulnerable little girl side of me that my father had cherished while exerting a more dominate adult set of needs and emotions I now brandished a familiarity with myself I had never felt comfortable embracing until now.

One question still remained and that was wether my knew found knowledge would hold up against Kakashi’s presence or if it would crumble and I would revert to how I was before he left.

At first the thought of meeting him again when he returned upset and angered me. Having finally acknowledged I had some form of attraction to him, I was hurt that he would just leave me to handle things on my own after having stuck by me this entire time.

Coming to that reality, Kiria had smiled. “Don’t be surprised if you tell him all about that when he comes back. I know I would. Things like that are useful weapons, just realize they may have unexpected consequences so broach them with care.”

I had filed that away and continued with the lesson taking the advice with the sincerity it had been given without question or complaint.

Now, with the morning bringing my birthday and no sign that Kakashi had returned, I began to wonder if once again I would be left behind by the man who had stood as a beacon of hope in my life. Curling up in bed, I snuggled into the covers deeply hoping the almost non existent scent of him would last the night since the flowers had died four days ago leaving nothing but the red walls as a constant reminder of him.

——

Tsunade couldn’t remember such profound silence ever in her life. With only the sound of the clock on the wall ticking to midnight as she sat behind her desk in the Hokage’s tower, she was impressed with the many creative ways she had come up with to kill Kakashi the best time she saw him. In just a mere two minutes it would be $Name’s birthday and not a single scout had reported back with a sighting of that blockhead ninja.

Practically foaming at the mouth that she had trusted him and not chained him down herself, she did the best she could to remain calm and go about business as usual before the entire area got decimated in a whim. Twenty four hours and one one hundred and twenty seconds was all he had before he wished he had never come back alive.

——

At twelve o’clock sharp, Kiria was awoken by the soft tickle of whiskers on her face. Opening her eyes, she turned and stared into the small round eyes of Horus, her ferret companion who had been sent out on a very special mission. Rising to a seated position, she stroked his body before asking, “I take it since you are here the plan has moved into phase one?”

Horus chartered excitedly before muzzling her fingers.

Giggling softly she reached into the drawer of her dresser to her right and pulled out a small mass before giving it to the ferret who ate it quickly.

“That is good to hear. We might just be able to salvage this yet. Now go tell the others.”

Chittering once, the ferret disappeared leaving Kiria alone in her dark room. Laying back down she closed her eyes and waited, but when no one rushed into her room and the world outside remained quiet, she smiled and snuggled back into bed. Tomorrow would be interesting; at least it should be if everyone stuck to the plan. 


	21. A More Lovable Me

When I awoke, the room was still and full of light. Sighing heavily, I turned back onto my side and snuggled into the pillow. Despite it being my birthday I didn’t want to get up. Part of me had decided that since my room was empty of everyone but me, Kakashi wasn’t back so what was the point of even being excited.

Besides, opening my eyes and being surrounded by the beautiful crimson of his eye would only stab me through the heart turning something that both could and could not be into a harsh reality. Still, I also knew that it was only a matter of time before my beloved friends would barge in and force me to do birthday things against my will.

Breathing in the cold tranquility once again, I opened my eyes to a very unexpected sight. Sitting stock still on a chair that I distinctly remember not being there was a silver-grey puppy whose fur rose on its scalp much in the same way Kakashi’s did on his head. Wearing a black skin-tight bodysuit that stopped at his hindquarters and front paw sleeves of the same material he sported a headband that tilted much like Kakashi’s as well. The only difference was it stopped before it covered his one beautiful crystal blue eye.

Staring at the puppy for several moments I decided its lack of movement had to mean it was a stuffed animal. Sitting up I reached out to pull it into my arms when it jumped forward into my lap and started licking me furiously as its tail wagged back and forth.

Laughing, I pet it’s head and snuggled it against me.

“My goodness, how did you get in here and who do you belong to little one?” 

The puppy then began barking at the chair repeatedly.

Looking to where he was focused, I saw an envelope on the chair where he had been sitting. Holding him with one hand, I grabbed the envelope with the other before bringing it to me and opening it.

$Name,

I am sorry I cannot give this to you myself as I am not yet there but I wanted to make sure you had something that would keep you safe and remind you of me when I cannot be there. His name is Shirubāurufu and he is still very young, though he has quite a remarkable personality much like yourself.

I hope to be back soon. Have a wonderful birthday until I get there.

Kakashi

I had not realized tears were in my eyes until Shiru started licking them away. Cupping his face, I kissed the side of his nose before placing him on the ground and getting up to dress.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all. The only way to find out was to start where I had left off the day before.

———

With Shiru in tow, I headed for Kiria’s. I needed to make sure I was ready for whatever happened when Kakashi came back so a reassuring recap was necessary.

Reaching her door, I knocked excitedly.

“Come in.”

Opening and closing the door quickly, I rushed inside with Shiru who speeds past me and starts running and barking around her kitchen as a high-pitched chitter echos out.

Racing into the kitchen with concern, I hear Kiria laugh as she watches Shiru and a ferret play tag boisterously around and over the furniture.

Before I could scold him, Kiria’s amused voice welcomes me. “I guess happy birthday is in order. I see you like your gift.”

I look at her curiously as she waves off my concern.

“Kakashi arranged for the acquiring and delivery of this little monster with me before he left though finding him was all thanks to Chichiri over there.” Pointing to the ferret who is standing on his hind legs chitter furiously before jumping up onto Shiru’s face and skittering over his body much to the dog's dismay.

Giggling she continued. “It is my understanding from Chiri that Shiru was abandoned by his master’s clan when they were attacked and the village nearly whipped out. Somehow he found his way into the care of an old traveling merchant who fed him and sheltered him until he grew ill and unable to travel. Having come across the Izunaki Clan during his travels, the old man had contacted them to come to retrieve the pup and give him a home until a companion was found. Unfortunately, no one could seem to form a bond with him leaving him to grow up ostracized from people and human affection.”

“Tests on his compatibility show that he, being attuned to water, is strongest when partnered with someone who is a wind user. He also carries the blood of the Tentēru though it is unknown how this affects his power. Being curious and bored, Chiri came upon him shortly after Shiru arrived as he is a messenger of sorts for me and keeps me up to date on the comings and going’s of things most people don’t care about.”

Fascinated by his story, I can’t help but ask, “If he is so adverse to people why is he so welcoming of me? We have never met.”

Turning her head and winking, Kiria lets me in on the secret. “That isn’t true. You may not have officially met but Chiri convinced Shiru after you and I met to tag along with you unknowingly to see if he might want to be a companion for someone ‘so like himself’, Chiri’s exact words. Curious, but hesitant, Shiru has been following you unknowingly ever since and only revealed his presence last night after he agreed to become your Ninken.”

Turning my head to watch the two snuggle down together I find myself speechless.

“They are excellent judges of character. My guess is he found something in you he could relate to that no one else could. Something was written in your flow that no one but he can see. Whatever the reason you and he are partners now. Take good care of him and make sure to thank Kakashi for giving you a much more lovable version of himself.”

I couldn’t help but laugh heartily at the truth of that statement, knowing full well Shiru and he would butt heads once it got out.

Suddenly feeling warmer and less anxious on the inside I smiled and let out the residual tension in my body with a sigh.

“Don’t worry so much he will be back, and when he is you will be ready.” Kiria reached out then and pulled me in for a one-armed hug.

“Thanks, Kiria, I needed that.”

“I know you did. Just remember you have lots of people and friends who love you. One man shouldn’t change any part of that. Especially one who is this stubborn and emotionally constipated.”

I laugh again. “You are right. Guess I should make the best of today and be ready to give him hell if he doesn’t make it.”

Slapping me on the back hard enough I wince, Kiria encourages me, “That’s my girl! Now get outa here before these crazy savages tear down my house.”

I nod and turn towards Shiru. “Come on Shiru let’s go. We got other places to be today!”

He barked and then turned to lick Chiri who places his small paws on Shiru’s face before placing his nose to the dogs.

Smiling that both of us seem to have found the family we had always wanted, I head out of Kiria’s home with a lighter step ready to take on my friends and their crazy plans for today.

———

No sooner had the door closed than Kiria turned to Chichiri. “You know what to do.” The ferret nods and then scurried up the counter before disappearing out the window. Now it was just a race against time and it would take all parties involved to keep this a smooth operation.


	22. Not So Smooth Operator

Having been bred for tracking, assistance in espionage, and item recovery, Chichiri use what some referred to as hōkuai (hawkeye). Partnered with a form of heat sensing, limited sonar capabilities, and a heightened sense of smell, the small rodent found Kakashi on his way back to the village very quickly. Though still close to a day away, partnered with Pakkun who was still hanging around $Name’s house, the two were able to reach him and give him the run down before he made a complete idiot of himself.

Though exhausted when he finally got back, Kakashi followed Chichiri’s instructions to a T knowing full well he didn’t want the wrath of two of the village's most influential women reigning down upon him as soon as he entered.

Knocking once on her door at almost ten at night, Kakashi entered Kiria’s home and headed straight for the living room knowing full well she was waiting for him.

“Had I not known you so well through our various encounters protecting this village I would have let you burn from this mess you almost made, you do know that right?”

Kakashi came to sit in the chair across from her with his head slightly bowed as her eyes bore into his face.

“You are also EXTREMELY LUCKY Jiraiya asked so nicely and that I happened to acquire quite a fondness for the girl in the process.”

Kakashi continued to say nothing.

“Tell me, how do you plan to make things right? You have to know she has very strong feelings for you and that you needing to verbally validate them and not trusting her to tell you with her actions or her body is selfish and detrimental! You almost killed her! Do you realize that!”

Placing his head in his hands as he bent over in shame, all Kakashi could do was take her words and swallow them raw. 

“You didn’t. Did running away help? You have to know if we hadn’t been here you would have ruined her for life with that little stunt! You selfish child.”

Kakashi raised his head and glared at her.

“Don’t you turn that eye on me? Turn it at yourself. You caused all this and now you owe us for helping us fix it.”

Acknowledging his anger at himself, Kakashi softened. “What do you suggest I do?”

“You are such a lucky little shit. I should have trained her properly. Instead, I held onto the shred of dignity you somehow still have in my eyes and will allow you to train her yourself but only with my help.”

Kakashi nods.

“You will do nothing without my instruction until I deem you fit to take control do I make myself clear?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good, and to make sure that stays true or that little puppy ‘you’ gave her will make sure you keep yourself in check. You are welcome.”

“Thank you Madame Kiria.” His voice monotone.

“Oh shut up you insolent prick.” She sighs exasperated. “You are lucky I have such motherly love for you. Now, go see her for the last few minutes she has of today, and don't you dare make a move. If she does that’s fine as long as it isn’t sexual. You two aren’t there yet.”

Kakashi disappears then, leaving Kiria exhausted but hoping for the best. He had made it just in time. Now it would be up to the two of them with only situational guidance from her as was necessary to carry them through.

———

Long before Kakashi reached the door, a crystal blue eye locked onto it unblinking as the body it resided within remained unmoving so as not to wake his master for something that wasn’t a threat. That didn’t mean that the person who opened the door was taken by complete surprise to find a blue chakra orb illuminating a canine face ready to tear their throat out should the intruder misstep.

Hesitant already due to the unnatural level of chakra emanating from her room Kakashi knocked once first softly before deciding to pick the lock and enter. Once the door opened, however, he stood stock still trying to assess the threat level of what he assumed was the Ninken he had “given” her courtesy of Kiria.

“It’s fine,” Pakkun said in his and Shiru’s mind as he hopped into the ledge of her open window.

Glancing up without moving, Shiru retracted his chakra and closed his eye.

“He can see auras and chakra levels allowing him to gauge the threat level of anything living,” Pakkun said quietly.

“I see,” Kakashi whispered as he walked towards the bed abs reached out his hand to ruffle the fur between Shiru’s ears.

Shirt, having none of it, opened his blue eye again and bared his teeth letting Kakashi know exactly what his tolerance was.

“He knows you aren’t a threat but you ARE trying to disturb his master.” Pakkun pointing out the obvious.

Kakashi nods and moves closer to $Name’s sleeping face before kneeling to get a better look. She seemed so at peace sleeping there that he was hesitant to wake her, but glancing back over his shoulder at the clock he knew he only had just over a minute to spare.

Pointing a finger at her face, he called forth a sliver of wind that rustled her hair and tickled her nose. Shuddering slightly, $Name shifted and tries to pull the blanket up to her chin more in her sleep but she was thwarted by the pup weighing down the blankets.

Putting a little more breeze to it, Kakashi tried again and this time she whined slightly and opened her eyes.

Smiling and giving her a slight wave before saying “happy birthday” he made good on his promise but just barely.

——

Waking up due to a sudden chill, my mind froze for several seconds as it tries to process the image of Kakashi in front of me waving and saying happy birthday. Unable to think for several minutes I was only able to assume I was just dreaming still with how exhausted I felt.

Making the most of the dream I thought I was having, I did every irrational thing I could think of. Wanting Kakashi to return as badly as I did and finally coming to terms with the idea that I had an attraction to him I acted on dream induced courage and scrambled out of the bed and into his arms; my arms wrapping around his neck as my sudden movement bowled him over backward causing a groan to come from somewhere in the bed as Shiru was shoved to the floor.

“Kakashi you made it.” My tired voice eeked out. “Thank you so much for the gift. Kiria said to tell you it was a more lovable version of you.”

Not giving him a chance to react I wobbled up and planted a kiss on his cheek before nestling up against his solid warmth and tucking my face into his chin.

“I’m glad you are at home. Now you can stay with me forever.”

After that was a blank.

————

She had looked so cute just waking up but the moment her warm, soft body slammed into his he was frozen in shock as Kiria’s words echoed in his head.

It was okay if she made the moves on him but not the other way around. Trying to stay calm he went to brace himself to sit up when her soft, slightly moist lips came to press against his cheek as her sultry voice rang close to his ear.

“…now you can stay with me forever.”

Unable to process her uncharacteristic affection or control his body's reaction, he lay there stiff as a board with her half draped over him and her lips dangerously close to his sensitive neck. Closing his eyes, Kakashi tried to think of anything but the predicament he found himself in at that moment. He needed to get up and out her back in bed but the larger portion of him didn’t want to.

He has missed her more than he had realized and had selfishly craved her attention just like Kiria said so why deprive himself of this small moment of victory?

That’s when the sound of the fridge opening caught his attention before a popping sound broke the silence as four padded feet came to stand at his waist. Confused about why Shiru would be carrying a glass bottle of water and why he would stop between his legs all came into view at one vivid moment of clarity.

Tilting his head sideways, Shiru knelt and lowered the bottle to Kakashi’s pelvis before turning the bottle of very cold water on its side and, with indescribable precision, pouring it all onto Kakashi’s pelvis without a drop pouring onto $Name still draped over him. 

His eyes going wide as he did his best with his free hand to cover the sounds that tried to escape his mouth Kakashi was temporarily at a loss for words, which were happily supplied by Pakkun.

“He sensed a high level of energy coalescing in that spot and your aura went from silver to crimson in that area suggesting an abnormal amount of heat. Concerned it might burn $Name, he decided to put cold water on the source to snuff it out.” Smiling as he says it, Kakashi just looks up and glares at both his Ninken and the one that did look like a much more lovable version of him as Shiru lolled his tongue abs waged his tail as he stared back at the two.

Realizing he had lost this round now that his mind was much clearer, Kakashi did his best to gather $Name carefully into his arms before replacing her on the bed and under the covers.

Tucking her in but not moving from her side despite being inappropriately wet, Kakashi looked at Pakkun and asked, “Can you grab me a pair of bottoms from the house? I can’t head home like this.

“Right.” That was all he said before disappearing out the door.

“It would be best if you left some clothes here in the future. I need to get accustomed to your scent anyway and I guess I can tolerate you being here so long as you behave.”

Looking towards the dog as he walked to the foot of the bed and flipped down with his eyes closed, Kakashi raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Fortunately, Pakkun was quick about retrieving his pants so Kakashi changed in $Name’s bathroom quickly before walking over to her bed and reaching down to run his hand over her hair.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

Stroking her hair it broke his heart to leave again even if it was just to go down the village away. Sighing heavily he pulled his hand back only to have $Name groan and grab hold of it pulling him over her body as she turned to face the window in her sleep.

Scrambling not to walk on her, Kakashi now found himself pressed against the wall facing her with no easy way to escape. The rise abs fall of her chest both arousing and soothing as it tried to lull him to sleep.

“Just stay. She won’t sleep well now that she knows you are home subconsciously if you leave. It’s just one night. I’ll be here to make sure nothing happens.”

Grimacing at the edge of the bed Kakashi hears a fluctuating rumble from Shiru’s location suggesting the dog was either snoring or laughing.

Adjusting the best he could considering $Name still had his hand trapped in hers as she rested their hands between them, Kakashi closed his eyes and did just that.

Tomorrow would be interesting, to say the least. All he could hope was that he didn’t get injured in the process of waking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come share your love of this fandm and many others on my platform (Crestive Fandom’s) discord! https://discord.gg/FNAT9E8


	23. What The Heart Wants

I

hadn’t dreamt anything in a while. I had had nightmares here and there but ever since my father died I hadn’t had a pleasant dream I didn’t want to end. Tonight that changed.

After envisioning Kakashi coming home and wishing me a happy birthday just before midnight causing me to jump in his arms and kiss his cheek, my dream changed. I was washed in warm sunlight the next morning with my hand linked with Kakashi’s as he slept soundly. Fighting to remain unconscious as my mind slowly tried to wake up despite me not wanting to wake up and disrupt this simple intimacy between us that I secretly craved but didn’t dare to express in the open, I lay there with my eyes closed trying to grasp onto the surprisingly realistic elements of what my mind was showing me.

Maybe if I just don’t open my eyes…

That’s when I groan as two skinny legs come to rest on the bed and a skinny nose starts pushing at my back. Not being a morning person with a brain that registers much of anything once I first awake, I wasn’t able to immediately process the reality of Shiru pushing me with the level of my actual consciousness. As such, I didn’t realize I was actually holding Kakashi’s hand.

Filling in the gaps in consciousness and reality with the idea I was partially lucid, I groan. “Not now Shiru let me enjoy this just a little longer.” Then, wanting to believe I was dreaming because how could this be possible, I release Kakashi’s hand and scoot towards the spot where my mind has accepted he should be.

When my arm reaches out and my hand bumps against his chest, I sigh heavily and snuggle into him bending my elbows so my forearm rests vertically on his chest allowing my hand to rest on his shoulder.

When the pestering from Shiru doesn’t continue, I take a moment to savor my position. Feeling both indulgent and guilty that this is what my subconscious wants and I am taking it out on Kakashi in my dreams, I brazenly decide to work this dream for every second I have.

Craving his warmth and the feel of his strength that ripples over his body from every well-defined muscle, my hand at his shoulder begins running its fingers over its broad definition as I raise my head to his jaw and say his name softly and a little needy making sure to press my chest into the length of his side as I say it before kissing his jaw.

This was where he was supposed to roll over and roll me onto my back before kissing me and playing with my hair. That was most definitely not what happened.

An exceptionally loud and strained clearing of throat resounded in my ear as an unexplained male tenor slammed against my fantasy causing it to shatter like glass seconds before my eyes shot open and the world came into view awash in soft sunlight.

What I saw could not be cleared from my mind by multiple exaggerated blinks. Indeed lying VERY close to me, so close our faces almost touched, I found myself staring at a very pink-faced Kakashi who was staring so hard at my ceiling a hole should have formed.

Tearing my eyes from his face as my shocked mind rapidly tried to process what this was, I realized my body was exactly as I pictured, pressed firmly against his as my arm rested on his chest, though his breathing was quite forced and deep as he took long calculated breaths.

My mind begins to panic I was then torn in another direction as Shiru barked loudly on the floor dragging my attention to him and a set of Kakshi’s clothes hanging on the chair next to him.

Now officially mortified, I jerked my head back to Kakashi and gave him an uncomfortable once over with my eyes as I affirmed he was indeed clothed. That meant only one thing.

My face turning bright red I then jerked my body over to my side of the bed and pulled up the sheets so he couldn’t see what my hands were doing, despite them not moving from the ceiling, and placed my hand at my hips checking to see if I still wore pants and underwear. Sighing heavily when I found them still there I closed my eyes and tried to still my heart which was pounding uncontrollably.

“If you are wondering why I am pinned against the wall It’s because you dragged me here last night when I tried to leave after wishing you a happy birthday around midnight.”

It was my turn to stare at the wall, my mind racing in reverse over everything that happened only to stop at the beginning of the first dream and open my mouth in horror as it put the pieces of what I was experiencing into the outline of the dream to realize I hadn’t been dreaming at all. I was taking advantage only partially conscious of a very real situation I in no way was ready to admit to.

Unable to look at him or even stay in bed, I scramble out of the covers and the bed to fast walk into the bathroom where I slam the door and lock it before stripping and jumping into a cool shower.

I had to pull myself together. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything. Maybe he would just brush it off. Maybe he didn’t hear me call his name out loud.

“Oh god.”

Turning the shower colder I cursed. I was completely screwed. That’s when a knock came at the bathroom door.

“$Name, the Hokage wants to see us. I’ll be outside waiting. Just take your time.”

Unable to respond, I listen for the opening and closing of the door before collapsing to the tile floor letting the cold water pour over me in hopes it would grant me some sense.

What the fuck was I going to do now?

———

Why was getting dressed suddenly so hard! Rummaging through my drawers I throw clothes everywhere, including on top of Shiru who shakes them off before running around to gather all the pieces into a pile beside my bed? This includes underwear which suddenly looks all too plain to even wear though going without it is just not even an option; a thought that causes me to blush as heat rushes to my face and between my legs.

Digging even more furiously, I settle on a simple cotton one that doesn’t have anything on it making a note to go shopping for something a little less boring yet functional. Running into the same problem with a bra, I manage to find one that matches though it also needs to be replaced.

Now anxious that I am making us late as well as unable to find something other than my drab day to day clothes and training attire, I cyclone through the drawers looking for something to wear.

Eventually, I settle on a slightly embellished top that I had bought in a small village a few days ride from leaf village coming home from a successful training mission long before the incident. Though slightly outdated, it still fit well and showed a little more skin than I usually did. Paired with a set of high waters and my sneakers, I did a once over in the bathroom before heading out the door.

Just as he had promised Kakashi was waiting outside leaning against the building with his eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest.

“Sorry, it took a second.” That was all I could awkwardly say without looking directly at him.

“Well it was kind of sprung on us so I’m sure Tsunade will understand.” Was all he said leaving me slightly disheartened that he showed no signs of anxiety or awkwardness like I did leave me to feel slightly childish yet again.

As we walked, I tried to think of things to say to break the expectant tension, but everything sounded lame. Then before I knew it we were climbing the stairs to her office and I had lost any chance to smooth the ice before coming face to face with reality.

When we stepped inside I was surprised to see Jiraiya and Kiria hanging around the Hokage’s desk. I wasn’t given a chance to ponder this before the unamused gaze Tsunade was famous for fell on us.

“You’re late.”

Feeling I needed to justify myself I hesitantly speak up, “I…I had a hard time finding clothes. I seem to be a little behind on the laundry.”

A strangely muffled snort seems to come from Kiria’s direction but her hand over her mouth as her eyes twinkle suggests she has something she is choosing not to say, though both Jiraiya and Tsunade look at her sharply, Jiraiya questioningly while Tsunade has more of a glare.

“I don’t want excuses. Especially not from someone who is always late!”

Kakashi raises his hands in surrender.

“Now. Care to tell me how the mission went?” Tsunade’s tone was exasperated.

“It was a success. Nothing really to report.”

Tsunade’s eye twitched but she left his underwhelming recap alone. “And now that you are back what is your plan for continuing $Name’s training?”

“The man hasn’t even been back ten hours Tsunade why don’t you give him a chance to tie up some loose strings.”

Tsunade turned on Jiraiya. “He had enough time to come home and get some sleep before waltzing in here with his trainee slightly disheveled. I don’t see why I can’t hold him accountable for his responsibilities.”

That brought a bright red tone to my face at the thought that I looked on the outside how I felt on the inside and that Kakashi either was ignoring it or didn’t care.

“Tsunade look, you are embarrassing her. Give the girl a break it isn’t her fault Kakashi’s priorities are slightly unconventional.”

I can tell Kiria’s grin isn’t for me though I appreciate her stepping in and redirecting the conversation. What confuses me more is Kakashi choosing not to exonerate himself. Instead, he just lets jibe after jibe roll off as if they weren’t meant for him at all.

Instead, it’s Tsunade who looks at me before speaking.

“It is my hope that now that he is back, your training can commence. Kiria has informed me on behalf of Jiraiya that your training now only requires supplemental guidance from her so you should be able to resume your sessions with both Kakashi and I. That being said, you will still be required to check in with her regularly to ensure your emotional stability remains level. Is that understood?”

I nod.

“Good. Now as for you Kakashi, I’m requiring you to check in with Kiria weekly as well to compare notes so she can ensure you are correctly interpreting $Name’s needs and can develop her emotional strength in a healthy way along with her physical strength.”

Kakashi also nods.

“Good. Now if there are no further questions you both can get out of my sight.”

Seeing no reason to hang around, we turn and leave.

Once outside, I don’t stop walking I just continue down the steps focusing on a point in front of me instead of what was going on behind me. Once again an awkward silence clung between us and I didn’t have the faintest idea how to dissipate it.

“So I don’t always agree with what Tsunade says, but in this case, I think she is right. We should start your training back up as soon as possible. If you think you are up for it I know the perfect place.”

Leave it to Kakashi to create the only ice breaker that also forces me to stare my anxieties right in the face.

“I don’t see a problem with it.” Turning so my back is to the railing I turn my head and look at him but leave my body perpendicular to his.

“Alright just follow me then.”

And with that as our only communication since me hiding in the shower we head towards the training grounds.


	24. The Tortise and the Hare

Kiria had said to take it slow. She had said to establish what I felt and feel it out little by little so I grew accustomed to what it felt like to love and be loved. She told me I had a lot of trauma surrounding my father's passing and that I had a lot of gaps emotionally as a result. I had never learned to see men as both fathers and partners. I had only seen them as replacements for the man I had loved and lost. That meant the only love I knew was paternal and right now I had to learn what love was all over again while juggling the sensations that came with adult attraction.

Looking at Kakashi, or more realistically his ass, as we bound along the branches of the surrounding forest all I could think about was wanting to press his body against me in any ways possible. After waking up with our hands linked and my length draped partially over his, my body craved that contact despite him not reciprocating in any way.

In all honesty, him not doing anything was a slight comfort because it prevented me from feeling out of control like I was losing myself to something I couldn’t come back from. Though I wanted to indulge in those feelings and sort them all out, I didn’t want to lose myself entirely and stop being who I was. Having watched Sakura’s infatuation with Sasuke, I knew that type of love wasn’t what I wanted and right now I was stuck between what I wanted and trying to figure out if Kakashi wanted any part of it.

Kiria had hinted numerous times that my feelings weren’t one-sided, but there had been no clear indication from Kakashi on an intimate level to suggest he would want to be any more than teacher and student.

Too caught up in the maelstrom of emotional debates I was internally having, I misjudged my footing on the next branch. With only my toes touching down on the surface of the branch my weight was too much for the small purchase I had caused me to slip and fall. My body acted in impulse causing my hands to flail in an attempt to gain purchase while my body fell rapidly towards the ground. Panic filled me then and I tried to cry out but my voice was stolen by my sudden fear as my mind tried to determine a way to protect my inevitable impact.

Frozen and falling, I was only able to shield my face with my arms as I tensed bracing for an impact that never came. Instead, I found myself cradled in a princess carry against Kakashi’s chest as he knelt on one knee after darting down to catch me.

Opening my eyes slowly, my face blushed slightly as my eyes traveled up his toned chest to the sleek lines of his neck and inquisitive gaze.

“Everything alright? That could have been a nasty fall.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for catching me. I wasn’t paying enough attention to what I was doing.” The embarrassment I felt was clear though I hoped he couldn’t hear the slight waver in my voice as I became all too aware of how desperate I was to stay just like this.

He looked at me skeptically and I tried to put a firm look on my face but all I could focus on was how badly I wanted to nestle into the crook of his neck as he carried me to our destination.

“I’m not sure I believe you. Maybe we should walk the rest of the way.” Shifting his hands down he began to lower me to the ground.

“Wait!” My voice was panicked as my hands reached up and clenched the fabric of his jacket.

Stopping suddenly he looked at me with concern.

“I’m worried I…may have hurt my foot when I slipped. Could you possibly carry me until we get to the training grounds?” I hoped and prayed the hesitancy and timidness in my voice didn’t sound as needy or as guilty as I felt. I knew I was fine, but I also knew I couldn’t easily get to a state like this again of my own free will. I had to take advantage of an opportunity I had been given even if it killed me.

Kakashi looked down at my foot and then back up at me.

“Why don’t I take you back and have a doctor look at it. If it is injured-“

“Can you just carry me? I’m sure it will be fine once we get there. I just don’t want to walk on it right away is all.” My voice was abrupt and frustrated which must have caught him by surprise because his eyes went wide.

“If you don’t want to that’s fine. I’ll just wait here until I feel able to-“

I was abruptly cut off as my ass thunked down on the ground. Startled, I looked at Kakashi who had moved to kneel in front of me with his hands out to his sides slightly.

“Think you can get on my back okay?”

I didn’t answer. Instead, I shifted around my ‘hurt’ foot and sat up on my knees before wrapping my arms around his neck to cross over his chest. With my arms in the place, he placed his hands on my forearms and stood up carefully letting me dangle down his back.

“Wrap your legs around my hips and I’ll grab onto your legs to support you.”

I did so carefully and without complaint, biting my lip as his hands gently came to rest halfway up my thighs as they took the role of supporting my weight.

Embarrassed and elated, I bring my lips to behind his ear and whisper, “Thank you, you’re my hero.”

I had never seen Kakashi caught so violently off guard as that moment when he violently stumbled and had to reach out with one hand towards the ground to stabilize us before standing up and continuing to walk.

Though I couldn’t see his face, I did watch as his neck went from peach to the color of pink roses as we continued to walk in silence.

Giddy, I decided to indulge myself a little more. Bringing the side of my face to the base of his neck, I rested the bridge of my nose on it as my closed lips pressed against his shoulder; my eyes watching both his face and the world as it passed in silence.

When I did it I hadn’t anticipated my nose resting against the major vein in his neck, but now as we walked and he focused forward, I could feel the pulse of his body as it responded to my proximity.

His pulse was slightly elevated, his breathing forced, his eyes locked forward almost as if he was forcing himself to ignore everything but the road ahead and our eventual destination.

That just wouldn’t do.

Feeling drunk on heightened emotions, I pressed my left hand against his chest as I pulled the right one back to rest it on his shoulder. As soon as my palm rested flat on his chest I could feel the strong and rapid beat of his heart. Wanting to believe I was part of the cause of his current elevated state, I softly asked, “Kakashi? Are you feeling okay? Your heart is beating quite fast and you seem to be forcing yourself to breathe slowly.”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing. We are almost there. We can take a short break then.”

I pouted slightly. That wasn’t the answer I had been looking for. Removing my hand from his shoulder, I boldly brought it to his hair and began running my fingers through the short locks at the base of his skull.

“You should relax more. You just got back from a mission. I should have been more considerate of your condition and not agreed to-“

Again I was dropped unceremoniously except this time I subconsciously landed on my feet giving off no indication I was injured. Having been startled as I slid down his body when his hands released my legs, my grip on his chest also slackened causing my arms to slide over his shoulders and down his back before coming to rest at my sides.

Taking two steps away from me he looked dead ahead and said, “Glad to see you aren’t hurt as you thought. We will walk the rest of the way.”

He began walking then without concern for how I was, though having been caught in my little white lie I was more furious at myself for pushing things too far and forcing his hand.

Still, his actions didn’t suggest he wanted or would refuse similar contact only that he would dismiss it and remain neutral since the flush to his skin and the tension in his body suggested what he thought and what he said might be in conflict. 

Forcing myself to accept I wouldn’t get any further today, I decided to try to keep things slow and steady because what I had to lose was just as great as what I could potentially gain.


	25. He Said She Said

“She didn’t!” Kiria asked in absolute shock as she leaned onto her small kitchen table as she sat across from Kakashi with one leg draped over the other exposing a tasteful amount of flesh through her robe.

Kakashi just rolled his eyes and looked anywhere but at the jovial woman as he sat disgruntled facing her.

“My goodness. Seems she has quite a mind of her own.” Running her fingers across her lips as she smiled coyly she continued, “And you didn’t do anything but put her down and continue?”

Kakashi turned and glared at her.

“Poor thing. Seems you have your hands full. Care for some advice?”

Leaning back in his chair he linked his fingers and tapped his thumbs together.

“Set boundaries while pushing her buttons. Make her just uncomfortable enough that you force her hand. If she is brazen enough to test you then she is ready for some discipline even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she wants. She is a petulant child right now begging for attention. It would seem those weeks away worked out in your favor on a subconscious level.”

“Is that all I have to work with?”

Kiria sighs. “Alright, what is it you would have done in that situation?”

Thinking back Kakashi imagines what he would have liked to do. “When she told me she thought it was hurt I wanted to reach out and touch it, but not just to check it for injury. I wanted to tease her a little and see what her reaction would be.”

Looking at him critically, Kiria says in a monotone voice, “Go on.”

“When I found nothing, as I knew I would, I would have suggested I carry her but instead of a princess carry I would have had her piggyback me from the front just to see how adamant she was about being carried. If she was being spoiled or if she wanted to be spoiled.”

Kiria smirked. “That’s a tough one. Bold certainly but could have been too much though hearing her reaction I would guess that is exactly what she needed hearing how things played out.”

“Beyond that, I would have had to see what happened. Part of me thinks she would have become shy and gotten down to walk after telling me how unfair I was being as she punched me once gently. The other part, the part that knows she hides some dormant feelings, thinks maybe she would have taken it farther and forced me to shut her down possibly creating more problems.”

Kiria nods. “So delicate. What a mess you find yourself in. Still, I commend you for your resolve. You did the safe thing.”

Kakashi let out an exaggerated sigh.

“So what happened after that?” Kiria’s curiosity getting the best of her.

Kakashi shrugged. “Nothing. We got to the training ground and things progressed as normal. I showed her how to stabilize her wind control through moving water which would ultimately require her to focus entirely on her chakra control so the water flowed around her wind and the wind didn’t become the force that disrupted the water's natural flow.”

Kiria frowned. “Only you would cock block yourself.”

“I decided it was best if she put all that unused energy into something instead of allowing it to leak from her body like it was a sieve causing her to act on impulse instead of a solid deduction she wouldn’t regret.”

It was Kiria’s turn to roll her eyes. “I can’t argue with that. You never were one to mix business with pleasure.”

“That’s how people get killed.” His gaze was piercing and his voice strong in its conviction.

“Are you worried about her dying needlessly or you being the cause of her death?” Kiria reciprocated with just as much sincerity.

Kakashi folded his arms in front of his chest. “Honestly, both.”

“I see.” She makes an exaggerated face of concern. “Well let me know how that works out for you.”

“Damnit, woman!” Kakashi slaps the table with his hand and Kiria starts laughing heartily.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch Take. You just think too much sometimes. Not everything can be planned and you can’t protect everyone against every single eventuality. What you can do is be yourself which is all anyone who loves you truly wants you to be.”

Kiria placed her hand over his and smiled.

“What do you suppose she wants you to be right now?”

He frowns. “If I knew that I wouldn’t be here.”

“And if I were her I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere but with me. Even if I refused to admit it. You don’t always have to do something. Sometimes just being is enough.”

Kakashi squeezed her hand and then disappeared leaving a faint smile on Kiria’s lips as the only sign he was there.

———

What had seemed like such a good idea on his way there now seemed like a half-assed excuse now that he was standing at $Name’s door. Even more so when he went to knock and heard the shrill voices of an over-excited Sakura and Ino. Thinking he should just leave, Kakashi turned only to hear his name.

“Are you serious! Kakashi didn’t do anything except drop you on your feet!” Ino’s shock is so obvious the next building over probably knew about it.

$Name groans then and guilty as he knows he should feel, Kakashi can’t help blending into his surroundings and listening more.

“Did you push the issue or chicken out?” She asked $Name with a slightly accusatory tone.

“What was I supposed to do? He wasn’t phased. Maybe waking up next to me wasn’t such a big deal and I am just being childish.” Her voice was sad and frustrated.

“I highly doubt that. Odds are he just didn’t know how to respond.” Sakura chimed in.

“Or maybe he was choosing not to respond because he didn’t want to overstress you emotionally. I mean you did say you overheard Kiria talking to Jiraiya about how she had reemed Kakashi out for causing your last episode. Maybe he is just being cautious.” Ino interjected.

“Maybe. Or maybe he just isn’t interested. Maybe it’s all in my head.”

“Do you want it to be all in your head?” Sakura asks and there was silence for several moments before $Name responded.

“I…I don’t think so. I mean, if I try to say yes my chest starts to hurt and I begin to feel anxious. If I say no then I still feel anxious but in a completely different way, I don’t understand. Why would both answers make me anxious?”

Sakura laughed quietly before Ino’s smug voice points out, “Cause you like him a dummy and just don’t realize it.”

There is a brief silence before Ino asks, “What would you do if you saw Kakashi flirting with another woman? Would you get jealous?”

Another long pause and then Ino says, “See? If you get jealous you like him. Ask Sakura she would know.”

There is a dull thump as something hits the wall before $Name calls out, “Guys! You will break something!”

Sakura and Ino just laugh until Sakura asks, “So, would you want him to kiss you?”

Kakashi never hears her answer though as another deeper male voice steps in.

“Isn’t that your supposed cue Casanova?”

Kakashi looks down and sees Shiru staring up at him wagging his tail.

“Does she know you talk?” He asks but Shiru just barks causing someone to come to the door and open it catching Kakashi by surprise.

“Speak of the devil look who it is $Name.” The teasing in Ino’s voice is as thick as syrup.

“Shouldn’t you girls be training or doing something productive?”

“Look whose talking fearless leader.” Ino turns to Sakura. “Come on let’s get out of here.”

Sakura jumps up and follows Ino out.

“Bye $Name call me later!” Ino yells as the two vanish out the door.

“Remind me why you guys are friends?” Kakashi tries to lighten the tension that is rapidly growing now that the girls are gone and it’s just him and $Name who sits tensely on her bed not looking at him.

“They are good people and always honest even if they aren’t honest with themselves.”

Deciding to follow this train of thought, Kakashi steps inside and closes the door before walking halfway into the room.

“So other than honesty what do you look for in the people you surround yourself with?” His voice is soft and quiet.

“Well, I prefer opinionated people able to speak their mind, but also have a kind heart. I don’t like people that speak their minds and their hearts are cruel. Words aren’t weapons.”

“I can see why you like Ino then.”

That gets $Name to laugh and the tension subsides a little.

“I also want to be around people with strong convictions who encourage others and provide strong support for people who can’t always be strong themselves.”

“That kind of explains Sakura.”

She smiles at that.

“I also want someone I can rely on and be myself with even in my private moments. Someone who accepts me and values me even when I’m not doing anything remarkable.”

Finally, she looks up at him and her eyes are filled with hesitation and doubt.

Wanting nothing more at that moment than to hold her and assure her he would do just that, Kakashi walks towards the bed coming to a stop just before the edge.

“After last night it seems like I might have that one covered.”

$Names eyes widen and her face turns to beat red. “You…how much were you awake for?”

She had been bold when she had told him to carry her. Now it was his turn after hearing all this to trust his gut and do the same because even if it didn’t work he would rather try and fail to force him to pick up the pieces than let it fall apart into nothing. 

Placing his index finger up to his lips for silence he bent down to her ear and whispered, “Long enough to hear you call my name.”


	26. Point Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because this story is going to start viewing off in a sort of Arc of its own unintentionally, I have opened up commenting to everyone. I would love to know what you think especially since this is the only story I have written that is 25 chapters in with no smut. 🥺 I’m weirdly proud of myself. Though I promise it will happen. I am not surewhere this will take the story but if necessary I will remove it and make it it’s own thing before continuing on with this train.

The gasp that came from her lips was electrifying sensing shocks down his entire body. Wanting more Kakashi pushed her a little harder. Tilting his head he ran the bridge of his nose from the base of her head to her chin while slowly whispering, “Now why would you call my name as you curled up against me if you didn’t want something from me?”

He lifted his head so his lips were barely separated from hers as he looked into her closed eyes and felt her sharp heavy breaths caress his skin.

“If you do, all you have to do is ask.” His fingers rise to trace along her jaw on the other side eliciting a shudder that ripples across her skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. “I am completely dedicated to your needs.” 

She whimpered then and it took everything he had not to crush their lips together and push her backward onto the bed. Instead, he rose slightly and took her chin before pulling it down gently and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“It’s also okay if you don’t need anything. I’ll be here regardless.”

It took reserves of willpower to pull back, turn around and head to the kitchen where he began leafing through things to see what ingredients she might have so he could cook and do something with his hands while detracting his mind. When he didn’t find much of anything he decided he would need to go acquire some.

“You aren’t taking care of yourself. Do you just eat takeout all the time? You know that stuff could kill you right?”

When she doesn’t respond, Kakashi turns around to see her hunched over on the bed with her head slightly bowed, face red, and hands balled into fists on her thighs. He can tell she is bothered by something but what has bothered her and how she is bothered remains the question.

Walking back towards her he stops again in front of her before reaching out his hand and caressing her cheek only to have her look up at him with embarrassment, frustration, and confusion in her eyes.

“If you heard that why did you just ignore it and make it seem like it was nothing?”

Kakashi released her cheek. “It didn’t seem right to ask abs I didn’t want to assume. I figured if you wanted me to know you would tell me why you called my name.”

Pouting she turned her head and looked away. “Why would I tell you? All you ever do is play games with me and toy with my emotions.”

Stung by that, Kakashi just stares at her for a few moments in shock before answering. “Wasn’t it you who called me Daddy first?”

“You weren’t supposed to take it like that!” She turned on him and yelled.

Eyes going wide Kakashi feels his chest clench. “I see. Well in the future you shouldn’t be so careless with how you use certain words. Otherwise, you might give people the wrong idea.”

Kakashi backs up and turns around headed for the door. He feels foolish and angry and wants to suddenly be both anywhere but here and in her face twenty-four-seven until she takes it all back.

“Wrong idea? Who's giving who the wrong idea? You are the one coming onto me and then brushing it off like it was a joke. You did it just now and at the hospital and the training grounds and…” $Name clutches the sheets and her voice wavers. “I don’t understand. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? What do you want from me?”

Torn Kakashi turns back to face her. He can tell she is scared and confused and emotionally unstable, but also knows that there is a plethora of thin ice between the two of them now and if he isn’t careful they will both fall in and drown.

Taking a moment to collect his thoughts he asks himself exactly that. What did he want? Yes the kinky, perverted side of him wanted her to submit and allow him to play out his fantasy of her, but there was also something that runs parallel to that and much deeper. Thinking on it he realizes more than anything he wants to be with her and make her happy while knowing he is the only man able to do so. He wants to love her and possess her entirely but to do that he has to be the one to take the risks.

“Don’t you dare touch her? She can touch you that’s fine.” Kiria’s words rang out seconds before he reached her.

Reaching out his left hand he reached up and took off his bandana before his right took her chin and lifted it so both eyes could stare at her as their bodies remained inches apart. “I want you. All of you and I will do whatever it takes to have you.”

The weight that lifted from his chest was liberating. He had not realized how heavy the burden of hiding his feelings was until now and with them out in the open it was her turn.

For several moments she just stared into his eyes as if she had been hypnotized. Trying to bring her back to consciousness was Kakashi ran his thumb over her lips slowly as he dove into the swirling emotions that were just about to break through her fragile resolve.

Deciding to give her one last push, Kakashi asked, “And what do you want?”

Her body tensed then almost as if she was about to flee, but something told him not to move just to wait.

“Name?” He whispered seconds before she scrambled up to a kneeling position and placed her lips at his ear.

“That’s a secret I’m only gonna tell Daddy.”

The shift in her personality was profound and caused Kakashi to visibly shudders as the coy words escaped from the lips of a woman who now mentally resembled a child. “I see. Then tell me, how do my feelings make you feel?”

$Name rotated side to side like a little girl about to share a secret.

“I like them. They make me feel warm and loved.”

After watching Jiraiya’s videos he guessed somehow she had transitioned into the mind of a person taking on the little role. Feeling he should treat carefully he let his voice soothing and calm. “That’s good. Would you be okay if I told you how I felt more often?”

She made an exaggerated and very child-like thinking face. “Here yes, outside I’m not sure. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

Kakashi nods. “That’s fine. Would you also be okay if I wanted to spend more time with you?”

She nods. “But right now I need food. Let’s go get something to eat. I don’t want to cook.”

Kakashi smiles. “Alright, let’s go.” Kakashi stands and backs up so $Name can get off the bed as well. “Any idea where you want to go?”

She shakes her head from side to side. “Nope! You pick.”

It all happened so fast Kakashi found his mind struggling to keep up. Trying to think of a place to go he also realized he had used what little money he had left from his mission the day before so he would need to stop by his place to get more.

“We just have to make one stop. I need to swing by my place and grab more money. I haven’t had a chance to replenish anything after my mission and out the training session.

Little $Name just nods. “Fine by me! Let’s just hurry my tummy is starting to hurt.”

“Right.

The two walks outside and Kakashi stops for $Name to lock her door, but she just keeps walking. Thinking this off he almost calls out and then realizes if she is in little space she isn’t thinking about responsibilities. That means everyday basics regarding her well being are his responsibility. Making a mental note to make a cast of her key so he can copy it, he opens the door and reaches inside to turn the lock knowing full well he can pick it and get it open again.

Catching back up to her they walk side by side a few moments before $Name reaches up and takes his hand saying, “I don’t know where I’m going. You will have to hold my hand and guide me.”

There is a sudden ache in his groin at her choice of words as the pervert side of him envisions him guiding her to do a lot of things. Flushing deeply, Kakashi holds her hand gently and leads her through some less well-traveled roads in the city to get to their destination.

When they get to his door he unlocks it quickly and steps inside flipping the light and holding the door so she can enter. “This is my home. I’ll just be a second. Make yourself comfortable.” Without thinking he turns around and goes to his dresser beside the bedside table and pulls it open before grabbing his wallet and organizing his money. With his funds sorted he turns around to see $Name still standing in his doorway looking nervous and tense.

Kakashi keeps his voice calm. “I got everything I need. We are ready to go.” He then walks up to her and holds out his hand for her to take not even realizing the little girl is gone and the woman he had promised to love is back in her place.

$Name doesn’t reach for his hand. Instead, she asks, “Did you mean what you said back at the house?” Her voice no longer that of a confident and cheeky little girl.

He drops his hand but keeps his face neutral never taking his eyes off her even though she isn’t looking at him.

“I did.”

Clenching her fits as she grips the fabric of her pants she hesitantly continues.

“Then if you want me and will do anything to have me-“

She lifts her eyes then and they are full of both fear and expectant love.

“-why don’t you come and take me?”


	27. Love and War | The Densetsu Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start forking and we come full circle as love is put to the test as potential war breaks out. Will love stand the rest of time or will chaos destroy even the smallest glimmer of hope?

The world suddenly came into sharp focus as the smell of her fear and desire slammed into Kakashi. It was as if by bringing her here he had made her vulnerable in a way neither of them had anticipated. The question was did she want to submit to him here like this or was she coming down from some delusion or high after taking on a more child-like personality that placed her closer to her raw desires?”

Red pulsed at the corners of his vision screaming that he was on dangerous ground, but the only thing he could think of was the woman in front of him practically sanctioning him to take her.

Forcing himself to ground in his spot by biting his lip hard, he spoke carefully. “I won’t take you against your will so unless you tell me you want me or want to be with me, I won’t force you in any way.”

The words felt like nails on a chalkboard. Though true, they hurt to say as they went against everything he wanted at that moment.

“What if I told you I-“

Then a loud banging came on Kakashi's door before Jiraiya’s voice came through. “Kakashi, if you are in there the Hokage needs to see you right away.”

Growling under his breath, Kakashi storms past $Name and opens the door with a scowl. “Don’t be pulling my leg for something stupid you old pervert.”

His voice is firm and serious. “I’m not. It’s important. Why are you so mad anyway?”

That’s when $Name peeks around behind him and waves. “Hello, Jiraiya.”

Jiraiya's face suddenly gets fan girl eyes as they jump from $Name to Kakashi and back again. “You didn’t tell me you had brought a girl home!”

“You didn’t give me the chance.” He says in as loud of a whisper as he can.

“Well don’t let me disturb you. I’ll just be waiting over there.” He points to a spot down the street and starts walking that way as he whistles innocently.

“Stupid perv,” Kakashi grumbles before closing the door and looking at $Name. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cut you off, but I have to see what the Hokage needs. You can wait here if you like I’ll come right back.”

He smiles trying to ease her worry but she still looks at him with fear.

“I promise I’ll come right back and we can finish our conversation or go out to eat like I promised. Whatever you want.”

She just nods and Kakashi's heart sinks.

“Okay then. If you don’t want to stay you don’t have to lock it. I’ll still come here first regardless.”

Then daringly he walks up to her and cups her cheek. “Try not to worry so much. You are so pretty when you smile.” He bends down to kiss her forehead.

The only problem is he missed her forehead when she reached up and grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down so her lips could crash against his. Instantly, Kakashi can feel her desperation laced with the remnants of the fire she had been trying to express moments before. Wanting to enjoy it while still reciprocating he tries to move his lips against hers but at that moment she tears them away and stares with murderous intent in her eyes. 

“Whatever she wants do not leave me behind.”

The anger in her voice mixed profoundly with the passion behind her eyes and Kakashi finds himself in awe. Wanting to shield part of himself from her intensity so he cannot be overwhelmed by it he pulls out his bandana and puts it on covering his eye before saying, “I will never leave you behind again.”

Her face softens and a deep blush colors her face before she turns around and stares at the far wall. “You better not.” Her voice is pouty and quiet.

“I promise.” 

His hand reached up and mussed her hair playfully before he turned and headed out the door to what he knows will be an onslaught of annoying questions.

Sure enough, when he gets to where Jiraiya is standing it begins.

“Did you kiss her? Did you did you did you did you?”

Kakashi just rolls his eyes.

“Was it her idea or yours?”

“Does it matter?” Kakashi’s annoyance clear.

“Did you try to do more?”

“Why don’t you just tell me what I’m walking into you sex-deprived lunatic!”

Jiraiya smiles. “I bet she falls for that blush on your cheeks every time.”

Kakashi pulls out a kunai knife and holds it to Jiraiya’s throat as they walk.

“As I was saying, It would seem we have finally established the source of the faulty information that almost wiped out $Name’s party. Not only was our information faulty but we might have a mole in our ranks.”

“Really? What makes her think that?”

Jiraiya’s face pinched. “Because when we caught up to the man we were supposed to be escorting, he was one of our own who had defected and had a strange tattoo of the sun as a yin yang symbol on his left shoulder blade.

“Interesting.”

“Quite. Tsunade thinks it’s a group of people trying to resurrect the Densetsu (Fabled) a group of the most talented people who tried to wrestle control from the government years ago. They wanted to divide the world into five zones where each zone inhabited a certain level of giftedness. Similar to a feudal society, the most powerful would rule on top. The top five most powerful would then control one of the five zones ensuring talent was properly distributed amongst the zone to keep talentless in check. Unfortunately, this meant the talentless were typically used for breeding and slave labor while the powerful abused their power and brought hardship to the realms around them.”

“If that was true, why did they attack $Name’s group?” Kakashi asked with confusion.

“Because absolute power corrupts absolutely and there is one thing power always wants. More power. The only way to establish this empire was to tax heavily those who couldn’t stand up for themselves and control all resources associated with survival. One of those resources also happens to be medics. Control the health of the country and you control the world. Their goal, Tsunade thinks, was to capture $Name and use her skills to acquire capital for the country and then breed that skill into others.”

Kakashi’s eyes go wide as anger fills him, but he barely has time to respond before a voice in his head blocks everything out.

“We have trouble.”

Kakashi’s head whips back the way they came. “Shiru.” He whispers in fear before taking off back towards the house. “Tell the Hokage we have intruders! Sound the alarm!” Not waiting for Jiraiya to respond, Kakashi races back.

“And here I told her I would never leave her alone and that’s exactly what I did.” Angry at himself for being lax, Kakashi prayed he would make it back in time and that Shiru’s warning had given him enough time to reach them.


	28. Mistakes Were Made | The Densetsu Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay sorry it took so long to get these out. I wanted to be sure I had a grasp on where I wanted this to go and how I wanted it to come back to the original concept before I just posted chapters because many of you know I just write from the seat of my pants. I have no plan and I just write whatever so I got a little stuck for a minute but I think this will turn out ok even if it's a little weak as a segway at this moment. Thanks again for all the support!
> 
> <3  
> J/R

If it hadn’t been for Shiru’s warning it would have been worse. No sooner had Kakashi left and closed the door then a low murderous growl reverberated through Kakashi’s place. Looking around frantically, $Name tries to establish where the threat is coming from, but it seems the only one who knows that answer can’t speak.

“Ten-o’clock.” A foreign male voice sounded in her head before a sharp nip comes at her heels causing her to jump to the ten o’clock position seconds before a knife whizzed by and stuck into the floor.

“Down”, the voice says again and this time $Name ducks so the knife sticks in the floor behind her and to her left instead of her arm like it seemed to have been aiming for.

“We have to get outside.”

$Name just nods before asking, “How do we do that?”

“By keeping your mouth shut and thinking not speaking for starters. I’ve got enough trouble sensing them and keeping you safe.”

$Name looks over at Shiru who is crouched on his stomach on the ground. “So it was you.”

“There isn’t time for this. We have to get to the door.”

Looking around, $Name found herself faced with the fact that, unless she wanted to destroy Kakashi’s house and possible others with it, her wind style wasn't going to be much use. She also didn’t have a sense of where the attackers were coming from though she definitely knew that they were targeting her.

Darting her eyes between the window and the door to find an opening. With only one path, the immediate path leading to the front door, available given the small amount of space in the room and the window completely suspect as it was the only other point of attack entry, $Name saw no other choice but to make a dash.

"Do that and there is a high chance you will be killed." Shiru's voice resounded in her head.

"Don't do it and I may be just as dead. Besides, if I get out of the house then I can yell for help. Maybe Kakashi hasn't gotten far." I thought loudly.

"He is far enough he won't make it. My estimate is two attackers and in reality, there is only one of us."

"Weren't you supposed to protect me?"

"Shouldn't you have gone with him?"

Stunned by the canines honesty, $Name clamped her mouth shut. It was true she should have trusted her instinct and gone, but she wanted on some level to trust Kakashi. Though she would never admit it out loud, she wanted him to protect her and to be dependent on him like she had been her dad. But she was a big girl now and he had other things he was charged with doing.

Still, why hadn't she just gone?

Shaking her head, she looked for anything she could use to block her path since she had never mastered shadow clone Jitsu so decoys were out of the question. Unfortunately, the only things in Kakashi's abode were a set of chairs, a table, and furniture too heavy to move in a pinch. Ruling out the blanket or the sheets, $Name did the only thing she could think of.

\---------

Kakashi had just rounded the corner when a cone of wind shot out of the window of his house and a door slammed. Within seconds there was the sound of scrambling and a dog growling before a female voice cried out in pain.

"Name!" He whispered loudly before running towards the sound; Jiraiya hot on his heels after relaying the message to a nearby Jonin.

When Kakashi got to his door there were dog and human footprints everywhere. There was also blood. Lots and lots of blood. The one thing that wasn't there, was $Name.

"You follow the path heading north, I’ll follow around the other way. Let's see if we can cut them off."

Kakashi nodded at Jiraiya before the two went their separate ways. He appreciated being given the path where the blood trail existed so he had something to follow and didn’t have to try to stay out of sight and track down $Name and her unknown attackers.

Scanning the area as he went Kakashi noticed continued signs of a struggle not to mention blood streaks along the ground as if something had been dragged or clawed. Wondering how an animal that big could have found its way into the village without anyone knowing was a surprise and one Kakashi would have to make a mental note to investigate later.

Picking up the pace, Kakashi was finally able to hear the sounds of a fight further up the path. Cutting at a diagonal he hoped he would be able to meet the flow of the fight before it managed to get out the North gate, which was where they seemed to be heading. Carrying an erratic pattern as bodies seemed to run one way and then cut across in the opposite direction, Kakashi could only assume the chase was intense or that the attackers had met with members of the Anbu who would at least be stalling them for time.

With a few short changes in course, Kakashi caught up to the fight just inside the front gate where there was enough clearance for a last-ditch effort to ensue, and what he saw came as a complete surprise. Facing off against four darkly clothed ninja of unknown origin was an unexpectedly large adolescent white nine-tailed wolf that carried on its back $Name. Looking closer Kakashi saw that one of the ninja lay dead in the Wolf's jaw; its throat held firm in its mouth as blood pumped from the veins that had been severed. The other four ninjas attempted to surround it, but $Name was keeping them at bay using her chakra, which by the looks of it had almost run out as she slumped and her arm shook.

Knowing his best chance to turn the tide was sneak attacks, Kakashi used his earth release to travel underground and attack from underground. Having estimated the exact distance to each unit, Kakashi appeared above ground behind the first opponent in just enough time to attack and watch as $Name was speared through the right shoulder and jerked off the wolf who threw the body in his mouth at the nearest attacker and spun around to try to chase after her rapidly disappearing body that slammed into houses and scraped across rooftops as it was retracted back to a point unseen.

Slicing through the enemy in front of him, Kakashi turned and joined in the pursuit meeting up with the wolf on the nearest rooftop.

"You are too slow and I am almost out of chakra. I cannot maintain this form much longer. Let the Anbu track here and we will give chase in the morning."

"They could be anywhere by morning! We can follow her now! I'm not letting her go."

Kakashi turned to give chase but his leg was suddenly held firm in the crushing grip of the wolf.

"Move and with the last strength I have I will break your leg and go alone tomorrow."

When Kakashi relaxed, the wolf removed his mouth and continued. "Fortunately Tsunade had gotten far enough in her training to give the girl a skill she didn't know she was going to need."

"And that is."

"She uses Yang release. That means that girl can control vitality and the very growth of something. By instructing her on how to transfer that vitality into another during the healing process she inadvertently gave her the knowledge to enhance the healing properties of her own healing talent by bolstering it with the natural flow of the air around her. Using the particles in the air that are made up of earth, water, and wind $Name can now create false skin from the world around her slowly as a way to temporarily cauterize wounds. That also means, because she hasn't perfected it, she will leave a bleeding chakra trail so long as she has to continue healing her injuries. If she is smart she will heal it slowly so no one notices how far along in her training she is giving us the perfect trail for me to follow. If she is unconscious, however, we may find it harder to discern her chakra trail from the natural flow of the world around her as it will not carry her distinct blood signature."

"By the smell of her chakra I can sense her wound is not fatal. She was also grazed on her side with a kunai upon leaving the house as we anticipated. The enemy was lurking in the shadows of a building across the street. As soon as we ran out, they aimed for her. I was only able to shove her part of the way out of its path, but in the process I too was injured. That is when that idiot of a girl decided to try to heal me and ended up causing a reaction within my body. By infusing me with Yang she ended up awakening the wolf spirit blood that had lain dormant within me. Though there was rumor a transformation was possible, one had not been seen in my clan for many years before its destruction. Now that it is active, however, it would seem I have limited ability to transform and even less knowledge of what else might come with such a development."

"Then how do you know you can track her?"

Shiru snorts and then activates his eye. "Because, white wolf, I can see the blue."

\--------

When Jiraiya had caught up to Kakashi and Shiru, the news around town wasn't any better. Small attacks had occurred all around the village as if a large scale distraction effort had taken place. Agreeing the best course of action was to circle back with Tsunade, the team headed back to her office for a report.

Though she wasn't thrilled with the news, the fact Shiru had a way to track $Name was oddly reassuring to her. Having Shiru explain several times the process he intended to use and the theory behind what the girl could do, Tsunade agreed that the three of them could head out before dawn. It took only a matter of time before the final details were hashed out and Jiraiya had gone his separate way with the intention of meeting them at the gate the next morning.

This left Kakashi alone with the mutt.

Having shrunk to his normal size, he looked just like an ordinary white stray minus the one blue eye. Though Kakashi wanted to know more about the canine's rumored illustrious past, the conversation was forced to the back burner as Shiru directed the conversation elsewhere.

"You are lucky I was there. It is my assumption they wanted to injure her enough to incapacitate her but not render her useless. That being said, her body has taken quite a physical and emotional hit. Though I was able to keep her stable while I was with her there is no telling what will happen to her mind if she is kept in captivity long. I expect you to keep up or stay out of my way. Do I make myself clear?"

"I thought you said you were almost out of chakra? Do you really think that tiny body has what it takes to bring her back in one piece?"

"Whether it does or doesn't I am the only one who can find her no matter where she goes. You, on the other hand, seem only good for loving and leaving her. Why didn't you take her with you? Did Kiria's instruction mean nothing to you? She needs to stay with you not be left in the house like some housewife. Do you even really love her?"

To be so openly condescended by a dog was infuriating, yet the mutt did have a point. He should never have told her to stay. He took for granted the fact that there had been no trouble since that original instance and got caught up in his own needs instead of being the person she needed him to be, yet again. Cursing himself, Kakashi turned down the road to his house with a heavy heart.

"Where are you going?"

Shiru's voice was incredulous and Kakashi looked towards his house and then back at the dog. "I'm going home to get ready for tomorrow."

Shiru shook his head. "This is why I'm in charge. If you wish to stay there fine, but I need to go back to $Name's house and familiarize myself completely with her scent. I am going to need to be able to act on instinct and not half baked emotions. Make sure you are here when it is time to go or I will leave without you, and Jiraiya if necessary."

He pads off down the road to $Name's house, his nose sniffing the road until he disappears from sight and Kakashi is left to sort out his priorities on his own.


	29. Pursuit | The Densetsu Arc

The pain. It was almost indescribable. It was both almost enough to cause her to blackout and so intense it kept her conscious. It radiated from her shoulder in waves and had been healed crudely. 

After the initial shock of being speared, being slammed into buildings from behind as she was jerked back what seemed like miles, and being knocked out cold once she stopped, $Name wasn’t in any hurry to open her eyes and notify anyone she was conscious. Instead, she focused on keeping her breathing even and slowly, painfully working to heal her wound at least internally so she regained mobility even if her flesh remained marred so whoever took her remained in the dark.

Thanking the stars Tsunade had taught her the basics of medical ninjutsu and being obstinate enough to train on her own during the two weeks Kakashi was gone, $Name had a workable grasp of small scale cell regeneration. 

Though her technique took it a step farther by using the oxygen in the bloodstream to create pockets of healing where localized cell damage could be healed while keeping the surrounding areas intact or reinforced with external methods - in her case a forced crude flesh repair done to prevent hemorrhage-, it could easily drain her reserves leaving her little chakra should she find herself in a pinch. 

The other problem was her healing required almost all of her attention because she had to, in a similar way to how Neiji could view chakra flows, travel the chakra lines in the body and stimulate the damaged areas using that chakra and the elements in the bloodstream that came from the earth -trace metals in the iron, oxygen, water, Etc. Breaking them down on a molecular level using the electric currents in each cell and the charge carried in her chakra, $Name could create a cellular patch of sorts that would cover the damaged areas and stimulate cell growth while mimicking the natural barriers like membranes and skin the body produced.

Limited by her reserves and current power level, however, she was deprived of the uninterrupted time and complete concentration she needed. Even with her captor or captors being quiet since she regained consciousness, there was no telling what would happen once her cognizance became known. As a result, she did the best she could to absorb the shock of being carried while recovering her strength and fighting capacity. Though terrified and fighting panic, she refused to be as useless as she was the first time something like this happened. 

——————

With the start of the mission leaving him with a splitting headache courtesy of one very angry Kiria slapping him full force across the face in anger so intense she couldn’t even talk, Kakashi had the feeling this would be a very humbling assignment. 

As promised, Shiru and Jiraiya were waiting back at the crossroads to Kakashi’s and $Name’s place. Though the dog seemed nonplussed, Jirai did his best not to laugh by covering his mouth causing Kakashi to glare at him in pained menace. 

“Of you two are ready?” Shiru turned and began running off telling both men, “According to Chichiri, the enemy was last spotted sixth kilometers north-north-east of here. They are traveling at a rather even pace, most likely accommodating for $Name’s injury.” 

“How would that rodent know that?”  
Kakashi said with surprise as his network hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort yet. 

At that moment a hawk cried overhead circling once before flying off in the direction mentioned. 

“How long have you known Kiri, Take? Don’t tell me you don’t know why she is called the Mistress of Shadow.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes. I just assumed it had something to do with her profession being a lady of the night.”

Jiraiya sighed heavily. “It actually has nothing to do with that. She acquired that name because her network of spies is not limited to humans effectively meaning she can glean information from any mammal or insect so long as they either carry her seal or she has come in contact with them before. Since animals have a lower memory retention her information isn’t always accurate unless they have her seal which stores the chakra energy of their memories so they can be passed along to creatures like Chichiri with advanced recollection. Over the years her influence has come to expand the entire continent so her eyes and ears really are limitless and most aren’t even detected in the shadows because no one suspects an animal.”

Pressing his hand gently to his cheek, Kakashi marvels at the knowledge.

“I should also tell you that because of that fact, she isn’t too keen on information leaks or situations where her information proves inadequate. Though she blames you for losing $Name she blames herself more for not leaving her with something permanent to protect herself with yes Shiru helped her and did the best he could but if she has left someone like Tsunikame she would have been better off in her mind.”

“Tsunikame?” Kakashi was now thoroughly confused. 

“Yeah, Tsunikame. You know. He’s the armadillo guard that she set at the bathhouse to guard it against people who might take advantage of women while they are bathing since there was an apparent increase in sightings of a dashing pervert sneaking around.” 

Kakashi’s eyes went blank as he envisioned the small-scaled, shelled, long-eared rat that always hung out around the bath. 

“Don’t make that face Tsuni is a force to be reckoned with. That shell of his packs a punch when he jumps at you full force. It’s also totally impenetrable.”

“I’m sure you would know.” Was all Kakashi said as they continued on their way in silence. 

———————

By the time night fell, the team was estimated to be fifteen kilometers from the group that had taken $Name but their stopping point proved problematic.

Seated around each other in a small clearing, Shiru stood chattering with a fox who had come upon the group before sunset. 

“It would seem, according to multiple sources, that they have sealed themselves in an abandoned house and warded the area with traps. The animals can’t get near in the dark and there is speculation they are using chakra dampening techniques to hide their intentions.”

“He really told you all that?” Kakashi asked curiously.

“No, but animals feel vibrations in energy, and those vibrations imprint themselves in their cellular memory and can be passed along chakra channels. While talking with him, I picked up on these vibrations which carried things like the feeling of fear and the sensing of something absent even though it could be touched. As a result, I do not think it wise for us to progress until they have set out for the day. Suki will alert us when it is time to go so try not to sleep too heavy.”

Shiru then circled the spot he was standing before plopping down and drifting off to sleep. 

“Can’t really argue with that. Wolves are the top predators in nature. I imagine he senses more than you or I could even comprehend.” Jiraiya lay down and fell asleep too leaving Kakashi to watch until a few hours before dawn when he allowed himself to sleep.


	30. Woman’s Best Friend | The Densetsu Arc

Lying her down roughly had been the kicker. Assuming they had a decent head start even with a tail, the blacked clothed ninja of the Densetsu had stopped to take a breather and eat. Nod ok we had Rhey dropped her on her side then a shot of pain radiates up into her shoulder causing $Name to groan. 

“Looks like you win, she isn’t dead or in a coma.” Man number one said.

“Doesn’t sound like she has many fights left in her. You sure you healed her up enough so she won’t be dead on arrival? You know we will be dead too if that happens.” Man two interjected. 

“Of course I did! I have enough skill to heal her completely but then she might escape so I just roughly knitted all the damaged flesh closed so she wouldn’t bleed out after we ripped the harpoon out. Man three spat back. 

$Name winces at the thought and bites her lip trying not to make any more noise. 

“We need to keep this short if she is awake. Get whatever you need to do done quickly. We leave in half an hour.” Man four commanded causing a scuffling of fabric, supplies and feet. 

Trying to stay focused but unbelievably tired and drained of chakra, it took all of $Name’s remaining strength to just stay awake. Knowing she needed to leave some type of trail that wouldn’t be cleaned up or hidden, she grabbed some with her teeth and cheeses it to a pulp before spitting it out by the base of the tree. 

If Kakashi was trailing her, which she hoped, she knew at least his dogs if not he would find it or be able to track it. 

When the time was up she was yanked back into one of their arms except for this time a bag was placed over her head. 

“Wouldn’t want you knowing where you are in case you get the bright idea to try to escape.” Man two jested.

“Just shut up and moth. The less we talk the better.” Man four barked out and the troop returned to silence. 

The only sign of their passing an ambiguous wad of chewed grass. 

——————

Though they had been able to successfully follow the trail $Name was leaving as she slowly leaked chakra in her attempt to heal her wound, the trail was getting thinner indicating either her exhaustion or far worse.

Trying not to think about it, Kakashi continued to scout for signs of who might have taken or what they might be up against but the trail was completely clean except for the chakra trail that only Shiru could follow.

With day two turning into day three, Kakashi couldn’t help being anxious.

“If we press hard tomorrow we might catch up to them before things get tricky. It seems there is a base of operations not that far to the east of our trajectory. If we can’t catch them by then we will definitely have our hands full.” Shiru remarked.

“And the possibility of catching them unaware at night?” Jiraiya asked. 

“There is a slim chance if we can circle around in front of them that we can cut them off, but we have no idea if they have added to their forces or have any type of safeguards ready to deploy. Being this close to home they may not feel the need, but it pays to be cautious.” 

The damn mutt was definitely right but it still annoyed Kakashi. He couldn’t help feeling slightly that she might have really found a cuter more reliable version of himself. The damn dog had been more reliable than he had during this whole mess.

“As far as my power I am not sure if I can summon it without her. She may need to be in physical contact with me and release her chakra into me for the transformation to take effect. If that is the case I could attempt to sneak in and find her so and I can share contact but if that doesn’t work we are both sitting ducks.”

“Well, we can’t wait for reinforcements,” Kakashi stated flatly. 

“And we know there are at least four of them.” Jiraiya 

“Guess that leaves only one option.” Kakashi swallowed his pride and leaned in 

\------------

Though at first, the loud, warning sound of the wolf was terrifying and unexpected $Name soon realized it was also familiar. Trying to look around without being too obvious, she shifted her head and slowly rolled her body to face the direction the sound was coming from. At least that was the plan but the origin of the sound kept changing. At first, it was behind and to the right, then a few seconds later it was in front, then the third time it was directly to her left and closer. 

Closing her eyes and turning to focus on each noise separately $Name was able to distinguish the calls weren't one but several wolves all working in concert as if an entire pack was out there. Not knowing where she was since the sack had been kept on her head until it had gotten completely dark, $Name had no point of reference or any idea if wolves were even native and hostile to this area. 

Now suddenly panicking that she would be trapped and mauled, $Name looked frantically around for a way to cut her bonds as the makeshift camp turned into chaos. Her captors, having temporarily forgotten about her, were shouting orders and attempting to light a fire in an attempt to bring some light and keep the creature at bay all the while the howls got closer. 

Desperate, $Name sidled up awkwardly to a tree before attempting to rub the rope around her wrists tied behind her back against the bark in hopes the friction would fray it enough to break. Faster and faster she rubbed as the brush around her began to break and shudder with the sounds of one of the animals stalking towards her. 

Coming to a standing position using the tree for leverage, $Name faced off the spot until a voice in her head asked, “Scare you?” seconds before Shiru popped from the brush with his fir matted and tail wagging. 

Collapsing back to the ground shaking, $Name’s feet washed through her like a tidal wave as Shiru walked behind her and began to bite through the rope. No sooner had he broke the bonds than a burst of blue-white lightning tore through the camp as blades of light arched in multiple directions. 

“Kakashi.” She whispered relieved. 

“Sorry, it took so long,” Shiru interjected her thoughts. “Sadly this isn’t a time for questions or reunions. We need to get you out of here.” Shiru shook his fur before howling which was the signal to the rest of the team that she had been recovered and it was time to leave. It would only be a matter of time before the entire base was barreling down on them with all this noise. 

“It’s fine. You are right.” Glancing back one last time at the spot where the lightning had come, $Name followed after Shiru until the camp was well out of sight. 

———————

Though used to working as a team, Kakashi’s ninken were slightly more primal during this attack than they had been during previous ones. It was as if the spirit of the wolf had absorbed into them and they had become part of the pack. Considering there were eight and Shiru made nine it wasn’t impossible to think the god wolf inside of him hadn’t influenced then vicariously through the chakra flows as if providing a buff to each one that would increase attack and agility. 

They also had become more efficient at independent attack as a group attacking and taunting the four black-garbed ninjas keeping them herded while limiting their mobility; an element that made it much easier for Kakashi to unleash his lightning cutter which illuminated the camp briefly as it tore through two out of the four foes. 

With Jiraiya and three of the dogs managing the others, Kakashi went in search of $Name wondering if she had been found and was safe. Not long after wondering, Shiru’s howl tore through the night signaling she had been recovered and the escape was underway. 

Wanting nothing more than to see her, Kakashi knew he also had a responsibility to support their rear making sure no one was following or trying to flank them from the side since the dogs were already picking up frantic movement from the barracks not that far away. With first light almost on the horizon as well $Name wouldn’t have the cover of darkness for long. 

Returning to the fight he assisted Jiraiya in dispatching the last two ninjas before taking any valuable information they could and cleaning the scene. That way even if they were followed it wouldn’t be easy to pick up their scent right away ensuring they had a solid head start before seeing combat another time.


	31. Rendezvous | The Densetsu Arc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because this story is rapidly evolving past its original concept, I will be renaming it during the next post. 
> 
> For those of you not subscribed or following this story the title will be:
> 
> Orokamono no Yokubō (Fool’s Desire: DDKakashi x lgReader SSC)

It would be nightfall before Shiru allowed $Name to stop. Even knowing she was exhausted and on the brink of passing out from how hard they had pushed as well as the exhaustive pain that resonated from her wound, he could smell the enemy everywhere in the forest and wanted to push as close to the borders of home as they could get.

It also concerned him that they hadn’t run into any of the Black Anbu or special forces units that Tsunade had said she would send to support their pursuit.

Having found a depression in the ground between two hills that would afford them some cover with adequate overgrowth, Shiru had nestled them in a tight grove of young trees before allowing $Name to collapse in a breathless heap.

“I am sorry I have to push you so hard. It isn’t fair to you in your condition, but I can’t shake the sense that we are surrounded on all fronts and they are just waiting for a moment to strike.”

Panting and practically wheezing as she curled in a ball, $Name formulated her response in her head.

“It is fine I understand. I am sorry I am such a burden being injured. Though they didn’t pierce my lung when the spear went through they did do a botch heal and I haven’t had the time to mend it properly.”

“I understand. I can tell by your chakra flow that some channels are obstructed forcing others to work harder just to make up for what has been lost. Just hold out until we can get back to the village’s boundary and we can send for backup. That should give you a chance to heal and properly recover.”

Nodding slightly, her breathing heavy and her head light, $Name focused on her breathing trying to calm it enough so she could take a drink or eat something within the immediate area just to give her a boost.

When she was under more control and could breathe deeply without feeling like she was fighting for air, she turned to Shiru was standing as still as a statue looking back at the way they had come.

“Shiru?”

“Yes?”

“How were you able to find me? My captors left no tracks and they blindfolded me the whole way.”

“I cannot take all the credit. Kiria was a substantial help as was the fact that your continued attempts to heal yourself allowed me to follow a trail of your chakra almost all of the way.”

“Really? I didn’t even realize I was doing anything.”

“There was no way for you to know. Tsunade never really discussed it with you because she had no idea what you were doing in your spare time the two weeks Kakashi was gone.”

$Name looked at Shiru skeptically. “Neither should you have.”

Shiru sighs. “Unlike my human half, I make a point of exercising my resources daily. Though I came to you late, I made it my mission to find out as much about you as I could, including many of the private moments you spirited yourself away during those two weeks. If I am going to protect you I have to know you inside and out, but I can’t do that as easily if you don’t trust me to help you even when you don’t think you need it.”

$Name frowned. “You interrogated Chichiri didn’t you?”

Shiru snorted out his nose. “Interrogate? No. Start a line of questions or ideas that lead him to continue talking and gossiping until I knew more about what went on than you? Yes.”

$Name just shook her head. “You are going to give me more of a headache than that overgrown -“

At that moment Kakashi and Jiraiya entered the clearing nearly giving $Name a heart attack.

“Do the two of you sense anything?” Shiru’s voice was firm and concerned.

“We scouted the area and circled the camp twice before entering. Though there aren’t signs of pursuit I get the feeling we aren’t alone either.” Jiraiya interjected before coming to stand next to Shiru.

“Now that you two are here I would like to do some recon myself if you are up for showing me where you have been Jiraiya.”

Picking up on the hint, Jiraiya agreed. “I’m not so old that I need a break just yet.”

Then the two disappeared into the woods leaving Kakashi and $Name alone in awkward silence.

Unable to look him directly in the eye, $Name stared at a point off in the distance despite everything being shrouded in darkness. She had told herself it wasn’t his fault that he had been called to the Hokage and had asked her to stay since it hadn’t directly involved her, but sitting here now with him sitting near him after all the things she had been through in the last twenty-four hours she wanted someone to blame and he seemed just as good an outlet as anything else.

Jerking her head towards him ready to tell him off she was surprised to see how close he now was being almost close enough for their noses to touch.

Caught off guard, she was only further flustered when he reached for her shoulder and began fingering the hole where the scar was. Suddenly very overwhelmed and frustrated she went to slap him but he caught her wrist and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly.

“$Name, I’m sorry. I told you I wasn’t going to leave you and that’s exactly what I did. If I had just let you come I could have prevented all of this and saved you the pain that you have gone through.”

$Name felt like she was crumbling. Even though he had broken his promise unknowingly and allowed her to get taken, he was here now taking ownership for everything he could have done adhad done since the moment he had lost her.

Fear brimming in her eyes as her lip quivered, all $Name could say was “You are such a jerk. How are you going to make this up to me? It’s your fault this happened.”

Looking up into her eyes, Kakashi held her hand. “I know. I can’t change that. All I can do is try to show you that from this moment on I will devote myself to nothing but your protection. Be it from outside sources or me I will do everything I can to keep a smile on your face and happiness in your life.”

Reaching his other hand up he caressed her cheek slightly before capturing the tears and brushing them aside.

“Please forgive me.”

$Name just half-assed rolled her eyes. “I’ll think about it. Just get me home first.”

Kakashi noded. “By the look of that scar though, you need to be healed sooner rather than later unless you want complications with mobility.”

She just glared at him. “Part of why I’m so damn tired is because I made sure it looked like that so my captors didn’t see me as a threat. The top looks way uglier than it is inside. Healing it like that, however, left me almost completely drained.” 

Looking at her with a slight glint to his eye he asked casually, “I thought you could pull chakra from the environment around you? We’re you not able to do that?”

“We’re you even listening? I told you if I did that they would have known something suspicious was as it required me to kill all living matter around me. As a result, I used mostly my chakra.”

“I see, so you are drained.”

“That’s what I said.” her voice frustrated and irate.

“Guess that just means you need something to draw energy from that won’t give away any healing you have done or might be doing.”

Without permission, Kakashi took the back of her head and pulled her in for a slightly passionate kiss. Though she floundered for the first few seconds in shock, $Name quickly grabbed onto Kakashi’s vest and drew in the chakra from his very lifestream swallowing it into herself as she split her attention between angry kissing Kakashi and channeling his chakra to heal her shoulder wound.

When he finally pulled back, she was panting again but did not seem exhausted or weary only out of breath.

Poking a finger into the cloth of her torn shoulder area he smiled.

“Glad to see it worked, though you are going to have a fun time explaining that to Tsunade.”

“Less fun than I’m going to have tearing you a new asshole for violating me injured. Couldn’t you just treat me with more care and appreciation instead of just teasing and stealing what you want when you want it?”

Raising an eyebrow Kakashi found his opportunity to reply cut short as the wolf and the perv came back.

“Looks like we are right. There are people out there, but whenever we feel we have found them they just disappear without a trace. We can’t stay here any longer. We have to get to leaf territory and request reinforcements.” Jiraiya interjected.

“I’m glad to see you two didn’t kill each other while we were gone. I’m also glad to know your injury has healed minus the discoloration of the damaged area.” Shiru’s voice matter of fact as usual. 

$Name brought her hand to her shoulder and rubbed it. If discoloration is all I’m left with that’s perfectly fine. It’s not like…” then she stopped and smiled sadly. “Anyway, I feel good enough to move on so as long as you feel it’s safe we can continue throughout the night.

The team nodded and then disappeared, the darting rustle of underbrush moments after they left the only indication that something was amiss.


	32. The Sound of Silence | The Densetsu Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I apologize in advance if these chapters take longer to plot out and get down. I appreciate everyone’s patience and love each and every one of you for sticking with this story.
> 
> Have a safe and wonderful New Years and I look forward to carrying this story into the new year!
> 
> Lots of love + XOXO  
> J/R

Though not in tune with her surroundings like Shiru was, even name could feel the emptiness in the forest around her. Even noting the sky was beginning to lighten the weight of the darkness around her was oppressive. Scanning the trees in front of her she was forced to rely on Shiru’s perceptiveness as well as Jiraiya’s and Kakashi’s skills to manage the area around them. 

Even trusting them as she did, it felt like every nerve in her body was on edge or fried from firing off so much adrenaline just to keep her conscious since this nightmare began. 

It also didn’t help that every move they made seemed to echo in intensity due to the silence that surrounded them. Still, if she listened carefully she thought she could just make out-

“We need to get out of these trees. We should almost be at the border between territories. Though I’m still concerned as to why we haven’t run into anyone from the Anbu yet I’m even more concerned that we haven’t seen or heard any life since collecting her from the camp.” Jiraiya’s voice was strained with calculated worry. 

“I would have to agree, something about this doesn’t seem right but there were only four enemies as far as we could tell and none of them had enough chakra control to overwhelm us as we are. It also seems odd that, though I sense pursuit we have yet to see or be attacked by anyone. It’s almost as if they are stalking us.” Kakashi chimes in. 

“That could only mean one thing.” Shiru and the others stop, leaving $Name confused. 

“What’s going on? Shouldn’t we keep moving?” $Name asks in a panicked voice.

“If we are wrong then yes, but if we are right we have bigger problems than that. $Name will you please try to drain the life from that flower over there to heal this wound?” Jiraiya asks as he looked out at the darkness behind them. 

“Wound? What wound? I-“ 

That’s when Jiraiya reached into his robes and pulled out a kunai knife before slicing a small vertical line down his arm. 

Gasping, $Name focuses her chakra on the wound and pulls the energy from the plant behind her into her flow before directing it at the wound. Try as she might, no chakra came and the wound for some reason doesn’t bleed; the plant also remains intact. 

“It’s as we thought. The question is how?” Kakashi asked before looking at Shiru who barked quietly suddenly.

Standing still everyone listened for several moments as nothing moved and no life breathed outside of them. Though he remained vigilant, Shiru made no sound afterward and just stared into the darkness.

“Can someone please tell me what we are listening for?” $Name asked in a tense quiet voice. 

“It’s not what we are listening for, it's what we are trying to anticipate. You see the guess is we are trapped in a Genjutsu.” Kakashi whispered.

“A Genjutsu! But how?” 

Before an answer could be given Shiru growled and there was a rustle near Jiraiya off to the right. Extending his senses the Sage attempted to pinpoint the culprit but it only resulted in a rustle to Kakashi’s left which caused $Name to jump. 

“Get ready it looks like they are closing in.” Was all Kakashi said as a rustle came from somewhere in front of $Name. 

Terrified and on edge she flipped through her mental Rolodex about everything she knew refsrding Genjutsu coming up with only one common denominator as the rustling got closer. 

It required an outside source of pain to break if it could not be broken from the inside and without a perpetrator to fight there was no internal contact to overcome rendering Kakashi’s Sharingan useless. 

But if Genjutsu was all in the mind and the mind had a tangible memory of pain, the mind could fill in the gaps between reality and illusion breaking it apart. 

Turning to Kakashi, $Name hoped and prayed she was right. Darting towards him as the rustling grew closer faster, $Name wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him straight on the lips before taking her canine tooth on the right and biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. 

She had only a second to swipe her tongue across the wound to confirm they were right before Kakashi disappeared and moments later the rustling stopped. 

“Hey, that’s not fair! I wanna be kissed so hard I disappear!” Jiraiya whined ignoring the peril they might still be in. 

“Yeah well, you can’t because it won’t work on you. The only reason it worked is that Kakashi remembers the pain of being bitten during a kiss with me and his mind associated the realistic feeling with a tangible memory and it shocked him out of the spell. It takes physical pain to break someone out of a Genjutsu but the mind is a powerful weapon and can make you believe you are where you aren’t long enough to make it seem completely real. Kakashi believed for a brief second that I was kissing him like that and he drew blood so it broke his mind out. Now we just have to hope he can break us out.” 

—————

$Name’s timing had been perfect. Had she waited for any longer Kakashi would have been choked to death with a thin metal wire or at least had his neck snapped because as he came to, two hands were looping it around his neck and going in for the kill. Transporting himself in the nick of time, he was able to avoid the attack and throw a kunai at Jiraiya so it grazed his skin and brought him back to reality. 

Leaving Jiraiya to the enemy, Kakashi spotted $Name’s body as it was being hauled off to a different cart presumably recruited from the barracks they had seen earlier. Darting in for the attack, Kakashi eliminated the two other attackers before pulling $Name upright. 

Taking a quick assessment of Jiraiya’s situation to see everything was under control, Kakashi leaned in and whispered even though he knew she probably wouldn’t hear, “I think a little payback is in order.” Then waiting for a moment when Jiraiya wasn’t facing him, he stepped behind $Name and slapped her square on the ass.

Coming to rather abruptly, as a result, she glared at him before saying, “Took you long enough.” Then the pain from the slap registered and she brought her hand back to rub it gingerly. “What did you do, drop me on my ass?” 

Kakashi just smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“Yeah, I actually would considering how hard it hurts.” 

Kakashi shrugged. “You started it jumping on a defenseless man.” 

$Name’s eyes went wide and her mouth opened in shock at the same moment Shiru barked loudly and drew their attention towards Jiraiya. 

“It would seem I have found something interesting if you two can stop having a lovers quarrel.” 

Both of them blushed before walking over to him. When they were close enough to see detail, Jiraiya held up what looked like a very narrow bone whistle.

“It looks like this whistle might carry the answer to what’s been happening since we found you $Name.” 

“You think that little thing is what almost caused us to be killed?” Kakashi’s disbelief is evident. 

“I’m not sure, but it is worth taking back and having Tsunade look at it just to make sure,” Jiraiya adds and the team agrees.

Looking out into the trees Jiraiya noted that fortunately not much time had passed since they had picked up $Name. 

“Daybreak should be soon. I don’t sense anymore ominous presences and with the sounds of the world back to normal I’d say it’s fair to assume we can make good time as long as we don’t waste any here. 

He dart forward then and the team follows behind, the natural sounds of the forest the only witnesses to their arrival abs departure. 


	33. Moving Past Regret and Into Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I think we may have finally found our way into the integration of the one-shots that spawned this whole story :) Let's see if that is true after this chapter. <3

There was no doubt the first place they needed to visit was Tsunade’s office. Having not run into any of the Anbu there seemed more at play here than just an abduction.

With Jiraiya in the lead followed by $Name, Kakashi made sure to keep her where he could see her the whole time not wanting her out of his sight for a moment.

When they entered Tsunade’s office he made sure to stand beside her as close as he could without smothering her standing on the side where the windows were in case an attack came from that direction. No longer assured they were safe even in the village, Kakashi was no longer interested in taking chances unnecessarily.

“I see you arrived safely and with $Name in tow.”

Jiraiya nodded and stepped forward. “We didn’t come across any of the Anbu, however, which was very disconcerting. I’m concerned it might have something to do with this item that we found.”

Pulling the whistle out of his robes, Joraiya placed it in front of Tsunade and crossed his arms.

“From what we can tell the enemy somehow had us in a Genjutsu during our escape. We aren’t sure when we entered it or how it happened but this was all that was left as a clue once we dispatched of them. Do you have any idea what it’s significance is?”

Picking it up, Tsunade turned the whistle around examining the entire surface area.

“If I had to guess I would say it either enhanced, created, or negated the Genjutsu you were under. Without more research, I can’t be sure which it is.”

Jiraiya frowned. “Outside of that, we ran into no other issues coming home. If you have time, though, I would like to discuss the experience we went through after acquiring $Name to see if that helps shed any light. Given her injuries haven’t been re-examined to ensure they healed properly, I think the next step for her is to have her escorted to the hospital.”

Flashing a look first to $Name and then Kakashi, Tsunade agreed.

“I am glad you returned safely. Please visit the hospital to ensure you aren’t suffering from anything you don’t realize. Jiraiya will fill me in on everything else.”

“Thank you Lady Tsunade.” $Name replied.

“You two are dismissed.”

Turning to leave, $Name immediately felt overwhelming anxiety as she walked through the doors with Kakashi behind her. There hadn’t been time to deal with everything that happened during and after her kidnapping so being alone with him now, having not even been able to process what she had felt from one moment to the next, made her body tense and her throat to clench.

How should she feel and what should she say? He had come to rescue her and her technique to get him out of the Genjutsu had worked so there had to be something there, but everything in between seemed to be a mix of protective teacher and uninvested companion that just happened to enjoy teasing her.

Worrying on the inside of her lip with her teeth, $Name kept her eyes forward and her mouth shut until the hospital was in sight.

Stopping to turn around she said with a tight smile, “Thanks for walking me here. I should be fine to check myself in. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Then she turned to leave but her wrist was grabbed harshly and her body pulled up against his so closely that his lips almost brushed her neck as a deadly whisper escaped them.

“You are never to leave my side do you understand that? Your life is at risk and I refuse to let you jeopardize that because you want to be independent.”

Shocked, her mouth stuck slightly open, $Name’s face began to redden.

“Kakashi, please let go. You are hurting me.”

He wasn’t and she knew he could see the lie in her eyes, but she was rapidly becoming overstimulated by his closeness and wanted the distance to collect her thoughts.

Holding her a moment longer, he released her slowly before he began walking to the hospital.

“Don’t make me carry you, you won’t like it.”

—————

The visit had been quick and Kakashi had stood outside standing guard the entire time allowing her some privacy, but not so much that he lost sight of where she was.

When she came out he gave her a critical look but she just waved it off.

“I’m fine. Minus a little discoloration, there was nothing they needed to heal. Now if you don’t mind I need to go see Kiria. I’m sure she wants a report and to make sure I’m okay.”

His voice was harsh and commanding. “That won’t be necessary. I sent Pakun to tell her. The only thing you need to do is rest.” Looking back at him with mild surprise, she tried to formulate a response but his hand on her shoulder pushing her forward suggested he wouldn’t accept no for an answer. Once they got outside and started heading home the awkward silence fell between them.

Dreading the moment they would have to part ways because she didn’t really want to go home alone but didn’t have the courage to ask Kakashi to stay, she found herself torn by what to do.

When they reached the street where Kakashi would go right he solved the issue.

“You are coming home with me. I can’t trust they haven’t done something to your place and you won’t be safe there anyway so you are going to stay with me until I say otherwise is that clear?”

Now blushing and nervous for an entirely different reason, all $Name could do was nod and follow.

When they got inside Kakashi shut and locked the door before walking up to $Name and turning her around.

“Let me see it.”

“Let you see what? My wound? The doctors just checked. It’s all healed. I just told you that-“

Then his hands were on her clothes undoing the fastening and pulling off layers until she was naked from the waist up. Now very turned on and self-conscious, $Name tried to hide her body with her arms but Kakashi pulled her right hand away before tracing the cleanly healed flesh of her wound that now was discolored white in a starburst pattern with the pads of his fingers.

Watching his face, $Name was speechless. There was anger, sadness, hate, and fear all rolled into one tortured expression but before she could even try to comfort him he bent his face down and kissed her shoulder.

She barely heard the ‘I’m sorry $Name’ that slid from his lips as fire tore through her shoulder when his lips touched her skin. They were so warm and soft while his breath as it ghosted across her flesh carried promises of something tightly coiled within him within the vibration of his words.

Unable to control her response, she gasped slightly and grabbed onto his vest.

“Kakashi, please. It’s okay.”

Her body was shaking from anticipation but she dared not move or breathe for fear he would pull away and the moment be lost.

Unfortunately, he still pulled back.

“It’s not and you know it. I promised I wouldn’t leave you alone and then I did just that. If I had not been so sure I could keep you safe you never would have ended up with that, to begin with.”

Looking up into her eyes $Name could see the pain he was battling with as well as a mixture of other emotions. Still embarrassed by her unexpected nakedness, she covered herself as best she could by pressing up against his chest while her chin bowed slightly to hide her eyes.

“You came for me. That’s all that mattered. Once again you saved me from a gate so had been thrown into. The way I see it that makes you more like my hero than some pervy failure who only thinks about what’s set in front of him. I mean sure I was pissed that you wanted to leave me alone but as long as you don’t break that promise again I think I can forgive you.” 

She could hear the emotional weight he had been carrying lift in the sigh that broke through his lips as his arms wrapped around her naked back and he leaned his cheek against the side of her head.

“I was so afraid I’d lost you once your body disappeared during that fight when the harpoon pierced you. It was bad enough they had almost taken you to outdo the village but when they hurt you and took you away injured in such a violent way…”

Kakashi squeezed her tightly forcing her to give a strangled reply as her lungs were crushed.

“Kakashi. I can’t breathe .”

Releasing her suddenly, Kakashi’s face flushed as he finally stood back and looked at her, not through clouded emotions, and saw she was naked from the waist up.

Blushing and turning her back, $Name blurted out, “I’m going to get dressed now. Did you want me to make you something to eat or do you want to go get something?”

When he didn’t reply, $Name turned slowly around making sure to cover her chest only to find him directly behind her; his red eye uncovered and a strange look hidden in their depths.

“Kakashi?”

That was the last thing she said before one hand rested on her hip as the other came to rest at the back of her head while his lips pressed against her neck with a hunger she had not anticipated.

Gasping softly she placed her left hand at his shoulder while the other came to rest on his forearm. His lips scorched her and the heat of his skin through his clothes felt like an inferno. Though her mind raced she couldn’t remove her focus from the path of his lips as they traveled down her neck and towards her collar bone. They were so gentle yet so needy both asking for forgiveness and demanding her submission at the same time.

“Kakashi." Her words were a whisper of uncertainty and guilty indulgence as $Name tilted her head to the side. Thinking only about how it felt and the heat that he produced, she dug her fingers into his arms and bit her lip.

As if sensing her continued hesitation but selfishly ignoring it a little longer, Kakashi dragged his lips down to the swell of her breast before kissing it one last time and lifting his head so his eyes met hers.

"Though it infuriates me to think what they would have done to you had they succeeded, I won't be any better if I continue now as things are. The last thing I want is you to regret anything."

Pulling back slowly as confusion crossed her face, Kakashi walked over to her clothes and brings them to her; placing them in her hands before turning around.

"I'll make dinner you just relax."

Still raging on the insides with desire she had no outlet for all $Name could say was "Okay." She dressed quickly then and went to sit at the table; her eyes following Kakashi's every move.

When the meal was on the table and they had both sat down, Kakashi began to eat and then stopped when he saw the look of confusion on her face.

"What's the matter? I didn't upset you just then did I?"

She shook her head. "No. I just don't understand what you meant by what you said just now."

Kakashi swallowed the food in his mouth. "Did they not tell you anything about why they captured you?"

She shook her head.

"I see. Well, it is still partially speculation, but if they are who we think they are then they are in the market to capture healers and use them to monopolize society through restricting medicines and healing. Along with that, it is possible they will then use those healers to bread the healing talent into others turning you into sex slaves for their distorted view of the societal hierarchy."

Horrified, $Name's mouth drops open. "You can't be serious?"

"I'm afraid I am which is why I had to get you back. I can't let another man have you, not for any reason. Especially when I want you all to myself. I regret that I never told you that until now and I would never have forgiven myself if you had been lost to us, but I don't intend to let them have you now. You aren't someone else's property."

Flushed and aroused, but still, defiant $Name spouted out the first thing that came into her head.

"You say that like I'm your property."

Placing his fork down purposefully, Kakashi turned to her and with complete seriousness said, "You aren't? Funny. Last I checked, which was a few seconds ago, you responded quite nicely to me. Shall we check again?"

Within the blink of an eye, his lips were on hers and her chair was tilted backward. Wrapping her arms around his neck in panic, $Name soon found herself pulling him into her as his tongue pressed against her closed lips and his kisses became insistent.

"You can't deny it anymore $Name. After what you did to release me from that Genjutsu you have to realize there is some type of chemistry between us. I felt it then and I can feel it now as I press myself against you." Kakashi spoke against her lips in between kisses as she clung to him. "Deny it. Deny me. I dare you."

Then he pulled back breathing slightly heavy and righted her chair before sitting back down on his own.

"You may not be able to say it but you can't deny it either. You, your body, you belong to me. Now all I have to do is get you to admit it so you can stop lying to yourself and I can start showing you everything you and your body are capable of."

Then he picked up his fork and continued eating, and absolutely baffling concept to $Name who could only respond with, "We will see about that."

Kakashi just continued eating allowing dinner to conclude in silence. When everything was put away and cleaned Kakashi turned to her and asked, "Would you like to take a bath? The hot spring should be almost empty with how late it is unless of course, you would rather use the public pool."

$Name could tell there was a suggestive hidden meaning to that, but as soon as the words were said her body began to ache and the fatigue crashed against her. Not wanting to let him think she would go just to indulge him, she cleared her throat and said, "I could use a bath, though with this scar I am not too keen on others seeing me naked. Long as you remain a gentleman I supposed that will be fine."

Kakashi just smiled with that far from the innocent face.

"Of course. I will grab our things and we can head right there."


	34. Establishing Daddy’s Little Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So as promised I was able to modify the existing one shot to work with this scenario so I apologize to those who have read that and now have a slightly modified version. I am not sure how the other two will fit in. I will probably use them as a base and alter the details there as well. It's funny I had always thought that I would be able to close the story up once I got to this point and just continue with the one-shots but the story has gone well beyond that now so this is just one milestone I have overcome. Thank you so much all of you for still reading. I have enjoyed this story so much and look forward to continuing it through this story arc at least though who knows what will happen then XD.

I was nervous to say the least. Having barely spent any quality time alone with anyone of the opposite sex that I actually felt attracted to, the idea of being alone with Kakashi in an intimate setting had me on edge. With only his forceful declaration back at the house and a few random events that couldn’t even be labeled as solid flirting attempts, I still hadn't quite expected that this was anything more than an innocent surface attempt to rile me up and piss me off.

As I entered the common area of the communal hot spring the reality began to sink in as he arranged his things and my things next to each other in the baskets provided for bathing. Blushing, I could only stand in the doorway and glance anywhere but at the man I was starting to feel I might be losing my heart to. 

"$Name? Are you just going to stand there or are you going to get changed and come in?" 

Pulling myself back to reality with the sound of his voice, I turned and damn near fainted. Naked except for a towel, he had even taken off his neck gator, Kakashi stood in front of me in all of his rippling glory glistening in the misty heat like some erotic angel that had the potential to make me orgasm my way to heaven. Feeling like my face was on fire, I caught his gentle stare with my heart beating in my throat and my body shaking. 

Sensing my distress, he walked towards me slowly with his hands at his sides.

"You do realize I have seen you naked right?"

I blush furiously. "Could you not remind me of that!" I whispered loudly.

"You were even partially naked in my house just now."

Stamping my foot as my face got redder I loud whispered his name. "Kakakshi!"

He just shrugged. "Would you feel better if I was naked?" Placing his hands at the place on his hip where his towel is neatly tied he acts like he is moving to remove the knot.

Spinning so fast I almost do a three-sixty, I face the other way. "Don't you dare!"

"Fine. You have five minutes then if you aren't in the pool I am coming to get you naked whether you like it or not. You need this and being stubborn isn't going to change that." Then he turns and walks to his bath bucket before heading out to the spring.

Unable to sort out my feelings, I stood there stupidly for several moments before slapping my face with both hands and groaning. If this had been Ino or Sakura they would have done the right thing and joined him. Why was I so hesitant? At this rate I would never be ready to do anything more intimate with him and all of Kiria's words would go to waste. Looking around with anxiety my mind couldn't stop thinking about how it was just the two of us forcing me to come to terms with just how next level this could be and how much of a game we weren't playing. 

Though the idea of doing sexual things with him had crossed my mind a lot and made my clit ache and nipples harden as thoughts of him kneeling in front of me sucking and licking my pussy till I came all over his face excited me so much my body practically vibrated, I didn't think I could actually go through with it and ask for it especially when he hadn't even admitted to having tangible feelings for me. 

Pinching the collar of my shirt, I pulled it out and glanced down at my breasts. It wasn't like I didn't have descent endowments or that there was something else wrong with me that would make him shy away. If I had to be honest I was more worried my innocence and lack of knowledge would frustrate him and cause him to lose interest more than anything. 

Kicking myself, I glanced at the gate that lead to the pool outside. I knew I couldn't shy away from this forever. I agreed to come so I needed to put up or shut up. Shuffling quietly I slowly began undressing taking a towel and stepping outside once it had been securely wrapped around me.

I had been delusional to think Kakashi wouldn't know I was coming. No sooner had I stepped outside and closed the door then I locked eyes with what was easily the sexiest man alive. Not wanting to drown in his eyes, which were clearly visible through the steam, I looked only briefly at his face before letting my eyes travel down his neck to his muscular chest and shoulders and the half hidden torso that was chiseled with muscle easily supporting a six pack at least. 

Grateful and disappointed the water blocked the rest from view, I approached the edge of the pool slowly. Once at the edge, I bent down to test the temperature of the water as my hand clutched the towel closed at my chest that I was terrified to release. 

"I'm glad you decided to come. Honestly, it was kind of lonely without you."

Looking up in surprise I was taken aback by the slight redness to his cheeks as he said it, but tried to rationalize that that might be due to the temperature of the pool and not me.

"I'm sorry I...I didn't think you...uh...I didn't think that..." stumbling over how silly everything sounded I just blurted out the next thing that came to mind. "Just turn around so I can get in. I can't remove my towel if you are watching!"

Nodding, he moved away from the wall and turned around. "Just let me know when I can turn around.

Waiting a moment to make sure he wasn't going to pull anything, I slowly unwrapped the towel and let it fall to the ground before crouching down and slinking into the water, a soft moan escaping my lips at how warm and relaxing the water was. Covering my mouth hoping he hadn't heard, I stared at his back a few moments wondering if I should tell him he could turn around. 

As my eyes traveled over the lean but well defined muscles of his shoulders that I knew could easily toss me anywhere he wanted, and down the back I suddenly had a strong urge to rake so hard with my nails I drew blood, I realized him turning around now would make me die of embarrassment and worry. 

Ducking so only my head was above water, I creeped towards him only rising when I was a foot away. Tentative, scared, and nervous of being rejected, I reached my hand out to touch him only to shrink back in hesitation. 

As if reading my thoughts, he interjected my thoughts.

"Is everything ok? Can I turn around yet? It's a little cold above water."

Panicking, I did the only thing I could think of doing. Lurching forward I pressed into his back; my naked chest against his back and my arms tucked neatly against my body as my cheek rested at the base of his neck where it met his shoulders.

"Please. Don't turn around. Not yet." There was a tremble in my voice.

"$Name are you ok? Did something happen?"

Half shaking my head against his back I drag a response out. "No, nothing. It's just...I'm scared."

I could feel his body tense slightly as he took a sharp intake of breath. Seconds passed and I subconsciously pressed harder into him; the swell of my breast almost completely flattened against his solid frame.

Eventually he asked, "What are you afraid of?"

Turning my head so my forehead rested in between his shoulder blades as my chin tucked in, I quietly answered, "I'm scared you will get bored of me because I am inexperienced and such a burden. You have been nothing but kind but I am not like other girls you have probably been with. I don't know how to do any of this and even if I did I'm terrified my inexperience would frustrate you."

"$Name I..."

"Just shut up and listen!" I bark without thinking but barrel on knowing if I don't get it out I never will. "I didn't believe you actually want to be with me. Hell I didn't even think you took me calling you Daddy seriously, since I don't even know if I want you to take it seriously. I just wanted someone to save me that day and make things all better. I know you weren't interested in me. I know I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. So that makes me worry that this is it's just some fetish you are working through and not something you actually want to pursue. That once my training and this craziness is over you will discard me and find something or someone else to fill that void."

Pausing for breath I sniffled not even realizing I had begun crying.

"Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought of being involved with someone older than me let alone my teacher and team member, but that day you saved me I wanted nothing more than to run into your arms and stay there forever. Your kind eyes and your soft gentle voice...it felt like the safest thing to me and I didn't want to be anywhere else; at least not anywhere else that didn't also have you."

For several minutes we stood like that; me crying into his back and him standing there supporting me like he always did until the tears stopped. When the tears finally stopped, he turned around and wiped the remaining ones from my eyes before taking my breath away.

"If we are being honest I also didn't realize the impact your words would have on me. Though I know it didn't seem like it, I had harbored feelings for you for quite some time though I knew I couldn't express them. Those feelings were finally cemented the night they took you and I almost lost you. It was then that I knew I could no longer stay away from you. 

Cupping my cheek in his hand, he continued. "I remember the day you first entered the leaf village. You had gotten permission to train under the Hokage in medical ninjutsu since you had shown a mild aptitude for it. Though it wasn't your strongest trait you were determined to find a way to meld it with your wind chakra to create a sort of group chakra heal. Admiring your tenacity and curious about your talent I began watching you during your training only to realize not long after I was no longer watching out of curiosity." 

Placing his forehead against mine he closed his eyes. "I wish I had had the courage to tell you sooner, but I didn't. I was a coward who thought there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell you would want anything to do with me. Yet here we are." His eyes opened then and locked on mine. "And all I want to do is be with you in every sense of the word."

That's when he bent down, his hands sliding down to cup my ass before lifting me up and pulling my legs around his hips; my arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. "I'm a selfish man, $Name. I brought you here because I wanted you all to myself. Yes I presented it as something innocent but I also did it to see if I could push you over the edge. I thought maybe in this moment in the bath I could convince you to let me take all of your important firsts so there was no way you could ever want to leave me. I know it's crazy but I was and still am desperate to have you." 

Heading towards the edge of the pool I try not to bite my lip out of anxiety.

Sensing I still have hesitation he speaks softly but with asurity. "I am serious, though." His voice is completely sincere with no hint of teasing as he turns so his back is to the edge of the pool before sitting back down and securing me in his lap. "I want all of your firsts. I'll kill anyone who tries to take them from me."

There is a slight fear now in his eyes like he truly is terrified I will reject him.

"Kakashi I...I don't want anyone else to...do that. I don't even know if I'm ready...for all that." My face turned more and more red as I thought about it.

Silence fell between us as Kakashi searches my eyes for any hint that I might be lying. Eventually, they soften and he presses his forehead against mine. "I won't rush you, but I want you to trust that when you are ready I want to show you and experience all of it with you. There is nothing I want more than to experience all of our pleasure and pain together." Lifting a hand from my ass Kakashi places it on my bare chest above my heart, an act that causes me to gasp and whine slightly as his palm brushes against my nipple which I had forgotten was completely exposed, as well as the rest of me.

"Mmmn Kakashi..." Then my eyes look down and embarrassment and shock cross my face. "Kakashi what are you..." 

He looks down then and even his face turns bright red as he yanks his head up. "I'm sorry I didn't mean...I didn't even pay attention to the fact you were...I mean we were...please don't be angry." Then he smiles that disarming smile and I yank my hands from his neck to cover my chest. 

"I told you I wasn't ready yet!" Mortified I try to shuffle out of his lap but his hand holds me firm as it snakes around my lower back.

With eyes wandering, Kakashi takes in the peachy pink flush of my skin as he memorizes all the curves of my body that are visible. 

"You know $Name you really have a beautiful body. I wish you would let me look at it."

"YOU SEE IT EVERY TIME YOU SEE ME CLOTHED! WHY DO YOU NEED TO SEE IT NAKED!"

Taking my wrists he gently pulls them back around his neck until I am looking into his beautiful garnet eyes again with my chest exposed.

"Because I want to see all of you every time I see you." 

Blushing furiously I scowl at him.

Sighing Kakashi collects his thoughts and then says the one thing he had been too nervous to say until now. "What if I told you Daddy wanted to see all of his beautiful little girl and it made him very sad that she would hide herself from him?"

I bit my lip as the shudder that traveled down my body when he referenced me as Daddy's little girl. I felt the heat in my body rise and my clit ache.

"Please sweetheart. Daddy just wants to tell you and show you just how beautiful you are to him in every way possible."

I whine then, my willpower gone as Kakashi eyes catch mine as his hand comes up so he can place his thumb on my lips allowing him to caress the bottom one. 

"That's my girl. Thank you for not hiding anymore."

Blushing, I reply softly, "You are welcome Daddy. Do you really think I am that beautiful?"

Slowly, never breaking eye contact, Kakashi slides me closer to him, his hand at my back a solid wall against which I am forced to comply as my legs begins to part in anticipation of allowing his body in between them; our faces dangerously close causing my breathing to become heavy.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." 

That's when he leaned into me and captured my lips; the hand at my lower back sliding up to caress my back gently as his other slides up and down my thigh; my eyes staring at the closed eyes of the man I loved as he stole my breath with each kiss.

To say I had never kissed a guy was not a lie after what Kakashi and I shared. Though my lips had locked with at least two other boys in my vain attempts to have boyfriends that never lasted, those incidents were nothing like the passion held within Kakashi's lips as he sucked in my bottom lip to nibble on it before crashing against mine again. Only separating for a gasp of air, Kakashi's soft but firm kiss demanded my attention and when I seemed distracted, he stuck his tongue between my teeth and captured mine dancing with it as I moaned into his lips over and over again.

When he finally pulled back, I was breathing heavily and feeling light headed.

"You are even beautiful breathless. It makes me want to continue to take your breath away." 

Turning my head in embarrassment, I cover my face with my arm. "That's not fair Kakashi. You can't keep saying those things. I don't know how to respond and you will think that I don't care about you when that isn't true."

That's when I feel a pinch on my shoulder and I squeal throwing my arm from over my eyes as I stare at Kakashi who is leaning above the place that stings from his teeth pinching it. "Keep that up and Daddy will have to punish you. I won't tolerate you thinking that." Moving his face back to mind he captures my lips again but this time the kiss is sweet and soft. "You don't get to decide how I enjoy you. You only get to decide what you are willing to let me do."

That's when he hesitates before leaning down and placing a kiss on my neck; his tongue darting out to lick the spot his lips pressed against before kissing me again.

Biting my lip I'm unable to control the slight rise of my hips as a wave of pleasure washes down my body as his lips kiss the vital spots on my neck. 

"Will you let me show you all of my feelings tonight?"

His next kiss is lower; his hands coming back to my ass so he can lift me slightly though nothing but his lips touch any other part of me.

"Kakashi I..."

That's when his deep husky voice reverberates in my ear as his slick lips brush my earlobe, "Kakashi isn't asking. Daddy is and Daddy wants to show his little girl all the secrets of her garden."


	35. Please and Thank You Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again for some a tweaked repeat chapter adapted to fit within the storyline.

I can feel on a primal level the depth of implications behind his words as his desire hits me full force. Letting my head fall back, my chest rises and falls in deep heavy breaths as I try to focus on anything but the one thing I don't want to resist but also fear. 

My eyes begin to tear more from the stress of it all than from fear. "But I'm scared. I don't want you to think less of me because I can't be what you want or make you feel the way you deserve."

His lips fall on my neck right at my jugular kissing softly before they part and his teeth clamp around the width of my exposed neck; his canines poking into my major arteries causing waves of fear-filled desire to shoot straight towards my clit. 

I whine for a moment but refuse to move until his teeth release and his lips kiss under my jaw. "I will never hurt you nor will I let anyone hurt you. Trust me. You can always trust me. I'll always protect you." 

As his words soothe me one hand comes to rest on my thigh where it remains without moving while the other shifts to my lower back to support me. My lip quivers and I tuck my hands against my chest not knowing where to put them and not wanting him to stare at my breasts that somehow feel inadequate. 

My mind begins to spiral into a dark place of self-loathing while battling the distracting contact of Kakashi's lips as they trail down my neck, his sudden words snap me back to the present moment so all my attention focuses on him.

"Do you not like me kissing you?" His lips have stopped just a hair's breadth from my neck as he asks the question."

Attempting to look at him from the corner of my eyes since my face is still turned from him, I hesitantly respond, "No, of course not. I actually...like it a lot. Maybe even too much." 

Kakashi takes in a deeper breath than necessary and the mortification of my omission makes me want to drown myself in the pool. Wanting nothing more than to slide off his lap abs drown me in the pool I close my eyes. This can't be happening.

"Do you want me to stop?" 

I can tell the question is forced and not even remotely related to anything he wants to do, but being the gentleman he is, he asks.

Pursing my lips I hesitate. "Kakashi I...I just..."

"Would it be better if you touched me instead?"

The question caught me so off guard, I stared at him in the confusion that quickly turned to shame when I saw the pained look on his face.

"I'm sorry Kakashi, it's all my fault I..."

He grabbed my wrist with the hand at my back and placed it at his heart which was beating so fast under his skin I was sure it was going to burst out of his chest at any second.

Not giving me a chance to respond, he holds my hand there before removing it and placing it on his cheek.

"I'm not going to lie and say I don't want to ravage every inch of your body every hour of every day I have been with you since we confessed, but acting on that isn't what will make you trust me or want to be with me. It won't make you believe I care or want to be with you. So here I sit, naked, painfully erect, battling insanity at how close you are without clothes on and the only thing I want is to either touch you or have you touch me."

Turning his face into my palm he mumbles, "I'm starving $Name. I need all of your love and attention and I won't do anything that jeopardizes that."

Embarrassed by much of what he said, I can't help but melt at the sincerity of his words as he brushes his lips across my palm. Setting my mouth I steel myself. 

Put up or shut upright?

Looking into his eyes I leap of faith. "Promise me you won't hurt me."

Looking at me with the same intensity, he gives me his word. "I will never hurt you."

Resigning myself I look at him shyly with clear hesitation in my eyes, "Daddy, please touch me."

And just like that the soft loving eyes turned predatory as Kakashi moved forward abruptly to capture my lips; one hand coming up to cradle my head while the other rose to trail feather-light touches down my neck and across my shoulder. 

Moaning into his mouth, I shudder as his fingers slide over my shoulder to trace down my back. Arching slightly as his fingers reach the curve of my lower back, my breath catches as a low moan escapes Kakashi's lips at the feel of my chest pressing into his with the lightest of touches. 

"So responsive. Makes Daddy want to not take his time just so I can make your body mine with every lick and caress." He speaks against my lips biting my lower one before trailing a quick line of kisses down my neck and across my collar bone which makes my body tense up and my hands reach out to grip his shoulders. 

"Such claws. Shall we see if you know how to use them?" 

Leaning me back, one hand having shifted to my lower back so it supports me, Kakashi kisses a spot at the center of my breast above the nipple before tilting his head sideways and taking my breast into his mouth; his tongue teasing the areola until the bud has hardened enough for him to suck on it. 

Unprepared for the pleasure I feel like his tongue strokes my nipple, I dig my nails into his shoulder until little droplets of blood form at my fingertips. 

Releasing my breast, Kakashi nips at the underside before turning his attention to the other nipple completely unphased he is bleeding at the shoulders. This time he only wraps his lips over the bud itself sucking hard until it becomes erect. With it standing fully erect he swirls his tongue around the areola caressing just enough of the nipple on each pass that my body tenses in anticipation; my groans of protest falling on deaf ears. 

With both nipples hard, Kakashi carefully lifts me so I am vertical; his mouth closing around the sensitive nerves and tendons under my jaw with just enough force I cry out in a mixture of surprise and arousal. 

Savoring my response he inquires, "Have you ever been touched like this by a man? His lips coming back to mine as he kisses me... 

Pulling back I catch enough breath to squeak out, "No, not like this," before his lips are on mine again. Smiling against them he asks, "I didn't think so. Do you like the way Daddy touches you?"

Blushing as I try to turn my head I nod yes. 

"Good. Do you want Daddy to touch you in other places? Maybe places only you would touch?" 

My mind suddenly pulls up the image of Kakashi kneeling in front of me with his face in my cunt as he eats me out and I groan deep in the back of my throat before I can catch myself. 

"Sounds like my little princess has been having dirty thoughts about what Daddy could do to her. Does she want to show Daddy where he touched her when she was daydreaming?" 

My face is on fire and I desperately try to think of something else but his arms around my body and his lips on my skin make it impossible to think or want anything else.

In frustration, I reach my hands up and dig them in his soft white hair trying to only think of now.

With a voice whose intensity rumbles like distant thunder, Kakashi muses, "By your response, I think Daddy knows exactly what his little girl wants. But just to make sure, let's go inch by inch."

Securing me around his hips, Kakashi stands and braces one knee on the edge of the pool before lowering me slowly onto my back against the cooler stone floor making sure my hips are up against the edge of the pool. Closing my eyes I keep my hands digging into his scalp as he hovers over me; his lips falling to my neck as his hands' plant on the ground at either side of me. 

"Was this where you wanted daddy to touch you when you were alone?" 

"Hmm, Mmmm." Is all I can muster as I try to keep myself from dying from embarrassment. 

Shifting down slightly, Kakashi moves his lips to my collar bone. "What about here?" 

I reply again the same; my hands gripping the hair at the base of his head.

Shifting down once again, Kakashi kisses my right nipple before sucking it between his lips causing me to give a sharp cry as the familiar sting of pleasure floods me. 

"Was it here? Or maybe...here?" He asks before his lips travel to my right nipple where he does the same.

"Mnnnn no. Not there." I moan out as the unabused nipple hardens and aches when his lips separate from it. 

"I see. We are running out of places, aren't we princess?" 

I can't respond. It's taking everything I have just to focus on breathing instead of showing his face between my legs like I desperately want to. I'm still unsure he would want to do that let alone have me try to force him to. Kakashi isn't the man you force to do anything. 

Sliding down into the heat of the pool, he places a kiss just under my navel which makes me whimper at how close he is to the place I want him to be. 

"Is this it?" His voice is slightly teasing and I can feel his eyes on me which mortified me even more since I don't know if I could keep my sanity looking at him with this face that closes to my core. 

"No. That's not it." My voice is breathy and my body begins to squirm. 

"Hmmm." Shifting down one final time he places his hands on my thighs and I can feel the soft currents of his breathing on my inner thighs as his face lowers between my legs. Biting my lips I whimper, my hips starting to tilt up ready to receive him only to be denied as face pulls away and his right-hand takes my left leg and pressed it down to meet my right before he plants a kiss on my ass. 

"This must be it. Is this where you wanted Daddy to touch?"

My body screams in frustration as my pussy begins to ache painfully. 

"No, Daddy, not there either." My voice, now a strained frustrated sound. 

"Well, Princess, I'm not sure what you want if you don't tell me." That's when his hand tucks under my inner thigh on the left side and gently pulls it away from the right, spreading me open before planting a kiss on the inside.

"You know Daddy can't kiss it and make it better if he doesn't know where it hurts." 

I can feel the insistent stare coming from his eyes and the need in his request that he won't back down from. Opening my eyes that have begun to water at the corners from frustration at myself for not just being honest and getting it over with, I lift my head to look at him.

His cheek is pressed to my thigh and his eyes are locked on mine. They aren't cruel or judgmental just clear and slightly pleading as if he too is frustrated even in the pleasure he might be taking from teasing me. 

"Please $Name be a good girl for Daddy and tell him where to touch you so he can make you feel even better than you imagined he would." 

I want it. I want it so very badly but I'm too scared to be rejected if I ask. Leaning my head back against the floor my lip begins to quiver and my eyes tear.

Kissing my thigh a little lower, Kakashi gives words of comfort. "Please don't cry. I told you I won't hurt you. I just want to make you feel like you don't have to hide what you want from me." 

He kisses again even lower placing him halfway down my inner thigh. I groan and reach for his hair again. "Daddy?" 

He kisses lower. "Yes, princess?" 

"Please Daddy, don't stop, you are almost there." 

Kissing me lower so his lips hit right at the crease where my leg meets my pelvis he asks one final time, "Was that it?"

"No. Not yet. Just a little bit lower. It should be...right between my legs." 

I thought I would die. At first from the embarrassment but then from the euphoric pleasure at feeling Kakashi's lips surround mine as he French kissed my pussy, his tongue parting my lips to delve into my warmth before pulling out and licking my bud. 

Then as quickly as it happened, his lips were gone and I found myself looking up at him between my legs as he waited for me to acknowledge what he had done.

"Was that the spot you wanted me to touch when you were alone? 

"Yes Daddy, It was." I couldn't muster anything else.

"Would you like me to touch it some more?" That's when he breaks eye contact and drops his head slightly to part my slit with his tongue again before caressing my over sensitive clit as he raises his eyes to look at me. 

Crying out I whine. "Please Daddy, that's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" 

"You are teasing me. Please don't tease me Daddy, I want..." I slam my lips shut and breathe in and out heavily from my nose.

"What do you want princess? Daddy wants to hear exactly what you want." Just the tip of his warm tongue tracing lazy, slow circles around my clit before grazing over it making me gasp and jerk. 

Knowing I can't take it anymore, I cave. "I want Daddy to keep touching my clit just like he did when I fantasized it in bed alone but only..." 

I stop and Kakashi takes the full flat of his tongue and licks me from anus to clit. "But what?"

With tears streaming down my face I let it all out. "But I want him to do it and like it. I want to feel him devour me and I want to know he never wants to do it or anything like it to anyone else ever again." 

There is silence a moment as neither of us speaks, Kakashi just runs his nose up and down my thigh.

Unable to accept the potential of his rejection, I beg, "Please Daddy. Please I..."

I don't get to finish. Instead my mouth opens in a silent cry and my back arches as Kakashi links his arms under my hips and pulls me into his face. With my pussy seeping in front of him, turned on by both the humiliation and his touch, he begins licking and sucking like a man starved. 

Swirling his tongue over my bud he then sucks it in and nurses on it before releasing it and sucking on the bottom of my folds. When my cries get to frequent he slides from my pussy to my ass and then teases my anus which begins to pucker and clam shell in anticipation of penetration. 

Once my breathing has calmed, Kakashi brings his tongue back to my clit and slowly caresses it as one hand reaches up to tease my nipple. 

Unable to take all the stimulation I bring my legs up and pinch his head between them thinking that will force him to pull back and give me a break; a miscalculation that only spurs him on. 

Pulling back slightly Kakashi nips at my thighs forcing them open before looking up at me. "Does that mean Daddy's little girl wants to feel even better?"

"Please Daddy, It's too much I..."

Once again I am rendered speechless as Kakashi dips his head down between my legs and stimulates my clit but this time his hand slides from under my thigh so his fingers can tease the entry of my slit. 

I feel like a wanton whore as soon as his fingers slide over my slit and his pad pushing in just slightly. Groaning and pressing down, I try to encourage his finger to penetrate further. 

I can hear the arousal in his voice as he asks, "Do you like it when my fingers play with your pussy Princess? Do you want my fingers inside you as I lick you and play with your nipple?"

"Yes! Please Daddy. Please don't stop."

Sucking on my clit and twisting my nipple Kakashi slides two fingers into my tight slit before turning his hand palm up and rubbing his bent fingers against my distended G-Spot.

I lose complete control. I can feel the wet heat of my juices cover his hand and the slurping sounds of his lips trying to drink it off my folds as his hand slurps in and out of my wetness. 

"Daddy, I think I'm...I'm going to cum very soon. I can't hold it." I lift my head to look at him; my face flushes my breathing heavy, my body wanting more while feeling like it's going to explode. 

"Cum for me than princess, like the good beautiful girl you are so Daddy can see you orgasm just for him." 

His speed increases then as he pumps his hand into my pussy his fingers deftly massaging my core until the world explodes and my walls clamp around his hand. 

It was the one time through the whole thing that I screamed his name.

The whole orgasm was shorter than I expected but Kakashi didn't stop licking and cleaning me until all of the sweetness was gone. When I was all clean and my body had stabilized, Kakashi pulled back from between my legs and rose; walking to my side before running his knuckles lovingly over my face. 

"Such a good girl. You did such a good job and were so brave. I know it was hard but I peomiseit gets easier from here on out."

That's when he lifted himself out of the pool to scoop me in his arms and carry me into the changing area. With my head bobbing against his chest, Kakashi awkwardly managed to dry me off and help dress me before leaning me up against the wall and dressing himself. With both of us clothes and my eyes unable to stay open, he picks me back up and exits the bath house. 

I wouldn’t know until the morning that we had spent the night at his house. In truth that didn’t matter. All I remembered after leaving the bath was being laid on a bed and tucked underneath clean fresh covers; the last thing I hear after kisses are placed on my forehead, "I will never let anyone else have you. I love you $Name. Sleep well." 

Then my eyes close and drift off to sleep as I yawn the words, "Thank you Daddy. I love you too."


	36. The Day After Tomorrow

I awoke on my side incredibly refreshed to the feel of a hand gently stroking back and forth over my hip and thigh as a succulent pair of lips pressed against my shoulder over and over. Thinking I might be still half asleep, I tried to focus on the sensations traveling over my body instead of the pull of the wakeful world around me. 

Sighing softly, I was quickly dragged into awareness by the deep tenor of Kakashi’s voice as his hand on my hip slipped down towards my navel on a sensual course much lower. 

“Good morning little one. I see you are finally awake.” 

Turning sharply into him my eyes locked with his as his hand slid between my thighs to tease the rapidly heating flesh between them. 

Gasping slightly as my back arched pushing my bare chest against his, I soon found his lips encasing mine in a less than chaste kiss; his tongue dipping into my mouth to slide around my own effectively stealing any sound I could make. 

It was also at that moment when his fingers tried to penetrate my slit that Shiro barked and a knock came at the door. 

“I told them you were sleeping but it is almost noon and Tsunade seems impatient. I can’t hold her at bay any longer.” Shiro's voice resonated in at least my mind as Kakashi groaned and pulled begrudgingly away from me. 

“What is it? I'm busy.” His tone is sharp. 

“I bet you are now get your asses out of bed and meet me in my office. We have a lot to discuss. 

Then there was silence allowing me to sit up and try to cover myself before Kakashi turned to face me. 

“Sleep well?” That was all he said with his disarming smile as I finally got a chance to digest the situation I found myself in. 

Looking around I realized we were at his place in his bed and we were both naked. Turning bright red I desperately backtracked mentally to the night before which caused my eyes to go wide and my breathing to catch in my throat. 

“Did we…” My voice trailed off as I looked at the wall refusing to meet his gaze.

“At the hot spring or when we came back?” He asked matter of factly which caused me to groan inside.

“When we came back you fell asleep and didn’t wake up until now. You looked so peaceful sleeping I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.” 

“How nice of you.” My voice was flat.

“I thought so considering what happened before that.” His voice deepened a little and I buried my head in my knees that I tucked against my chest. 

“Can we just get dressed and go see what Tsunade needs please?” My voice filled with anxiety and mortification.

“Of course. It’s not like we have much choice.” He turns to face the door and rises without giving a second thought to his nakedness. “Do you want me to grab your clothes so you don’t have to get up?”

Turning my head to the side so I don’t see anything I respond slightly strained, “Yes please.”

For several moments all I hear is rustling before a neatly piled set of clothes is laid in front of me; my underwear and bra arranged at the very top. 

“Did you have to put my undergarments on top like a pervert!” A flash of frustrated embarrassment caused me to lash out as I grabbed the pile. 

“They are the first things you need to put on so I assumed putting them on top was practical.” Was his only response.

“Yeah well, I would rather not think about your ogling my underwear!” I turn away from him. “Can you turn around or better yet leave while I get dressed? I’m not okay with you staring at me while I get ready.” 

“Even when I saw you naked all last night? It’s not like anything has changed.” 

Yelling over my shoulder, “It’s just not appropriate okay! We aren’t even dating so last night shouldn’t have happened. I let myself get carried away and that was a mistake. So just let me maintain a little bit of dignity will you?”

Pulling the covers over me completely I begin dressing under the sheet. 

“What if I told you I wasn’t okay with last night being a mistake? What if I told you I wanted us to officially start seeing each other. Would that make it so you wouldn’t feel ashamed of my clear desire to see all of you, especially in the privacy of my home?” Kakashi’s voice was serious. 

Finalizing the clasp at the back of my bra I pull the cups up to cover my breasts before lowering the sheet enough so he can see my head. 

“Can we talk about this when we don’t have somewhere to be?” 

For several moments he doesn’t respond, forcing me to turn so I can look over my shoulder. Though his face is blank he has covered his Sharingan which feels like a clear sign of a barrier between us that I do not know how to breach without dealing with some very difficult emotions. 

“I’ll be outside then.” 

Then he was gone without a trace and I am left to dress alone as thoughts of last night consume me in ways I am sure are entirely unhealthy. 

—————————

“Though the whistle you brought back seems to be an essential clue to unraveling the mystery surrounding everything that has happened to $Name since the first attack, we have been unable to track down the history of the item. From the information we have our best bet is to visit Otogakure and see if there is still any information to be found that would establish what might be being unleashed now that the village has been reconstructed. A man by the name of Inamaru is expecting you.”

Leafing through a few pages on her desk, Tsunade continues. “With there only being two of you, and one of you being potentially hunted, I am sending you with the support of Atsumu Yaseimei an Elite Hunter of the Yaseimei Clan. My hope is, should my other assumption be correct, that he can teach Shiro the Reverse Transformation Technique being a nine-tailed wolf God, even if only a descendent, he should have the chakra potential to transform himself into a human and back again without much difficulty. Since there aren’t any Jonin free to assist you and become a third member of your team, it seemed only logical to try to adapt Shiro to the position seeing as he can transform his size similar to Akamaru.”

Tsunade looks at the two ninjas for any sign of opposition. 

“He is scheduled to be here in a few days. Until then resume your training both together and with me while I will have Shiro train while you two are together with the Inuzuka Clan to improve his fighting and transformation skills.” 

For a few moments, no one spoke. 

“If there are no questions you are dismissed. Be prepared to depart as soon as he arrives. We don’t have any time to waste.” 

The two bow and they leave the room. 

Once outside neither $Name nor Kakashi speak until they are well out of earshot of the building. 

“Would you recommend we start today or tomorrow?” $Name eventually asked breaking the silence. 

“Tomorrow first thing. A lot has gone on and I think a little time to process that wouldn’t be a bad thing.” 

“Great then I’ll see you later sometime. I’m off to see Kiria.”

Without another word, $Name turned and darted off towards Kiria’s house without even a glance back over her shoulder.

“Looks like you screwed the proverbial pooch on that one. You shoulda kept your hands to yourself. 

Shiro’s blatant observations scaring Kakashi’s already flayed emotions as he came to a seated position next to him. 

“It’s not like I forced myself on her.” 

“It’s not like you forced yourself to be a gentleman either. All because you got sensitive over the idea that should she be captured again you wouldn’t be the first to claim her. I’m beginning to wonder if you don’t just want her because you can’t have her.” 

He then lifts his back foot to scratch his ear before getting up, doing a whole body shake and trotting off after her. 

“Since when did I garner such distrust?” Kakashi grumbled only to have a book dangled in front of his face from behind. 

“The minute you decided not to hide what a perv you were. Unlike me, you haven’t tried to make yourself available to women to have them love you so everyone just assumes you are a complete creepy perv.”

Pressing the book against Kakashi’s chest before releasing it into the confused ninja's hands, Jiraiya walked towards the entertainment district. 

“Come have a drink with me. Kiria has eyes on her and Shiro will be with her. You and I need to talk.” 


	37. Preventative Measures| The Densetsu Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My apologies this is a little late. My husband tried to give me his bronchitis and I managed to only get a nasty sinus infection so between that and the Ambien for my recently diagnosed insomnia I’m a little off. 
> 
> Lots of love ❤️

With her head pillowed in her arms as Shiro lay curled at her feet under the table, $Name groaned. 

“Look at it this way. At least it isn’t someone you detest right? I mean there are worse people to have to admit your feelings to. Besides, isn’t this what you want?”

Kiria’s soft tone barely contains her amusement at $Name’s predicament. 

“I mean, yes I wanted to know if my feelings are just one-sided but I wasn’t prepared to be completely overcome like I was. I must have sounded like an idiot saying all those ridiculous things.” 

Kiria reached out and placed her hand on $Name’s elbow. “Your true feelings never make you sound like an idiot. The only idiot is the person who can’t accept them because they are the most genuine form of yourself you can offer.” 

$Name sits up but leaves her arms crossed. “So what am I supposed to do now?” 

Smiling behind an exasperated sigh, Kiria shook her head. “If I were you I would be enjoying myself immensely. That man is one of the hottest and best-kept secrets romantically this village has to offer. There isn’t a sane woman here that isn’t part of the betting pool guessing what his secret techniques are in bed.” 

$Name blushed and began to squirm in her seat as Kiria chuckled softly. 

“Trust me when I say you should enjoy it while you can when you can. If what we think is happening comes to pass, you will lose even that basic right and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” 

$Name tensed. “Kakashi told me what everyone speculated happened.”

“And your thoughts?” 

$Name scrunched up her face. “I don’t know. I haven’t had much time to think about it. To be honest I blocked out much of what happened around my father's death so I can’t even tell you if the initial attack on me was a new development or something carried over from that incident. No one told me much of what happened. After hearing Kakashi say what this group is planning though I can’t help feeling like this is all connected though.” 

“I feel safe with Kakashi though even if he pushes my buttons in ways I’m not sure I’m ready to have pushed yet.” 

“Do you trust him?” 

$Name nods. 

“Do you trust him completely? Do you trust he will never jeopardize you or put himself first?”

$Name blushes and bows her head slightly. “I want to.”

“Do you believe he will love you no matter what?” 

$Name blushed deeper. “I don’t know, we haven’t ever talked about love.”

Kiria smiles. “So naïve. Tell me, how did he treat you while he was buried between your thighs. Did he do a rush job or did he savor it like a man languidly appreciating his favorite delicacy with perfectly timed licks, sucks, nibbles and kisses until your body felt like liquid fire?”

$Name’s head hurried in her hands as she tried to block out Kiria’s words. 

“By the looks of it, he did the latter. You see my dear men don’t need to tell you they love you to express the emotion. Any man worth his salt can carve the word love into his woman’s pussy using his tongue and can elicit an orgasm every time be it fast or slow just being in tune with her body. My guess is the first moments might not have been amazing but it didn’t take more than that for Kakashi to make love to you with his tongue in a way you will never forget, regret, or refuse.”

“Kiria!”

Ignoring her plight Kiria continued. “Did the two of you fall asleep after?” 

$Name just nodded. 

“Then my dear I don’t think you have anything to worry about from his end.”

Kiria’s face turned sad then. 

“There is something you and I need to discuss though.” 

$Name’s hands drop from her face and she stares worriedly at Kiria. 

“What is it?”

“Ever since word traveled about the possible reason for your capture, I have been torn about the best way to help you. Finally, after consulting with Tsunade, we have agreed on what we feel is the safest course of action.”

Reaching out Kiria took $Name’s hands. “Has Sakura or Ino ever talked to you about preventative sexual practices?” 

Blushing slightly $Name twists up her face. “No. I’m sure they didn’t want to rub it in my face that I was still single.” 

“I see.” Her voice was quiet. “Well, I would like to discuss them now.”

At the same time this discussion was going on, Jiraiya and Kakashi were talking on their own. 

“I’m impressed you were able to stop yourself,” Jiraiya said before taking a long swig of beer. 

“She had been through a lot and me barreling over her feelings wasn’t going to get me anywhere I wanted to go. Besides, I care about her and her well being. This isn’t just some casual thing.” 

“I should hope not. Course it would be interesting to see who killed you first between Tsunade and Kiria if you were fucking around with her.”

Kakashi visibly shuddered and Jiraiya barked out a laugh. 

“Still, try not to pressure the girl too much. You are supposed to elicit confidence and comfort, not foster something creepy. What was she supposed to think waking up to you all over her? Cant, you be more subtle?” 

Kakashi nearly spits out his drink before turning a glare on Jiraiya.

“That’s rich coming from you.” 

He shrugged. “I never overwhelm the new girls. I am always a gentleman first and foremost until they start getting cheeky and then all bets are off.” 

“What’s your point?” Kakashi grumbled. 

“My point is, don’t get carried away. You have to establish trust if you want her to fill even your deepest desires. It’s even more important now as we all try to keep her and the rest of the village safe. Should this thing come to pass, you will need to be the thing that holds her together. There is no telling what might happen to the two of you but if you don’t have a solid bond now she will never survive the trials ahead. She has no purpose other than being a great medical ninja. That isn’t enough to drive her forward if darkness surrounds her.”

Jiraiya takes a drink. “Also, be careful. Getting her pregnant now would severely complicate things.” 

This time Kakashi does spit out all the liquid in his mouth before a coughing fit ensues. 

“I’m amazed that thought never crossed your mind.” 

When Kakashi had his breathing under control he interjected. 

“Why would it? I can’t even get her to kiss me openly.” 

“Men have a strange sense of urgency when they feel they are being backed into a corner. I don’t want you to rush into anything without taking the consequences into account and then find yourself out in a limb with a strong wind whipping at you.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Please do.

———————

When $Name left Kiria’s heart heavier. 

“Here’s enough for a month, but you will need to practice until you have it memorized so you can make it just right. I don’t want there to be unfortunate complications.”

Kiria’s loving but concerned voice filled $Name’s mind as the information she divulged hung like a fog between them. 

In truth, the idea of taking a form of birth control shouldn’t be a big deal, but the fact that she would have to learn to make it on her own using common ingredients but very specific instructions laid out by Kiria so that in the event she was captured she could continue to take it discreetly was a heavy burden. 

There was also the moral dilemma of whether to tell Kakashi or not seeing as they weren’t currently involved in a relationship let alone a sexual one outside of last nights stand alone. 

Biting her lip as her core began to knot at the thought of repeating the events of last night, $Name willed herself to focus. There was a lot that needed to get done in the next few days before they left for their mission and that didn’t leave her much time to perfect how to make the recipe in between training. 

It did however mean there would be little opportunity for her and Kakashi to dally with things outside of their respective responsibilities. 

Shoving her hands into her pockets she toyed with the fabric of the small pouch where the pills lay as she headed back home; Shiro padding softly at her heels. Life was happening too fast now and too many things were pulling her in directions she didn’t know if she had the heart to follow. It wasn’t that many of the thoughts she had been faced with were things she hadn’t thought of, because she had, it was more they seemed to be things she could always deal with later some time in the future. 

So lost in her thoughts she wasn’t prepared for Kakashi’s voice which seems to materialize from nowhere. 

“Everything go alright with Kiria?” 

His tone was curious but held no overt jealousy or hostility as his eyes softly fell on her stunned and momentarily frantic ones. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t realize you didn’t notice me.” 

Placing her hand to her racing heart $Name shook her head. “It’s fine. There is just a lot in my mind. A lot happened and it seems, even more, has yet to happen and so feel like I can neither catch up nor get ahead of it all. It’s a little daunting.” 

Kakashi flashes his signature smile, “Least you don’t have to go through it alone.” 

$Name blushed as her heart constricts. 

“You don’t seem much like the babysitting type to me.” She teased but a little more harshly than intended.

“I’m not here to babysit you. I’m here as your partner even if you choose to restrict that meaning to just your teammate during missions. I can’t help how I feel but it won’t stop me from supporting you any and every way I can. I want you to realize that.”

$Name frowns and looks away. 

“I’m not here to pressure you. I’m sorry if I was out of line this morning. I promise it won’t happen again. Just let me help you. You don’t have to accept my feelings but I also won’t throw them in your face anymore. That isn’t fair to you.” 

Unsure if the disappointment in her eyes as she glanced back at him translated, $Name responded without thinking.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t already want to do. I just…I’m having a hard time coming to terms with everything going on. If I could go back to when I saw you in the hospital after the attack and I knew what I knew now I would…” 

She pauses for several moments and collects her thoughts. 

“Kakashi. I can’t do this by myself.”

“Okay.” That was all he said but the intense look in his eye never faltered as he held her gaze. 

“Can we…can we wait to figure this out until after this mess is sorted out? I want to be able to genuinely apply my feelings and I don’t think I can do that with everything else going on. I’m worried I will start applying feelings I don’t have and mixing up what I think I want with what I want and that isn’t fair to you.”

Neither his gaze nor his tone changes. “I would never want to put you in a position where you felt you had to lie about your feelings.” 

“Good. That’s reassuring.” Her relief was evident in the relaxation of her whole body. “Now in regards to last night.” Though no longer tense, her anxiety still spilled from her statement. 

“What about it?” He shrugged as casually as he could despite the storm of emotions roiling in his chest at the thought of being denied her both on an emotional and physical level. 

“I…I’m not sure we can let something like that happen again. At least not until this has all blown over. I wouldn’t want to complicate things or jeopardize our objective.” 

Raising an eyebrow, Kakashi walked towards her. 

“Was that your idea or someone else’s?” A slightly sharper curiosity seeping from his lips as he accented his consonants slightly.

“Mine. Kiria didn’t mention anything about it.” She tried to sound firm but there was a slight waver to her voice that betrayed her.

“I see. May I at least escort you home? I’m assuming since my presence is such a distraction that you would like to spend the night alone, but I would still like to make sure your place is at least safe for the two of you to stay here until our additional member arrives.” 

$Name nods. “That would be fine.” 

Unable to refute his statement that he was a distraction, the two leave a heavy tension between them until they arrive at her place and Kakashi scoured the premises. When he felt it was safe enough for her to enter he stood in the doorway for his goodbye. 

“We will meet in the same place for training that we trained at before. I’m not going to come to wake you so make sure you are on time.”

He turned to leave then but her frantic call of his name stopped him. 

“Kakashi…wait.”

Turning slightly he looked over his shoulder at her. 

“I don’t…I don’t want you to leave.” 

Sighing, he turned to face her. 

“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell me we need to wait and then hold me close, teasing me with everything I want but can’t have.” 

“I know. I realize that but the thought of you leaving and walking away makes me sick. He can’t handle being near you but I can’t be without you. I’m not sure what to do.” 

There is fear and anxiety in her face as her eyes peer angrily at him. 

Sensing by her posture that she isn’t intending to run away or push him away, Kakashi steps inside and walks towards her until he is arm's length from her. 

“Do you trust me? Do you trust I will never jeopardize you in any way and I will always protect you?” 

She nods sheepishly. 

“Do you trust me to love you without breaking you?” 

$Name’s eyes begin to water and she nods again.

“Then you are going to have to trust me to tell you when enough is enough.” 

He slides his mask off his face letting his lips fall to hers in a soft and gentle kiss as his hands come up to cup her cheeks. It is an earnest kiss full of promises that sets her mind at ease. 

Bringing her hands to his chest she sinks against him signaling the release he was hoping for. Slowly he guided her to the bed only to have them hit the mattress and her to shove his chest hard breaking their kiss and the euphoria of the moment. 

“Kakashi I can’t.” The frustration in her voice was evident. 

“Can you at least give me the real reason why instead of the half baked ones you made up?” 

His nose nuzzled hers but he didn't try to advance further as her face began to flush with embarrassment.

Groaning, she tried to cover her eyes with her hands but Kakashi grabs them and pins them behind her head. 

“No use running, I have you pinned.” 

“You shouldn’t torture someone you care about.” 

“I absolutely should. It’s more fun. Now are you going to tell me or am I going to go for the night?”

“Kakashi!” She whined. “That’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair is you not being honest.” 

He kissed the tip of her nose.

She huffs and sighs heavily.

“If you must know I wish to refrain from such activity because I want to make sure my body has a chance to adapt to the medicine I will be taking from tonight onward.” 

“Medicine?” Kakashi’s surprise evident in his tone and the widening of his eyes as a twinge of fear slid into them. “Are you sick?”

“No.” She snapped slightly. “It’s just something females take when they wish to be intimate with someone but not worry about the consequences those intimacies might manifest into.” 

For several minutes Kakashi stared at her with a look of complete bafflement until the conversation with Jiraiya raced across his mind making him blush slightly. 

“Oh. I see. I can respect that.” 

He kissed her forehead then and rolled to his side. “That’s all you had to say. Do you mind if I still sleep with you? I promise not to try anything.”

She looked at him skeptically but Kakashi just smiled. 

“You better not. I have a long day tomorrow and I don’t want to be kept up all night by you.” 

Kakashi raises his hands in surrender. “You have my word. So is the medicine something you need water for? Want me to get it for you?” 

$Name shakes her head. “You stay here where I can see you. Unless of course, you wanna get dinner started. I’m suddenly incredibly hungry.” 

“Funny, so am I but I don’t think we are hungry for the same thing.” 

He teased which earned him a pillow to the face before a wrestling match ensued that $Name promptly lost as Kakashi pinned her back beneath him on the bed. Swiftly claiming his price by leaning down to kiss her before rising and heading to the kitchen. 

“Don’t think I’ll go easy on you tomorrow just because I like you.” 

$Name blushed. 

“The thought never crossed my mind.” 

“Good because I won’t so make sure you get as much sleep as you can. You are going to need it.” 


	38. Where There Is A Will | The Densetsu Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay in posting. A lot has happened (including covid hitting my house and mom ending up in ER from going into diabetic shock) so it took me a while to be in the mindset to write. We are all covid free now and ready to move forward so here we go! 
> 
> Thanks for your patience! Lots of love ❤️ 
> 
> J/R

True to his word Kakashi lay in the bed on his back and slept without moving a muscle or uttering a word. Though still unsettling in its way, it was also reassuring. Feeling confident that no one would be able to abduct her if he was staying right beside her, $Name fell into a restless sleep, curled onto her side away from her companion, so she wasn't tempted to call her bluff.

When morning finally came, she was dragged into consciousness by the smell of freshly brewed coffee instead of her alarm. Exhausted, she attempted to stretch as she sat up gingerly, noting which muscles and joints were sore from trying not to move in her sleep.

"If I hadn't been on missions with you before, I would have thought you were a paranoid sleeper after last night."

Though his comments weren't welcome, the coffee he brought was so $Name did the best she could to curb her tongue.

"What is that supposed to mean? Shouldn't I be prepared for anything at any moment, sensei?"

The word rolling off her tongue with just a slight amount of defiant bitterness sent an arousing shudder down Kakashi's spine as her unamused eyes glared at him in a way that made him want to bend her over and punish her for her smart mouth.

Clearing his throat, he handed her the coffee and returned to the kitchen, where he was making a quick and portable breakfast she could eat on the way to the training grounds.

"Though true, there was no need for it last night, nor will there be a need so long as we are in the village and Shiro and I are with you. Now I'm going to have to pump you full of caffeine and protein just to get you through the morning."

Plating the omeletesque mixture onto a flatbread circle, Kakashi rolled it into a burrito before turning to make another.

If he was honest, she wasn't the only one who hadn't slept well. No sooner had she mentioned that she would start taking birth control as a preventative measure than his body went into overdrive. His testosterone level spiked, causing him to experience intense waves of overprotectiveness and arousal at even the smallest things she did and, as he now realized, said.

Yes, he had fantasized before about being sexually intimate with her. Still, with the topic of pregnancy now breached, Kakashi felt an overwhelming underlying need to dominate her sexually and make her his now before something happened. 

Reaching down and pressing his thumb into the blade of the cleaver he had been using to prepare the food, Kakashi relished the momentary pain of the knife cutting into flesh as it brought him back to focus.

"Idiot, are you trying to cut yourself?" The thunk of $Name's cup clunking on the small table near her before the patter of her bare feet coming up behind him grew louder. "That knife is for cutting food, not yourself. Where the hell is your mind?"

Her hand reached out and detached his from the knife before looking around frantically for something to staunch the bleeding that was now sliding down his thumb and splattering on the counter. With no towel or napkin in sight, $Name hesitated a few moments before wrapping her lips around the pad of his thumb and caressing the wound with her tongue. 

Unable to stop the course of events as it unfolded because his other hand was attempting to stir the food he didn't want to burn, Kakashi was forced to accept her ministrations while vainly attempted to control his bodies reaction.

"You know you don't need to do that. You can just heal it for me."

Removing her lips, $Name blushed. "I can't believe I didn't think of that." Positioning her hands above Kakashi's injured finger, $Name focuses her chakra on the wounded spot healing it quickly and with little effort.

Desperate to change the subject, she walked to the other side of Kakashi and caught the burrito. "Guess it's mine now."

Kakashi just rolls his eyes. "It was yours, to begin with." Slapping the next one together, he turned off the stove and cleaned up the dishes. "Bring that mug here if you are done."

Walking towards the mug, $Name grabbed it and downed the last little bit before bringing it to the sink and putting it with the other dishes.

"You gonna eat that?" $Name pointed to the other burrito hungrily.

"They were both for you. I ate already. I'm not lazy like you."

Snatching the other and taking a huge bite, $Name damn near choked on his last comment. Finally pulling herself together, she spat out, "I'm just surprised you can do anything besides reading porn and harass your students."

Coming up to stand in front of her, Kakashi leaned down and whispered in her ear as she indulged in another mouthful of burrito, "Someday all that porn will come in handy, though, at the rate you are going, you won't be benefiting from it any time soon."

Latching onto his words, $Name's mind snapped back to the night at the hot spring when Kakashi had given her a taste of just how adept he was courtesy of all of his light reading. Surprised, she could still remember in intimate detail how his tongue felt as it traced over her sensitive skin and the gentle way he touched her as if his hands worshipped every inch of her body; $Name gasped as her heartbeat elevated.

"Kakashi..." was all she could whisper as her eyes zeroed in on the clothed parts of his body that had been laid bare before her not that long ago.

"It seems you remember. Good. Make sure you don't forget."

Turning towards the door, he headed out. "At the rate you are going, it will be sunset before we even get started."

Clenching her fists and shaking her head at how infuriating he was, $Name stormed after him; her previous fatigue completely wiped away and replaced with a frustration stemmed from anger and arousal.

————————

"Have you gotten weaker since we got back? I remember you being able to do ten reps of fifty easily before. Now you seem winded after barely completing three."

Though his voice was teasing, his words still irritated her.

"It's not like I have gotten regular training since everything happened."

"Don't use your few days off in the hospital sporadically as the scapegoat for your decrease in strength."

"Well, if it isn't the hospital stay, then I guess the only other person to blame is you because had you done the right thing and stayed with me, none of this would have happened."

She wasn't teasing, and she had definitely crossed the line, but the anger and frustration inside of her at everything that happened just kept getting more and more intense until $Name felt like she was going to burst. That, mixed with whatever was going on between Kakashi and her, ended up just being an emotional rollercoaster.

After she said it, she could feel his eyes glaring at her as if she had ripped off the scab on a freshly healed wound and was now rubbing with salt. He didn't speak right away, nor for several minutes, but when he did, he was deathly serious.

"I own my part in what happened to you, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't do far more damage to myself internally than you could ever do with your words. I may never feel I have the right to be forgiven by you, especially since the threat is still out there and still real. Can you even imagine what it feels like to know that even with me with you, there is a chance I won't be able to save you the next time? That thought has never crossed my mind. To top it all off, even the Hokage and Kiria have prepared for me to fail by giving you medicine to stave off pregnancy."

He sat there in his tree, speechless for a moment, before continuing.

"There is only one time in my life that I have felt this hopeless and this unprepared. It was not a feeling or situation I wanted to repeat. I even swore to myself I would never let it happen, yet here we are, and here I am on the verge of losing something and someone I hold more dear than my own life yet again."

Hopping down, he walked towards $Name but does not stop until he is standing shoulder to shoulder with her, her eyes watching him as she tries to catch her breath.

"You may come to hate me for how I choose to protect you, but I won't let those events repeat. I'm not going to lose you to anyone or anything. We don't have that many days left before we leave, and I plan on using every method I have at my disposal to prepare you for what might be in store in the days ahead. If I can't be trusted to keep you safe, then I can at least entrust to you the skills you need to keep yourself safe."

Then he steped forward and began walking towards town.

"Make sure to listen and ask lots of questions when you are with Kiria and Tsunade. Their knowledge is indisputable, and you never know what you might need, so don't dismiss any of it."

Then he was gone, and $Name was left with a sense of foreboding that she refused to let root in her heart. Kakashi would keep her safe. There was no way he couldn't, and even if something happened, she knew he would always be there to save her.

Shrugging off the oppressiveness that attempted to surround her, $Name headed back herself, ready to receive the other facet of her training so that maybe, just maybe, she might even be strong enough to save Kakashi from himself should the need ever arise.


	39. Put Away Your Crystal Book of Imaginary Endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is thanks to Medic72876 who provided me some insight and perspective needed to rework the flow.

“It is unfathomable that you insist on being this stubborn and stupid.”

$Name frowns at Kiria as they sit across from each other at her kitchen table after their session.

“Don’t look at me like that; you know you are.”

“How am I stupid? Humor me.”

Kiria rolls her eyes and sighs. “You told him you wanted to wait because you wanted to make sure the birth control had taken effect, correct?”

$Name scrunches her eyes. “Yes.”

“I’m sure I know the answer but have you revisited the recipes I gave you?”

$Name’s frown deepens. “Recipes?”

Whipping open her fan with a crack, Kiria fans herself with constrained exasperation. “No, as I expected.”

“But I thought you gave me a recipe for birth control only?”

“I did you brainless twit, but I sent you two. The first was for birth control so your body could regulate itself with help. The second on the back was for more immediate use.”

“More immediate use?” $Name’s confusion was evident.

“What the hell good are Ino and Sakura as friends if they let you be this innocent. I need to talk with those girls. Anyway, the recipe on the back was for what we call the morning after pill. You need to memorize that too. I didn’t realize I needed to explain it, and it only requires a few variations on the first resume, but you need to learn it tomorrow. In the meantime, I will give you some that I keep on hand for the women of the village who specialize in men’s pleasure.”

Holding out her hand for a few seconds, the adorable Chichiri comes bounding in and climbs onto the table before depositing a small blue bag.

“Take this and do yourself a damn favor and use one tomorrow after you have given in to that poor man. Trust me when I say you need to do this before you leave the village where it is safe, or you have a much higher probability of regretting it later should something happen.”

$Name turns bright red, and her eyes go wide. “But Kiri, we aren’t even-“

“And whose fault is that!” He slams her hand and her fan down onto the table and yells at $Name, cussing her to flinch. “Why does he have to be the one to admit his feelings first? Why do you have to be so timid and spoiled? How can you not see he loves you! I swear to everything holy, you are going to make a mess of this, and there will be no one to blame but yourself. You need to let go of your childish image of what a man is and learn to see him like a woman would with a woman’s priorities. Otherwise, he will walk out, and you will die a virgin!”

Pinching her brow, Kiria sighed.

“Look over the recipe and be ready to practice and discuss it tomorrow. Now go.”

Stunned into silence but realizing there is nothing left to say, $Name rises, clutching the bag, and turns to leave. Stunned by Kiri’s anger and ashamed of herself, she headed quietly home using what little sunlight was left as the sky turned to nite to find her way.

“Learn to see him as a woman would with a woman’s priorities,” was what Kiria had said.

Squeezing the bag, the small round beads digging into her palm, $Name felt conflicted and frustrated. Why was it so crucial for her to hear Kakashi say he was in love with her or ask her if she would go out with him? Having Kiria throw it in her face made it seem even more childish and stupid despite being both the barrier and the security blanket that allowed $Name to feel like the man she was with actually loved her even half as much as her father had.

But why did he need to love her like that? Why did she still need to have a man make her feel protected and safe like some China doll? Sure her father had never kept anything from her, let her get dirty, and kissed her booboo’s, but looking back at it now, she knew there was no way Kakashi could love her like that.

Because she didn’t honestly want Kakashi to love her like that, she thought she had because she didn’t want to take responsibility for her emotional growth, choosing instead to let a dead ideal define her. After all, change was scary and required her to test boundaries she didn’t want to face.

Coming back home after Kakashi went to rescue her and she had been put in the same spot where she had been when the tragedy happened, faced with the destruction of her team, had made her realize that she was no longer the scared little girl that needed someone else to protect her so she never had to feel overwhelmed.

“A woman’s priorities, huh.”

It had stung to hear Kiria admonish her friendship with Sakura and Ino, but the woman hadn’t been wrong. Much to her loss, the girls had helped shield her from the world of men that they so quickly had fallen into partly because she had no male figure to help her navigate it and partly because they knew just how emotionally devastating it was while also not knowing how to help guide $Name through it themselves.

That had to change. Shifting her thoughts to Kakashi, she thought back on all the things he had done and all the opportunities she had wasted because it had been easier to push him away than let him in.

“I’ll have to apologize to Kiria tomorrow. Right now, there is someone else who needs that apology more.”

Determined to hear it, determined to have him admit it, $Name took the quickest way back before opening the door to a dark and empty home.

It was a frightening thing to once again be in the house alone. $Name hadn’t realized how much she had relied on Kakashi to give her a sense of safety until he was no longer there. Glancing at the bed and the dishes still in the sink, she also knew no one had been home since this morning which was only a slight relief since it should also mean no suspicious individuals should be in the house either.

Moving towards the bed, she turned on the light before heading to the sink to wash dishes. Though the red walls were comforting because they reminded her of Kakashi, it also made her sad because it now felt like that intimacy was slipping away.

“Would you like me to go find him?” Shiro had asked in his most reassuring voice.

“No, thank you though. He will come home when he is ready.”

Though Shiro left it at that as far as $Name knew, he decided instead to seek out another who would be able to give him the prod he needed.

———————

There hadn’t been very many days recently that Kakashi had chosen to visit the grave of his father and relive the painful journey that had brought him to acceptance of who he was today. Finding himself now tested with his love for a woman who insisted on pushing him away, he hoped to find solace in his father’s loving and ceaselessly compassionate memory before embarking on a journey he believed would stretch him to his emotional limits.

Sitting down in front of his father’s headstone Kakashi reached out to the silence.

“It is a shame you never talked about mom. It would have been helpful to know exactly what she was like, though to have loved a man like

you she must have been an angel.”

Reaching out to the cold stone, Kakashi brushed clean the engraving.

“I also imagine she had a little fire in her else; you would have never kept to your convictions the way you did. Much as I am finding now, women have a strange way of keeping men on the path that forces them to grow and see love as something beyond words, but as tangible emotions and thoughts that sweep us up and drive us forward to the path, we are meant to take.”

Looking up at the cloudless sky, he breathed deeply of the night air, letting it cleanse his body and his troubled mind with its slight chill.

“I have come to realize I am not afraid to love her. It is quite the opposite. I am afraid I will never convince her that my love is enough.”

Kakashi remained silent a moment, letting the gentle breeze carry his thoughts into the heavens where they dance among the dreams of children and angels, before mingling with the stars.

“If mom were here, I would ask her how father was able to convince her he was the one.”

“And knowing your mother, she would tell you that no man can convince a woman until she has convinced herself. All he can do is stand with her as she strives to find the best version of herself to bring out the best version of him. The love between successful couples is written under the skin. It is not something you can step into or take off but rather something you grow into.”

Turning so he can see over his shoulder Kakashi watched as Kiria seemed to materialize from the shadow of a tree.

“It isn’t important how I knew you were here only that I get you to where you belong.”

Kakashi looked at her curiously.

“If my intuition is correct, should you choose to dally here much longer, you may miss out on a golden opportunity you will regret not taking.”

Turning around, Kakashi touched the soil with his hand before rising and disappearing towards home.

————————

When Kakashi got to $Name’s house, the lights were off, and the place was silent. Reaching out to the knob, Kakashi suddenly felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, which caused him to turn around and look.

“I just got her to sleep. Shiro came and got me after she arrived home, and the place was empty. She was scared but trying to hide it by cleaning, which she was doing diligently but with anxiety when I got here.”

“Thanks, old man. I went to visit Dad’s grave. At least until Kiria found me and said, it was in my best interest to head home.”

“I see. Everything alright?”

Kakashi just nodded.

“Well, good luck.” Jiraiya gave him the thumbs up before heading off down the street to the Orchid, leaving Kakashi shaking his head until he quietly opened and shut the door.

Not moving until he had determined she had remained asleep, Kakashi crept silently towards the bed before kneeling. With eyes still closed and her breathing even, her face looked at such peace he felt a song of guilt that he hadn’t been the one to make her feel that way.

“You gonna stare at me all night, or are you coming to bed?” Her slightly irritated voice broke the silence causing him to fall back on his ass in surprise. “And no, you didn’t wake me. Shiro did, letting me know you had gotten back, so I wasn’t frightened by you coming back late.”

Wrapping his arms around his knees as he sat on the floor, Kakashi’s response held no excuses.

“I went to visit my Dad’s grave. I needed advice.”

“Don’t you know dead men tell no tales?” $Name sat up and pulled the blankets around her as she stared down at Kakashi.

“It seems you are correct, but I still found the answers I sought regardless.

“Is that so. Well, that’s good. Maybe you can answer a question for me then since you have now obtained the wisdom you sought.”

Leaning forward so he could kneel next to the bed, Kakashi rested his palms on his thighs. “What question is that?”

Looking deep into his eyes, a sad look crossed her face.

“Tell me, white wolf, why do I have to ask? If I trust you, which I do, why do you not also trust me the same way you request I trust you?”

For several breaths, Kakashi just stared as if stunned. Though so simple a question, it carried layers of meaning that he had clearly not considered but was now having to be accountable for.

Time and time again, he had asked if she trusted him to protect her heart and the feelings that existed between them but had then not given her an avenue to receive that same trust from him back. It was as if by receiving her confidence, he thought he could carry the weight for them both, but after his conversation with Kiria, he realized that wasn’t true or fair.

“You don’t.” He finally said. “And I won’t make you. Instead, I will just be honest and expect you, in turn, will be honest too.”

He stood up quickly and pressed his lips into hers before guiding her to her back amongst a bulging fluffy comforter. Elated that she did no resist nor tried to pull away and instead kissed back with a slight shyness Kakashi continued.

“I’m in love with you and would wait for you even if you denied me the rest of my life. I don’t want to be a replacement for someone you lost but the completion of who you are right now. I love everything about you and will do everything in my power to keep you safe, even at the expense of myself. So if your question is why then my answer is when because I would take all of you right now to be entirely mine if only you would let me.”

His words were so sincere, and the look in his eye held such conviction that $Name wanted to give in if not for her need to want to push his buttons even further.

Lifting her hand to his cheek, she brushed its surface.

“If you want that answer-“ sliding her hand up to take hold of his bandana, $Name cocked a half-smile, “look at me with both those eyes and ask again.”

Pulling off the bandana, she tossed it off to the side before letting her hand fall to the bed so Kakashi could put his hand inside it and link his fingers with hers before asking once again.

“When $Name?”

She replied with a slight sultry tone, “The answer to that, my dear Kakashi, is now.”


	40. Requested Chapter | Optional Read | Enséñame (Teach Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: I wanted to ask you author-chan if you could please write a chapter inspired by the song (even if that chapter fit perfectly, still and if you want to, obviously, i would love to read a "complete" chapter on)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can be read or not depending on if you wish to read sex or not. Though content will be referenced later, this chapter can be skipped over.
> 
> By the way not gonna lie completely stressed this isn’t the sex chapter you guys were hoping for 😆

**Lyrics (Google Translated)**

**It is a pain to know that ours can end**

**Because simply and simply, I have never known how to act**

**And I know you die for me, you live for me, and you've never left me behind**

**Although you know that sometimes I am just fear**

**But you live in me, next to me**

**Inside me, in this confused heart**

**That's why I'm asking you, please**

**Teach me to love you a little more**

**And to feel with you**

**The love that you give me melts away the cold**

**I want to see you now**

**Teach me to love you a little more**

**And to live with you**

**That I can't stand the anxiety of knowing you are mine**

**I want to go where you go**

**Far from thinking that I'm doing wrong**

**I have to admit that all this has gone wrong for me**

**That's why I'm going to learn, I'm going to live, I'm going to hug you more and more**

**And I don't want to, and I shouldn't, and I can't stop seeing you (stop seeing you)**

**But you live in me, next to me**

**Inside me, in this confused heart**

**That's why I'm asking you, please**

**Teach me to love you a little more**

**And to feel with you**

**The love that you give me melts away the cold**

**I want to see you now**

**Teach me to love you a little more**

**And to live with you**

**That I can't stand the anxiety of knowing you are mine**

**I want to go where you go**

**It is a pain to know that ours can end**

**Because simply and simply, I have never known how to act**

**Teach me**

**And to feel with you**

**Fadeaway the cold**

**I want to see you now**

**Teach me to love you a little more**

**And to live with you**

**That I can't stand the anxiety of knowing you are mine**

**I want to go where you go**

——————

For a moment, all Kakashi could do was stare into $Name’s eyes in disbelief. Had she said what he thought she said? Could he have her, have all of her, right now? Searching the depth of her eyes whose pupils had dilated to fill a larger portion of the iris for an answer or fleeting emotion, he hadn’t even realized he had stopped breathing until her left hand came to rest over his heart and her soft voice broke the roaring sound in his ears.

“Kakashi, breathe.”

Taking in a deep shuddering breath, he collected himself one final time as his hand came to his face covering it, and pulled it down around his neck.

“I’d much rather steal yours and every emotion portrayed within each one.”

At that moment, as her lips parted gently, allowing greed to take over, all Kakashi wanted was to see her open like a lotus to him, sharing every stage of her sexual development and expression as her entire body blossomed, losing all vestiges of virginity to his insatiable desire.

He wanted her to breathe only the life he gave her and live off the love they made together; consumed by his desire and enshrouded in his embrace, they could then lose themselves entirely to this force beyond man’s harnessing.

Like a droplet of water after a rainstorm that clung to an adobe tile until filled to overflowing, Kakashi’s lips dropped down towards her own, causing the shutters of her eyes to close, forcing her to see through her lips the gentle feel of his tongue as he slid it across her plush lower lip wetting its dry surface without over saturating it.

Feeling her tense underneath him at the unexpected sensation, her hand clenching in his as her back arched slightly, Kakashi tucked his chin and placed the bridge of his nose to the underside of her jaw before running it across its smooth arc.

Rapidly her breasts ascended towards him as she took in a quick sharp breath, but it wasn’t time, and this wasn’t an invitation. Finishing the arc at her ear Kakashi sunk gently atop her pushing her softly back to the bed before nuzzling the inner maze of her ear, the tip of his nose slipping behind the lobe to caress its back while his tongue traced the outer rim.

Turning her head into his touch, she breathily called his name, her words carrying a beckoning laced with her budding need. Rooted to the bed by his right hand while her left was pinned beneath his chest, she found herself deprived and unable to demand anything of him, leaving her altogether at his mercy.

Opening her eyes with a slightly pleading look, $Name sought Kakashi’s wanting to see as much as feel the emotions transpiring between them. As if sensing her gaze, Kakashi lifted his eyes to meet hers seconds after, shifting his weight to release the hand pinned between them.

Releasing next his twined fingers from hers, he brought then to her cheek, cupping it gently in his palm before caressing its softness with his slightly calloused thumb.

Snared by the gentleness of his eyes and the reassurance of his touch, $Name’s face began to heat and her heart race. Where should she go from here? What was she supposed to do? She had no sexual experience, not to mention that Kakashi had been the one to instigate everything. Blushing even harder at the thought of reciprocating the things he had done, she bit her lower lip subconsciously.

Watching the anxiety play out on her face despite his reassuring touch, Kakashi knew he had to guide her away from her thoughts, much like he had the night at the spring. However, tonight he would teach her instead of showing her the reassurance she needed to develop her sexuality instead of just submitting to others' expectations.

Dropping his lips once again slowly to hers, he watched her release her lip leaving them parted as he kept his suspended so only the plushest flesh came in contact; the words he spoke causing him to caress the recently dampened flesh of hers like butterfly wings.

“Kiss me.”

Pressing firmly into her lips as the last syllable escaped, Kakashi put his request into action. Sucking in her bottom lip and nursing it a moment before releasing it, he delved the wet and slick heat of his tongue into her waiting mouth, his muscle entangling hers savored the shuddering rush of helplessness that yielded a sinking surge of warmth made by her body going limp as he drew out a moan he stifled with the reapplied pressure of his lips.

Caught in the smoldering intensity of his words, $Name kissed back softly at first, testing the resilience of her body should he wish to engulf her for her timidness completely. When his lips responded in kind, kissing her back with mirrored but more assured gentleness, she latched onto the fear holding her back. She began kissing him with gradually increasing intensity that swiftly made her dizzy.

Bringing one hand to his shoulder and one to his chest, $Name clung to him for purchase while her insistent mouth parted, letting her tongue slip over his lips and send tremors along her nerves while he hummed into her brazen advances.

Separating his lips with one final kiss, Kakashi brought them to her neck, where he kissed and licked the depressions carved within its taught surface in hopes of drawing a more profound and more sensual pleasure from her stimulated nerves.

Digging her fingers into his shoulder, $Name sought the same tangible passion Kakashi’s lips fed on as they savored its weak saltiness and soothed the slight prickling of her skin. Much to her frustration, all she gleaned was cloth making her groan in frustration.

Releasing the fabric, she slid one hand to the zipper of his flack jacket, unfastening it with a yank as her right hand held the collar. With his coat now undone, she began yanking at the fabric of his shirt until his lips brushed her ear.

“What do you intend to do with me once you undress me?”

Frozen by the deep, seductive tenor of his voice, $Name stopped and closed her eyes, her hands still clutching the base of his shirt.

Capitalizing on her disoriented state, Kakashi continued, “I know what I want to do with you, Princess.”

Deftly his hands came to her abdomen and slid under her worn tee before following the sensual curve of her sides. Bringing them to rest beside her breasts, his thumbs brushed over the sides and undersides of each breast simultaneously without actually teasing her nipples.

Arching her back, causing her breasts to wobble side to side into and away from Kakashi’s touch, $Name sucked in a breath between her teeth before closing her lips and giving a short moan.

“You’re a wretch; you know that? All I want is you to feel the same things I am. I don’t want it like last time where you took everything, and I was left feeling guilty.”

The pout on her lips, the frustration, and guilt

in her voice and the slight furrow to her brow made Kakashi’s cock tighten as it twitched in his pants. Unable to resist because he wanted to see more of the feelings and expressions she had hidden before at the hot spring when her insecurity had gotten the best of her, Kakashi pulled his hands back and sat upon his heels; his body is shifting, so he sat next to her instead of straddling her on the bed.

“Undress me then, unless you want to watch me do it for you.”

Torn for a moment, $Name hesitated but did not release her hold on his shirt until she sat up and faced him. With their torsos once again parallel, she tucked her legs underneath her and brought her hands to his flack jacket before sliding it off his arms and letting it fall from her fingers over the side of the bed, her eyes never leaving his. 

With his shirt and mask the only pieces of clothing left on his upper body, $Name took a moment to soak in his rarely seen definition.

“You know, it’s a good thing you always wear that jacket in public. I’m not sure I’d be okay with you walking around without it. You have such a nice body; I’d hate to have to deal with everyone else realizing that, though I’d be quite happy if you went without it at home.”

Not realizing how quiet it had gotten, $Name enjoyed the view a little longer before Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled.

“What was it you said? If you mean it, why don’t you say it with the mask off? Well, if you mean it, why don’t you say it when I’m naked so it doesn’t feel like all you are doing is teasing me.”

Surprise and shock were written all over $Name’s face until her eyes took in the sight of Kakashi’s pouting face, a furrowed brow, and insecure stance as he looked off to the side. 

Placing her hand on his forearm, she softly spoke, “I’d love to, but you have to put your arms down first, silly.”

Turning his eyes on her, $Name’s heart clenched and skipped a beat as she saw the insecure and desperately lonely side of Kakashi no one knew existed. Overcome with both his attractiveness and sensitivity, $Name grabbed him by the face and kissed him roughly before reaching down and grabbing his shirt so she could yank it off over his head.

Once his shirt and mask were removed and discarded over the bed in between fervent kisses, $Name repeated herself; her lips brushing his ear as her hand slid up and down his side as if by seeing his softer side, a light switch had flipped, allowing $Name to see him as less of an overwhelming hero figure and more like the man he was.

“Kakashi, you are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen, and I don’t want a moment to go by from this point on that you don’t know that’s how I feel.”

Covering his blush with his hand, $Name kissed down his neck the same way he had, making sure to suck and nibble the most prominent tendons, eliciting a delicious moan every time. Gaining more and more confidence with every reaction, $Name continued to kiss across his collar bone and down his chest, letting her hands come to rest on the side of his arms below his shoulders.

“Still know what you want to do with me now that you are a blushing, embarrassed mess?” $Name teased before pulling him down beside her so she could run her hand over his chest while she propped her head up with the other.

Glaring at her, he brought the knuckle of his index finger to her neck before trailing it down her exposed skin.

“Guess you have to wait and see.”

Before she could blink, her shirt had been lifted, and Kakashi’s lips were around her nipple as he licked and teased the hardening flesh.

A strangled whine escaped $Name’s lips as her free hand tangled in his hair, pulling his head into her.

“Kakashi, that isn’t fair. I can’t-“

“You can.”

Sucking hard one final time, leaving a pleasant soreness pulsing from her nipple, Kakashi raised his head and captured her lips in a needy kiss before whispering, “Touch me. Please.”

Her clit ached as she felt in her core the desperate request he had been holding back until now. Though it seemed so simple, to

$Name it was the turning point for all her failed relationships and the crux of what it took for her to move beyond her childish dreams of love as affection into the all-consuming realm of love as an extension of passion and human connection.

With her mind whirling and her body tensing, Kakashi slid his hand under her shirt and down her side before sliding it up and down her inner thighs, his fingers pressing against the flesh, requesting her to part them.

Wanting desperately to give in so he could soothe the ache she felt, $Name also knew he deserved the same. Knowing without a doubt she loved him and wanted to be intimate with him, she reached down and took his hand before placing it at her hip.

“Kiss me.” 

Knowing he wouldn’t deny her request, which he didn’t, $Name focused on the feel of his lips and how they made her feel before sliding her hand down Kakashi’s torso and teasing her finger under the waistband of his pants.

Though she hadn’t even touched him, her intent was enough as Kakashi gasped against her lips and called out her name as his abdomen tensed and the fingers on her hip dug into her flesh.

Surprised by such an intense reaction, &Name captured his lips again before sliding her hand completely underneath his pants and wrapping her fingers around his shaft.

“Fuck.” That was all he said as his breathing quickened.

Filled with panic that she had done something wrong, $Name began to release her grip, but Kakashi’s firm reply stopped her.

“Don’t let go. Please, do anything but let go. I can’t…I need you not to let go.”

He kissed her then with super quick pecks trying to draw her attention back. Eventually, she bit his bottom lip before kissing him more lovingly as her hand began to slide up his length.

Marveling at the softness and heat of his skin as well as the broken sounds of pleasure escaping Kakashi’s lips between kisses, $Name slowly lengthened her strokes before pulling her lips from his and moving them to his neck.

Fingers began stroking her hair as Kakashi shifted to his back, giving her plenty of room to establish her comfort level. Now hovering over him, she kissed up and down his neck like an animal feasting on a kill as her hand increased its pressure as well as its speed wanting to drag every sound and twitch of his body out as she could.

With the next stroke up, her hand slid over the slick precum that had overflowed from his slit. Embarrassed, she tried to rerelease her hand, but this time Kakashi took control instead of telling her to continue.

Sitting up in a flash as her fingers released, he yanked off her shirt and pressed her into the mattress before yanking off her pants and inserting himself between her thighs.

“Kakashi! No fair!” She whined, but his lips at her inner thigh as he kissed and bit at the sensitive flesh had her clit aching and beginning to seep as memories of the last time he had been in the same spot rushed across her mind.

Ignoring her protest, Kakashi instead slid his tongue from the outside of her lip to her knee before pressing the leg flat, but comfortably along with the mattress slightly bent so he could rest his head on the thickest part of her thigh while his fingers slid to her clit.

“You are the one who said she wanted to feel the same things I did. I’m just making sure that happens.”

Dipping his thumb into her slit, Kakashi slid it up her folds before circling it around the enraged bud as his other hand snaked up and teased her nipple.

Giving a frustrated sigh, $Name tried not to be affected by the insistent stroking of her most sensitive bundle of nerves. Still, Kakashi being persistent, kept a lazy eye on her while adjusting the speed, the number of fingers applied, the pressure and slickness until she was biting her lip and squirming.

“Kakashi, if you keep that up, I’ll-“

Removing his fingers, he blew cold air across her bulb before bringing his tongue to it and giving it a long, slow lick savoring the sight of her back arching violently and her mouth ripping open in a high-pitched cry.

Feeling her opening spasm against his tongue, Kakashi slid up her torso and carefully inserted himself between her thighs, making sure to stay planked above her.

When $Name’s breathing had finally stabilized, he sought her lips one last time, making sure to slide his tongue deep within her mouth so she could taste her sweetness as he had.

When he finally separated so they could catch their breath, he placed his forehead on hers and looked deep into her eyes.

“I want you to know I’m desperately in love with you. So in love, I don’t want to know what life is like without you. I want all of you. Will you let me have you?”

Unable to speak, $Name just nodded bashfully.

“Alright. If it hurts, it will only be for a second.”

He kissed her again and again as his body lowered to hers. He could feel the slight tremble of her flesh as he lowered his hips and spread her legs with his allowing him a better entry. Attempting to reassure her with intermittent I love you’s, Kakashi pressed the head of his cock against her opening before placing his lips at her neck and biting down.

The low needy moan that escaped was rapidly replaced with a much louder one as $Name’s hands latched into his shoulders and dug in until Kakashi’s flesh broke, allowing small beads of blood to well up when her nails scratched down; his cock having slid in smoothly stretching her almost beyond comfort until he felt himself bottom out.

Gasping, $Name in over stimulated mild discomfort and Kakashi in an attempt to reign in his rapidly approaching orgasm, the two remained motionless a moment before Kakashi leaned his head down to nuzzle the underside of her chin.

Sensing his concern which is only slightly more intense than the ache of her walls as they struggle to adapt to Kakashi’s girth, $Name raised her hand and brought it to his head which she started stroking.

“It’s alright. Just give me a moment. It’s…a lot to take in.”

$Name could feel the sudden heat against her cheek and knew he is blushing at her comment. Moving the hand in his hair to his chin, $Name tilted his head up before bringing his face to hers so she could kiss him gently.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I’m the one that doesn’t know what to do or how to make you enjoy it.”

Her words against his lips carried the full weight of her embarrassment and anxiety, which Kakashi quickly remedied.

“All you have to do is never take your hands off of me.”

Bringing his lips to her cheek, he kissed it as his hips slowly begin to pull back. Unable to control her response, $Name stiffened anticipating pain; her hands clenching back on his shoulders which makes him stop, but her strained continue returns him to his slow retracting thrust.

It is agony in its purest form. Having her underneath him but unable to bring her pleasure due to her body's need to adapt is like trapping him in an orgasm he can never reach until he goes mad. Yet it is a level of madness he would subject himself to again and again as slowly her body relaxed and began to mold into his willingly; her moans soon returning as her hips started to meet his thrusts.

Bringing his lips to her nipple so they can brush across its surface as he speaks, Kakashi inquires, “Does it still hurt?”

A rumbling hum escapes $Name’s lips as she begins to trace her fingers over Kakashi’s muscled back.

“No, I think I’m fine now. You can go faster and deeper.”

Almost choking on his intake of breath, Kakashi digs his fingers into the sheets and begins to thrust his hips faster, lifting his head to watch her face as his thrusts penetrate her as she had asked.

Eyes closed, mouth open, tongue slowly tracing her lips as each thrust just barely bottomed out, Kakashi felt his arousal spike at the look of rising pleasure that crossed her face. Wanting to see more, wanting to feel more, he sat up and brought his thumb to his lips before placing it at her clit.

Timing his thrust, Kakashi began to apply steady pressure on her hood as he slid in and out, his left hand moving to her right hip so he could grab ahold of her and help leverage his thrusts making them snap at the end so he sinks in deep and sharp.

It barely took two thrusts before her fluids washed over him, and squelching sounds could be heard as his shaft slid in and out. With her hands behind her gripping the headboard as her back arched, she had lost the ability to scream, choosing instead to whimper and call his name.

“Kakashi, please…yes…yes….oh my god…don’t stop.”

Knowing full well he couldn’t even if he wanted to, he now increased the speed and intensity of his thrusts one final time driving into her at a steady pace that had her walls clamping and a hand coming down to grab a fistful of hair only seconds before her body spasmed; her orgasm crashing over her like a tidal wave. Releasing her clit, Kakashi grabbed her hips in both hands and pulled her into his thrust, slamming against her cervix over and over until his orgasm released deep inside, causing his body to shudder before curling over as his wobbly arms attempted vainly to support his weight.

The two don’t move, focusing only on calming their racing hearts before bringing their eyes towards one another, causing $Name to blush.

Sensing her inability to speak due to the intense emotions she must be feeling, Kakashi carefully leaned down, making sure not to pull out so he can kiss her lovingly, his left hand coming to her cheek so he can stroke it gently.

“I guess it’s safe to say it felt good?”

She nodded, her eyes widening a little.

“I’m worried it wasn’t for you.”

Kissing her softly again, he smiled. “You never have to worry about that. It will always feel amazing with you.”

$Name frowned. “I doubt that. You always do so much more than me. I have no idea where to put my hands or what I should touch and how. I just feel like you have had better.”

Nipping at her lower lip, Kakashi flicks her forehead. “More experience doesn’t mean better. If there are no emotions, it’s just sex. Anyone can have sex. I’m sure Sakura and Ino know all about that.”

Groaning, $Name hid her eyes behind her hands but not for long as Kakashi pulled them away.

“Don’t focus on what they have done. Focus on what we are doing, what we could do, and what we haven’t done that you would like to. That is far more constructive.”

Lowering his head, he placed a kiss at her breast above her heart.

“As long as you are with me and only ever want to be with me, that is enough. Nothing we do in bed or anywhere else can tarnish that.”

Pouting, $Name’s insecurity wriggled back out. “But Kakashi. I don’t want to ask you to do something you don’t want to do, or I think I will do badly.” Her bright red face and conviction were beginning to turn him on again.

“Well, we just made love and I enjoyed that even though it was your first time, so I have confidence it will feel good no matter what.”

Name sighed, heavily unconvinced.

“Don’t be upset. There is something specific you are beating around the bush over. Would it make a difference if I told you, as long as you didn’t get upset, I would tell you what to do to make it feel good no matter what it is?”

She scrunches her face a moment before nodding.

“Alright. That was easy. Just know I expect you to tell me as well as it comes up. I don’t want you doing anything that doesn’t feel good.”

She nods again, and her face softens.

“Now, is there something you want to do that you were afraid to ask for or worried over?”

$Name nods as she locks eyes with him.

“Alright, do you want to tell me what it was?”

She nods and then wiggles her finger for Kakashi to come in close. When his head is close to hers, $Name takes ahold of his cheek before bringing her lips to his ear and whispering, “Take, I want to taste you as you did me. I want you to lie there and let me put my tongue and lips all over you until you can’t stand it anymore, just like you did to me at the hot springs.”

If he could have cum right then and there, he would have, but having been too limp up until that moment, he instead only succeeded in giving himself a very painful hard-on.

Groaning in pleasure at the idea, $Name pulled him gently to his back before nestling like a little bunny all tucked up at his groin. With erection at full mast, $Name reached out and touched it gently, making Kakashi shudder before bringing her tongue to the underside and licking the length of his shaft.

Biceps bulging from how hard he was gripping the headboard, Kakashi let out a humm as $Name tasted the mixture of fluids in her mouth a moment before returning to his length, which she cleaned using long continuous strokes of her tongue.

Shaking he was gripping so hard, Kakashi left her be to introduce herself with the idea of wrapping her pretty mouth around him before adding in his thoughts.

“Such a beautiful tease. Keep that up, and I’ll lose my mind.”

“It feels good?” Her voice suddenly coy until her plush lips kiss his length before returning to face him as she bites only the lower one.

“Yes, it does, but it would feel even better if the heat of those lips was wrapped completely around the length so your tongue could lick me while your lips sucked me roughly just like your core did when you came with me inside you.”

Blushing prettily, $Name clasped Kakashi’s shaft lightly between her first three fingers, bringing his head to her lips so she could surround it and begin sucking as her tongue pressed against the underside until precum began leaking out that she slid in between the slit to gather.

Reaching out to touch her cheek as he groaned, Kakashi lost himself in her mischievous eyes as she watched him like a hawk for any sign of a reaction.

“Don’t just work the top. You will make it sore. Slide your lips carefully down, so you don’t choke, making sure not to let your teeth rake against the sides too harshly, or you will cut or create sore spots on the skin.”

She hummed in response which sent a shudder down Kakashi’s spine as her lips slowly slid down the length of his shaft, allowing for her throat to adjust to his size without choking her.

Finally stopping halfway down, $Name carefully slid her tongue around his length before pressing it along the base so she could suck as she slowly bobbed up.

Breathing heavier, Kakashi watched as she began her rhythm, the swell of her hips just peeking past her shoulders as she curled up over her tucked-up legs to suck him off.

Knowing he had promised to provide insight, Kakashi spoke in between grunts. “That feels good. I can’t imagine how good it will be when you start moving faster and apply a little pressure.”

She shifted the angle of his cock than with her hand, which was resting at its base with her index finger and thumb hooked around it. Swallowing once, she tilted her head up and down a few times before settling in a position and beginning to bob up and down more fluidly as her fingers at his base applied slight pressure to keep his shaft stable. 

Moaning contentedly as the pressure in his core began to tighten, Kakashi brought a hand to her hair and began to run his fingers through it. “That’s it just like that. That feels amazing.”

Not convinced since amazing should have meant he couldn’t say anything, $Name began to swirl her tongue around his length as her free hand started sliding up his abdomen to caress his chest before her eyes looked up in mid bob to watch him through hooded lids.

With just that simple look, Kakashi broke.

To him, it was like those eyes begged him to cum; his desire to thrust into those lips suddenly spiking as she stroked his abs and hummed against his shaft. Slightly pleasing, slightly teasing, it sent him right over the edge.

“$Name, keep going, and I’m going to cum. I need to-“

She sped up, ignoring his pleas keeping her hand pressed at his base while her lips pinched in and sucked him harder: her eyes never leaving his.

“$Name…sweetheart…hmmm…” and then he gasped as he shot a much smaller load into her waiting lips, swallowing quickly after as his cock twitched and thrust in deeper as his body took over as soon as his orgasm hit.

Wanting to hear more, $Name slowed slightly but continued to milk him in long slow strokes, remembering how sensitive she was after Kakashi had made her cum using his tongue.

Having cum once before, Kakashi recovered from this one much faster, taking $Name by surprise as he grabbed her hips.

“Come here.”

His voice was a command, and for a moment $Name thought she was in trouble or had done something wrong, but Kakashi quickly dashed those fears when he pulled her up and forced her to brace against the headboard before pulling her hips down onto his lips so he could return the favor.

Moaning the minute his tongue hit her lips, Kakashi savored the dripping heat of her folds as his cock desperately tried to twitch but didn’t have the stamina to harden once again so quickly. Delving his tongue deep into her core Kakashi placed one thumb at her clit so he could circle it lazily while the index and middle finger of the other slid deep within her walls before twisting and curling so he could press his pads against her distending G-spot.

He wanted her mewling on top of him, her body writhing and twitching as she leaked all over him, begging him to stop, begging him to continue. She was his, all his, and he would write that into her soul with his tongue if he could reach it every time he made love to her no matter where he touched.

Removing his thumb, Kakashi slid his hand over her ass so he could caress her cheek and slide his fingers along the curve of her hips while he sucked in her clit and teased it with his teeth and tongue.

“Kakashi, please…I can’t…I don’t think I can again. It feels so good, but I’m stuck. I can feel my orgasm building, but it just won’t crest.”

She brought her hands to his hair and ran them through his locks as her hips started trying to ride his lips. Pulling back against his desires, he looked up at her needy, flushed face.

“I have an idea. Do you trust I won’t do anything purposefully hurtful to you?”

“Yes.” She nods.

“Do you trust I only want to make you feel good and beautiful, so you know you are everything to me?”

$Name bite her lower lip and nodded.

“Good, then I need you to do me a favor, Princess.”

“Okay.” Her hands were stroking his hair as she looks down into his gorgeous eyes.

“Until your orgasm is finished, I want you to call me Daddy. Can you do that?”

She squirmed slightly but nodded, having remembered the few other times she had done so.

“Alright then, Princess. I’m going to make you cum, so be a good girl and relax for me.”

His lips were back between hers as the hand on her ass started massaging her cheek sensually. Slowly at first, so he can build her gradually, Kakashi teased $Name’s clit until her first plea escaped.

“Daddy, I’m stuck. Please help me. I’m close but not close enough.”

Curling his fingers against her G-spot, Kakashi massaged it gently but continuously as his tongue licked harder and faster at her hood. Feeling her begin to ride his tongue messily, Kakashi rubbed her ass a few more times before shocking her system.

Doing the best he could to time it, Kakashi rubbed her G-Spot, licked up in her clit, and spanked her ass all at once, causing the jolt from the spank to send a painful jab to her clit that was instantly soothed by his tongue while creating a dull ache in her core as her spot was stimulated.

Within the next second of it happening, she squirted, and his fingers began fucking her swollen core roughly as his tongue localized feeling on her hood and his free hand massaged her ass.

“Mmmm, Daddy, yes. Again. Spank me again.”

Again he followed the same process he did before, but this time the spank was a little higher and sharper, bringing an even more piercing pain to her clit from the reddened and angry skin at the fleshiest part of her ass.

Now squelching fluid, Kakashi sucked and licked her abused pussy while fucking her deeply with his fingers.

It only took one more spank after that to push her over the edge. Now shaking and crying in pleasure due to how spent her body was, Kakashi collected her hands from the death grip she had on the headboard, which was all that was holding her up, and pulled her against him, nestling her into his side as his hand stroked her hair.

“So beautiful, you know that? Even screaming my name, I can’t help but find you breathtaking, wanting to both hold you and make love to you until I can’t anymore.”

Too tired to speak, she says nothing. She just pressed against his side harder before succumbing to sleep.

Though equally tired, it would be a while yet before Kakashi slept, his mind now tormented by thoughts of what the enemy would do to her should she be captured. Shaking with anger and fear, he curled around her as best he could as his eyes watched the door until they couldn’t stay open any longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to see more by me? Come visit https://creativefandoms.com/


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